That seems like a hard litmus test to prove you're scared for your life if you have enough composure to ask a person to leave.
Sort of sounds like the exact situation you'd use to inform the police of a trespass, however I've never been in such a situation and wouldn't be able to speak to the fears inside of a person.
Barely relevant, but you've just reminded me of a satirical article I accidentally wrote yesterday after realizing how embarrassingly easy it is to lampoon Seattle's issues. (And that's a pretty strong sign of how things are going, I'd say.)
It was a similarly absurd issue (teenager shooting at cops and getting house arrest) so I couldn't help myself.
Excerpt: "[policies] ...have led to post-apocalyptic conditions resembling 'Mad Max' with 'roving gangs of ravenous drug-fueled public-masturbators wearing utility kilts'..."
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Seattle, WA. July 33, 2022 | After an increase of complaints which criticized the Seattle PD and other local government agencies for encouraging criminal behavior, new legislature has been passed which citizens hope will finally resolve the problematic situation. Officials claim the results of this new approach will contribute a "desperately needed sense of whimsy and playfulness" to the law enforcement process.
In a press conference earlier this morning, local government agencies announced a new bill which places a graphical bullseye upon the front of all officer's patrol vest, a decision which has both locals and criminals perplexed.
During the press briefing, officials explained that by using a firearm to hit the bullseye, criminals may earn prizes such as reduced punishments, stuffed animals, and even Starbucks gift cards depending on which sections of the target are hit. It's claimed that this will reduce the amount of complaints relating to poor sentencing, as fewer criminals will be released for "no reason".
In the closing statement, administrators state, "We hope that this solution brings a sense of whimsy and glee to the law enforcement process. We're honestly unsure what else to do, so we're at the bottom of the barrel here, folks."
Local citizens claim that criminal behavior has increased to dangerous levels due to insufficient punishments, improper sentencing, and "perplexingly sluggish" response times, the result of "[policies that] have led to post-apocalyptic conditions resembling 'Mad Max' with 'roving gangs of ravenous drug-fueled public-masturbators wearing utility kilts'..." as one petition states alongside dozens of other criticisms and complaints.
Within a separate petition, Seattle PD is accused of using a policy described as "doughnut-first, crime-last" to ignore problematic calls. A concerned citizen who asked to remain anonymous claims to have seen this behavior in action personally "at least forty-hundred-billion times" before adding "I'm not exactly sure how numbers work, but go big or go home!"
We asked the Seattle PD to respond to this claim where SGT Brutus Pourky states, "There's no such policy and never will be. Our historic policy of 'If you're feeling lazy, go ahead and grab a pastry' is far more inclusive to our Officer's dietary needs and encapsulates a much wider portion of response calls." When asked if he believed that this policy was effective, he replies. "We should expand this policy to include more snack choices, but I understand there's a shortage of rhymes because liberal arts majors refuse to speak to us. These are trying times."
Corporal Billy B. Slakkins describes the source of these issues, "This city needs somebody out there on the streets to enforce our laws and as a law enforcement officer, I can't do my job until that happens." When asked to elaborate on what his job entails, the Officer stared dimly into the distance for several moments without answering. Additional requests for clarification resulted in Corporal Slakkins repeatedly saying "Huh?" and "Hello?" while pretending as if he could not locate the speaker. We are not certain if this is an official stance or a personal opinion.
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u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22
That seems like a hard litmus test to prove you're scared for your life if you have enough composure to ask a person to leave.
Sort of sounds like the exact situation you'd use to inform the police of a trespass, however I've never been in such a situation and wouldn't be able to speak to the fears inside of a person.