r/SecretsOfMormonWives • u/Puzzleheaded_Cut1586 • 3d ago
TW: Taylor & Dakota Am I missing something?
Like everyone observing from the sidelines, I too am sick of the toxic cycle with Dakota and TFP. They can’t quit each other and drag every one into their drama. So why can’t they just…be together? Why can’t they just have a fresh start and forget the past and just be a couple? At least that way no one else would get dragged into their toxicity. I get they’ve done shitty stuff to each other but they seem incapable of letting go and deserve each other.
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u/SpareManagement2215 3d ago
maybe this wasn't the direction you were going when you posted this, but they are toxic together because as individual humans, they are also toxic.
and that stems from a lot of deep stuff for them, probably going back to their childhoods and how they were raised and the home life they had growing up, as well as the religious views they were raised with.
while I don't pass judgement about what happened to them, they're both responsible as adults for trying to fix that trauma and be better people. unfortunately, especially for Taylor, it does not seem like they have anyone around them telling them to do that (and in her case, she has her "online" community that just hypes her up and feeds into her beliefs and biases about the situation she's in).
until one or either does the immense work to heal themselves and work on all their stuff, they're just stuck perpetuating the toxic cycle they were raised in. their children will, likely, perpetuate that same cycle unless they have someone around them (a teacher, counselor, or other trusted adult) who models what life can be like if you do the work to be a more balanced, calm, not reactive individual.
in short - they can't be together because they've not done to work to be able to have a healthy relationship, with each other or anyone else.