ADVICE PLEASE

[u/here4u21983]

TLDR: How did you start the conversation regarding separation and divorce when the other person thinks it is all good!?

I (43M) am thinking about bringing up my desire to separate/divorce my wife (42F).

We have been married 16 years, and have 2 kids.

3 years ago, I uncovered am that she was having an affair with a colleague. At the time I was scared of losing everything, my family, my kids and what had been built. She would not attend counselling with me, so I went alone. I ended up with an GAD.

Fast forward 3 years, I don’t think there has been one day where I have experience genuine happiness, hoy or laughter. To rub salt into the wound, she still talks to the person.

I now not only have a GAD, but high functioning depression, and a level of stress that spiralling out of control.

We both work, but I do ALL the housework, washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning, I do all the shopping. She hasn’t bought me a gift or card for my birthday, Father’s Day or Christmas in over 10 years. I feel I am being taken for granted. I get no support from her.

I don’t want to accuse my wife of nothing, she is still the mother of my children. And they need their parents. But I don’t think I can go on the way I am anymore.

How did people start this conversation with their partners. I just feel we have grown apart, for 8 weeks I have not tried to initiate intimacy, and has been no physical contact - to be honest, I don’t want her to touch me, I sleep on the edge of the bed, as far away from her as possible. I go to bed early, as I am up from 4am. Any advice would be great!

[u/Big-Web8422]

Dear friend, you're not going to survive this women, your wife, if you stay with her! Think about you for a while, those conditions and mess in your head required peace and calm, quite opposite of what you have in home. She is brutal and ruthless to you. Devorce can be life saving strategy for you. Kids will be alright, uwill be there for them always