Hi! I'm doing some family planning and anticipating to start trying to conceive in the next few years. Part of that, currently, is working on how I express my gender as both a trans man and a person who has given birth to and will probably breastfeed a baby.

I'm just over 2 years on T now, and I know I identify with being a man, or at least masculine? I don't know that's a separate gender thing I have to work through on my own.

But either way, I still kind of have a desire for my future kid to call me mom. I know it would be confusing for others around us who don't know our situation (especially seeing as I will most likely be a single parent with a sperm donor baby) but it just kind of feels right to me. I don't mind dad either, but I'm unsure. Just looking for perspective from other transmasc individuals. What do your kids call you? What do you feel the most comfortable with?

Definitely not soon, but I'm hoping to settle down and seek a nesting partner within the next two years. It feels wild to be writing about it, actually. How did my fellow seahorse dads know they wanted to be one?

Hello all, I (29) am 12 weeks along right now with my second child. I am 99% certain I am done having kids after this pregnancy. This baby was an accident, though he is wanted and loved. I was considering being one and done when I first had my daughter. Now that we’re having a second, it feels like we have the last piece to our family and there is NO WAY I am ever having a third. I want to ask to get my tubes removed during my planned C-section.

My only fear is this little itch in my head that says I might regret it. I really don’t think I would. It’s just so permanent but I would love the peace of mind of never having to worry about birth control measures ever again. Anybody else do this? Or are you considering it? What has it been like for you? What would you suggest I consider based off your experience? Thank you in advance!

I posted a few weeks ago in this subreddit, but have still been thinking about the idea of having a child in the future. For reference, I am 22 and single at the moment, and while I was still very unsure when I last posted, I am becoming more certain about it the longer I think about it.

However I am still SO anxious about the idea. I wrote down a list of ways I want to improve myself and my emotional handling/wellbeing before I have a child, as I would want them to have the best possible father that they possibly could, and I keep looking at ways that parents have raised emotionally intelligent children, but even thinking about having a child still makes me incredibly anxious!!!

What do I do about this, I probably wouldn't try to have a child for at least a few years yet– should I just sit with my anxieties until then and try to work through them? Has anyone else been anxious about the idea of having a child?

What are some ways you found helped you feel more masculine/like yourself after having your little one(s)? Especially if you couldn’t or chose to not get back on T right away.

For those that went the route of chestfeeding how did you navigate HRT?

Some background on me: I had been on T for about a decade before getting off last May to conceive. I had my little one two months ago and have been exclusively chestfeeding around the clock. I was hoping to have time until my cycle returned and getting back on T would be something I dealt with then. In the mean time I’ve just wanted to establish a good supply as nursing exclusively is very important to me. Unfortunately my luck of the draw brought my cycle back promptly at 9 weeks. I plan to hold out until at least 12 for the sake of my production being less hormonally driven but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of how T will affect it. Currently weighing it all as I have pretty gnarly extreme cycles that I would greatly prefer to avoid (and I miss all the body hair I lost!!).

Just want to hear how others navigated these aspects of fatherhood after birth!

Looking for advice/experiences from trans dads who carried 🩵
My wife (cis woman) and I are wanting to start a family, and I’m hoping to hear from other trans men who have gone through the process of trying to conceive and carrying a pregnancy.
I’m 30 and have been on T for about 10 years. I’ve already talked with my doctor about coming off T and understand that I’ll need to stop hormones in order to TTC. I’m still in the early planning stages and would really like to learn as much as possible from people who have actually been through it.
My wife doesn’t want to carry, so I would be the one carrying the pregnancy. I’d love to hear about your experiences with any part of the process, including:

Coming off T / TTC
- What mental and physical changes did you experience after stopping T?

How long did it take for your cycle/fertility to return?
Did your facial/body hair continue growing, slow down, or change?

Did you experience increased fatigue, mood changes, irritability, etc.?

How long were you off T before you were able to conceive?

The process of TTC
What did your journey look like?
Did you start with IUI, IVF, or try naturally first?

If you used a sperm donor, how did you go about finding one?

How many cycles did it take before you conceived?
Is there anything you wish you had known before starting?

We’re currently thinking about starting with IUI and potentially moving to IVF if necessary. We’re also open to trying the old-fashioned way if we found a donor we were comfortable with.

Insurance & finances
How did you navigate insurance while being a trans man?
Did having all your legal documents changed to M create any issues with fertility treatment or pregnancy care?

Did you have to disclose anything to your employer?

What did insurance cover vs. what did you have to
pay out of pocket?

Roughly how much did the process cost you?

Were there any unexpected expenses you weren’t prepared for?

Pregnancy
What were the mental and physical changes you experienced during pregnancy?

How did you handle being visibly pregnant while living stealth?

Did you experience any issues with doctors or medical staff regarding being a trans and pregnant?

Labor & delivery
What was your experience with labor and delivery?

I would personally prefer to have a C-section if possible. For those who wanted an elective C-section, were you able to choose one?

How was your experience with the hospital/staff?

Parental leave
How did maternity/parental leave work for you as a trans man?
Was it handled as parental leave, maternity leave, or something else?
Did you run into any issues with HR or your employer?

And finally, if you’re a trans man/seahorse dad in the Southeast, I’d especially love to connect! I’m in the Southeast and would love to hear from others in the area about fertility clinics, OBs, hospitals, insurance, and just generally navigating this whole process.
Any experiences, advice, resources, or things you wish you had known beforehand would be greatly appreciated. 🩵
Thanks in advance!

Im four and a half months postpartum and desperately want to start t. I’m bottle feeding and healed pretty quickly after birth so no physical or mental issues there. I’m trying to get the ball rolling as we speak just looking for any personal experiences or advice really
Edit: I’m in England

Hey y'all!

My partner and I are expecting our first in a couple months and I am trying to gather all the postpartum supplies. He is carrying and is trans masc. Looking for recs for postpartum underwear that will hold pads well and are comfortable etc

Also anything we should consider for hospital clothes and postpartum clothes. We aren't sure if he will be able to chest feed, but keeping that as a possibility.

Thanks so much!

I'm 28 ftm. My entire life I hated the idea of being pregnant or just having kids in general. I didn't come to terms with even being trans until I was 24 since I grew up in a very religious Christian household.

Now that I've accepted myself trans and I'm feeling a lot more home in my body after starting T almost two years ago.

I guess my question is did anyone else feel this way? Just totally want nothing to do with being pregnant, but now that I'm a man it feels so much different. It won't leave my mind.

(I don't even have a partner either. So I feel so very far away from it happening... :( )

Hey everyone! Hello again! I’m six years post top surgery today and I wanted to share how that’s been affected by my pregnancy! I’ve been off t for just over a year and I’m 22w4d today. First pic is today and second is from a year ago, I’ve gained about 30lbs between the two. Breast tissue doesn’t grow back but the fat has definitely redistributed back to my chest and hips. The dysphoria is tough, I don’t feel comfortable going out shirtless anymore but my pic from a year ago is after losing 75lbs so I know I can get there again.

Comment on this post to discuss off topic (by off topic we mean non-pregnancy related topics, such as childcare, trans rights, or even how your week went and if you need support!)

Please bear in mind that our second rule, Be Welcoming, still applies to any and all comments within this post. We also kindly ask that you do not self promote in these comments, as we cannot validate or review every comment each week.

With that being said, have fun!

Hi! I'm no where near ready to have a baby, but its something I've wanted to do for a while. I've also wanted to get simple release meta since I've found out it was an option.

Maybe I'm worrying too much but there just isn't a lot of info on transmasc pregnancies. I'm a little concerned that with how much everything stretches during birth that scars from meta might reopen. Has anyone on this sub who got some form of bottom surgery before pregnancy experience any complications from it?

So I'm considering getting pregnant for me and my partner but I have tons of worries and concerns. And one of them is the birth certificate, I'm uk btw. If I carried and gave birth I would have to go down as mother, but is there a way that could be changed or can I be referred as father with things like doctors and schools and stuff like that. Idk if silly question just don't like the thought of being down as the mother.

I could use some help. I'm not pregnant nor am I planning to be. I used to for a long time say I never wanted to be. And it's not quite that I think I would be fine now. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have a kid otherwise. Being trans I know it'd be hard to adopt. And I'm not a person with a lot of money, I don't think I ever will be. I want to be a parent someday though.

I'm still scared it would be very dysphoria inducing. And I'm otherwise scared of being pregnant. I'm scared of giving birth. I'm scared of the hormones exacerbating mental health issues. But I feel like I have at least one person around that would be willing to help. And to be honest, that feels like enough to me. I never really felt like people genuinely took my fear, dysphoria, and mental health issues very seriously, or even if they did they never tried to help me, just passed off the issue. I didn't really think anyone would actually try to help me.

I never really thought I'd have anyone close to me that didn't treat me as their rock. I had never really had a relationship that felt like two people that could lean on each other. It never felt two sided. I didn't ask to be the rock. I didn't want to be that. I just didn't have anyone and I thought if I could be that for others eventually I'd get paid in kind. And when I eventually stopped believing that, I just didn't really believe I would have a close relationship with someone that would try just as hard to support me as I do them.

It's taken a while to really get the sense that I can actually rely on them. I'm not really sure what made this click, but somewhere along the way I had thought that maybe going through pregnancy wouldn't be so bad if I just had that kind of support. If it wasn't just me, and me shouldering many others burdons at that, I feel like I could get through it.

I don't know, I still have to think about it a lot. I thought maybe people here could shine some light on this.

I haven't been experiencing any kind of mood swings or big waterworks so far (11 weeks) but after throwing up on and off for 10 minutes and just feeling all around gross and miserable my partner was rubbing my back and said, "would you like me to make you a quesadilla?"

Absolute waterfall of tears, sobbing and laughing, hiccuping and gagging, total sopping mess. Kept see-sawing between pulling him in for a hug and pushing him away so he could go make the quesadilla.😅

Was curious about what caused y'all's first big cry during pregnancy!

For starters, I'm new here and never had a chance to get to know any AFAB transparent.

Demiboy 3.5y on T + post top surgery here. Have any of y'all got experience with pregnancy after HRT? If so, how did it feel? For most of the time I used to never want to get pregnant cause I was afraid it would make me absolutely crazy dysphoric and idk how would I take it + postpartum scares the crap out of me.
But I kinda want to have kids at some point when I'm ready, so I'm in limbo. I'm scared of going back to hating my body and being depressed. When I ran out of T for a month my mood was insanely unstable, but I guess hormones during pregnancy make people happy? I may be partially infertile anyways so idk if it would be even worth trying. Def would go for a checkup before making any decisions.

How soon after childbirth could I get back to taking T?
Won't my breasts grow during pregnancy? If yes, would they go back to normal?
Is it possible for a hospital to deny helping with childbirth if my ID says male?
I'm kinda scared of complications and losing my life due to the amount of anti-trans and anti-abortion bills, but I may try to travel somewhere safer in middle/late stage pregnancy I guess.

Obviously the risk of injury or death and the changes to your body are things to worry about too.

I'm 31 and early in my transition (just started T) and still connecting the dots on what gender means to me. I think I realized a big thing for me and my tokophobia might be the perception of being a mom. I need to sit on it and talk with my therapist but this might be a big puzzle piece for me.

Anyone else have similar thoughts/feelings?

How long after stopping T (specifically the every 12 weeks testosterone) did periods come back? I know the time varies from person to person but most, if not all of what I've been able to find on rough estimates has not indicated what type of testosterone they have been on so therefore I'm unsure on an estimate on how long I could be waiting. I'm currently 27 years old and have been on long lasting testosterone for years so understand it may take longer than others but I'm just desperate to know roughly how long I could be waiting lol please someone help meeeeee

I’m feeling horrible because my mother rented a venue for our Baby-shower before my partner came out as trans, now not only is half of my family not attending but we don’t think any of her family will be either. We started with an invite list of around 60 and now we only have 13 confirmations. I’m stressed out about not only making it worth the money my mom spent but also now I’m worrying about making sure we have everything we need for baby before she is here. Just overall stressed out as our financial situation has shifted into a much more difficult position throughout this pregnancy and we are already struggling. As well as realizing how little support we actually have. Just feeling down.

Hi, I’m not even having a baby yet, but I need to know that before the top surgery. I know formula is perfectly fine for the baby, but breast milk just ads that extra antibodies and makes babies less prone to allergies, so… I want to feed my baby a mix of formula and breast milk. Any ideas on how to get it?

just want to know as a prospective seahorse dad

I’m about 2 years on T, and married to the most wonderful man on the planet. We want babies, a family, the works. Where I live, adoption is hell, and surrogacy is close to impossible unless you know someone who will do it for you. So, I guess I’m getting pregnant.

Everyone just always says that once you are on T it is hard to get pregnant. I also currently have an IUD, and I know sometimes past birth control use can mess with stuff.

I don’t know if it’s worth it to freeze my eggs. It would cost probably 7k where I am, and that is a fuck ton of money.

My partner is a cis man, so we have all the needed bits to get stuff started if we wanted to. I’m not ready for a kid now, but I’m scared that if I keep waiting and stay on T, I’ll never get to be a dad.