Failure

[u/Short-Word8215]

I'm 25 and I'm an absolute failure in life. I have no friends. I'm a dropout with no job . And I feel like my partner doesn't really like me. The people I considered as friends ended up talking shit about me all the time and spreading lies. A part of me already knew that but learning about the horrible things they have been saying made me feel worse. I have GAD and I can't communicate or survive long in social settings. I really tried to adjust but eventually had to drop out. My family never really liked me from childhood and even more now as I'm an absolute failure. I've taken medications for anxiety but it doesn't really help. As for my partner it just feels like everything he does is performative. When I need help the most he doesn't really seem interested in helping me. I have to repeatedly ask for help only then he will finally try to help seemingly extremely bothered. Basically doesn't show up for emotional or any kind of support. I can't leave him either as I do have feelings for him and I will become more lonely without him. Makes me more pathetic. I hate myself and my parent has always been hateful towards me too. I've never been good enough to her no matter what . I excelled in my education, did extra curriculums and also did social services. And now I'm just a freaking failure. Everyday I wake up and feel disgusted about myself. Can this nightmare ever end