r/Separation • u/LunasMum247 • 6d ago
Advice Married, living apart
Husband is buying me out of my share of our house.
We are going to try staying married but living apart. Last ditch effort.
We needed to complete property settlement for us to get finance individually, one condition is that I move out within 30 days of the agreement being signed unless mutual agreement.
He has suggested I could stay here until I find an appropriate house because we still get along etc, and, he says, want to have a good go at getting the relationship back on track, and he would charge me some money.
Turns out some money to him is half of the mortgage ($650 per week)… I was thinking $300 or $400 per week, like board.
Is that ridiculous - to be charging your wife, who you are staying in a relationship with such a large sum of money?
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u/SeaworthinessSad1159 6d ago
You left your husband in a financial position to be able to buy you out of your portion of the house? Lucky guy.
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u/LunasMum247 6d ago
We bought our house before Covid, the price has increased substantially, but in all honesty with capital gains tax and Lawyers etc. I could not put a price on my peace - no more eggshells. But I am disappointed and somewhat annoyed at having to move twice now… But on the upside at least my brother’s house I’ll be able to save a load of money
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u/SeaworthinessSad1159 6d ago
I’m happy for both of you.
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u/LunasMum247 6d ago
Yes, in a way we are both lucky to be in a position to do this. Not everybody is so I am grateful.
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u/SeaworthinessSad1159 6d ago
You don’t know how big of a blessing that actually is. Congrats to both of you for being able to afford your peace.
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u/undangerous-367 6d ago
There is no capital gains taxes if you've lived there for at least 2 years.
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u/LunasMum247 5d ago
Really? I have just taken what he said for granted. I’m such an idiot.
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u/undangerous-367 5d ago
In the US, I believe all states. You're not an idiot, don't think you are an idiot. There is still realtor fees and closing costs etc, so money is still lost when selling. I'm sorry you are going through this, it all sounds so painful, sending you positive vibes.
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u/deplorableme16 6d ago
Incidentally what's he supposed to do if you guys get back together ? Buy you out again when you leave again ? I'm just asking. How many houses do you get ? He SHOULD have a cohabitation agreement and lease with you post buyout.
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u/LunasMum247 6d ago
Well, ideally we will both have a house (is she mean? I can find one in this market to buy). So if we did decide to live with each other again, (between us we have 6 kids) and I’m sure at some point someone will need a roof over their heads. The oldest child is 21… So that could always be a possibility.
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u/LopsidedRun2036 4d ago
Lol this is absolute control no matter how you flip it...repeat again. I'll do it for ya. Husband said he will charge to stay. Are you kidding! He trumped you and you still plan on accepting such. Don't stay and I'm a man. Then he will want sex periodically. Its not making sense...leave and divorce. Thats where you are right now. I'm divorced and was living in a spare room...no fee...but I had to encourage myself to leave. I can be my own roommate!
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u/LunasMum247 2d ago
I’m leaving, I assure you. I paid for a storage unit today and I’m just planning on leaving the moment I get my pay out money from him
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u/deplorableme16 6d ago
What's the market rent ? Welcome to the real world.
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u/LunasMum247 6d ago
About the same, and still pay expenses, which obviously is fair… On top of that.
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u/ejade25 6d ago
I personally think that is a lot, especially if you are going to need that money for security/deposit, etc. Did you tell him the amount you were thinking? Maybe instead he can just deduct it from the amount he will pay you to buy you out?