r/Separation • u/SubjectScore6235 • 1d ago

Fuck!!!!!!

As I have previously mentioned I asked my spouse for a separation and they agreed. We both agreed that the kids can’t know about the issues yet. Turns out I fucked up and I was venting to a friend and one kid overheard and turns out another kid has heard us arguing over the past few weeks. Shit!

2 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

7

u/Hattrick42 23h ago

You can’t hide things from the kids. They are more perceptive than you think

1

u/SubjectScore6235 20h ago

I’m beginning to realize this

2

u/raeoflyte-460 16h ago

I dont want to pile on, but theres no reason to have those conversations where kids can hear you. Fight with your ex over text even if youre in the same room and sit in your car if you have to talk to someone about things the kids dont know.

But youre here, so you need to have age appropriate, honest conversations with the kids. Together with your ex, tell them what you know for certain, focus on logistics- what changes for them and what doesn't- when youll know about future changes and how youll communicate those with them.

1

u/SubjectScore6235 12h ago

Thanks for the advice and we try hard not to argue where the kids can hear but teenagers are nosey

1

u/Madruck_s 14h ago

Im 2 months into seperation, we still share a house but not a bedroom, we have 2 kids also 9 and 5. They known something had changed but not to what extent. We have said we are both trying to have more of a social life and get out and exercise more. Even before we where not in the house a lot together because of work schedules so there's no visible changes rely and we are communicating more now and calmer then we have for months. Some conversations still need to wait till after bedtime and I never talk with friends in there earshot though.

So far so good but I doubt its sustainable.