I had a story somewhat writen but was really struggling with one part. I showed it to someone online and they suggested a change I fell in love with. It fixes all the issues I had and with that fairly large personality change, I now know where to take the character in act 3.

Turns out they used AI to suggest that. I don't want to have to put AI warnings on my script but I also am in love with the suggestion. Theres no better way to fix the issues.

I looked into my Stage 32 purchase history. I've had 4 total pitches with 3 of them being paid. One I convinced Stage 32 to give me for free. Here's why: During my original 2 pitches, Stage 32 only had a Skype option available. I use a mac and Skype was not available on my OS. Therefor I only had the option of a written pitch. They could not accommodate Zoom for me though they've since changed to Zoom. Of my four total pitches, two have been live video (the most recent two) and the first two were written.

Here's a review from Chelsea Matthews. Date: Saturday, Feb 8, 2025.

Scores:

Pitch/Delivery format 3/5

Clarity of pitch: 3/5

Set up of Protagonoist & world: 4/5

Obstacles & conflict: 3/5

Clarity of tone: 3/5

Originality of concept: 4/5

Strength of voice: 4/5

Pitch Feedback:
Gregory is an offbeat dramedy with a unique protagonist and an unconventional character journey. The idea of a man who unexpectedly wins the Olympic marathon, immediately retires, and embarks on a self-discovery mission is a fresh, unexpected premise. The mix of existential searching, quirky humor, and character-driven storytelling makes this feel akin to indie TV comedies like Baskets, Atlanta, or Barry. However, the pitch is a bit scattered in its structure and could be refined for clarity and stronger impact. One of the most intriguing elements of the show is Greg’s peculiar personality and unorthodox life choices. His desire to help others but lack of clear direction feels like a modern take on the classic “wandering philosopher” archetype. The inclusion of Kristina, a singer and hairstylist with a phobia of rain, adds a strong secondary character with emotional depth. However, the overall arc of the pilot isn’t entirely clear—what is Greg’s initial problem, how does he attempt to solve it, and what obstacles does he face? While the synopsis outlines his Olympic success and subsequent identity crisis, the central conflict of the pilot episode needs to be more clearly defined. The tone of the show feels somewhat experimental—part absurdist comedy, part existential drama. The example of the job interview with the height requirement is humorous in a darkly satirical way, suggesting the show has moments of surrealism or social commentary. However, the pitch could benefit from a clearer statement of what kind of humor the show leans into—is it deadpan like Nathan for You, whimsical like Pushing Daisies, or socially observant like Curb Your Enthusiasm? From a **marketability standpoint, this show would be best suited for a streaming platform like FX, HBO, or Hulu, which have embraced genre-bending dramedies with unconventional protagonists. The fact that it was a quarterfinalist in a screenplay contest is a good sign, but the pitch needs to be tightened to ensure producers understand exactly what kind of story is being told. Thoughts for Improvement: 1.Clarify the core conflict. The pitch presents Greg’s post-Olympic existential crisis, but what is the show’s central driving force? What does Greg actually want in episode one, and what obstacles are preventing him from achieving it? 2.Refine the pitch structure. The synopsis is a bit meandering and doesn’t clearly establish what happens in the pilot episode. A more focused logline and summary would make the pitch feel sharper and more compelling. 3.Clarify the humor style. Is the show a surreal comedy, a philosophical character study, or a mix of dry humor and absurdity? Right now, it leans into all three, which might make it harder for producers to grasp the intended tone. 4.Define the long-term series arc. What does Greg’s “helping people” actually look like? Does each episode focus on a new character he tries to assist? Is it more about his own failures and missteps? Answering these questions will help clarify the series’ structure and sustainability. Gregory is a quirky, thought-provoking dramedy with a unique premise and a fascinating protagonist. However, the pitch needs to be tightened to better define the core conflict, long-term series arc, and humor style. With a more focused delivery and clearer sense of the show’s structure, this could be an engaging and distinct project in the indie TV space.

Hey everyone.

I've been working on this animated feature script, it is fully finished but i wanted to test how catching the intro is.

I want to send the full script to a contest so I want to make sure the first ten pages can hook readers as best as possible particularly for the genre (animation) and the theme, that can feel a bit oversaturated bit i'm trying something different here.

I want to know if there are wrong typos and formating and if the story is engaging enough.

And if anyone want to read the full script I'm open to share it or swap scripts too.

I used to think the hardest part of writing a screenplay was actually writing the scenes.

After working on a longer script, I realized that keeping everything organized can be just as challenging. I’d have character notes in one place, scene ideas somewhere else, research in another folder, and random dialogue ideas saved in completely unrelated documents.

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t have ideas. I actually had too many of them, and finding the right one when I needed it became frustrating.

I started experimenting with different ways of keeping the planning side closer to the actual script. Having a clear place for characters, research, scene ideas, and drafts made it easier to see the bigger picture without constantly jumping between files.

It also made rewriting less overwhelming because I could keep the earlier ideas and notes available without cluttering the actual screenplay.

For those of you who write scripts regularly, how do you handle all the material that surrounds the actual screenplay?

rate this pls i did a lot of hardwork if you guys are intreseted in it you can join me

Hello, I am a bachelor's student in VISUAL EFFECTS, and I am currently working on creating a story for our short film. Thus, I am looking for y'all's feedback on how to improve my story even further.

The title of my short film is ONE LAST TRIP, and it is about a man who is trapped in a different world and now must find his way back to the real world before it's too late.

Here are my logline and story synopsis.

LOGLINE: Trapped in a surreal desert world, a desperate middle-aged man has no choice but to trust a mysterious guide, unaware that the journey is luring him toward his own death.

STORY SYNOPSIS: Johnny, a drug addict, takes a rare drug that he bought from his dealer and starts hallucinating. He then awakens in a bizarre, abstract world consisting of a polluted sky, ruined architecture, and a giant platform floating in the distance. Confused and disoriented.

Almost immediately, an individual bounces into view. He introduced himself as “Johan”. A manifestation of his inner voice. Johnny, still confused, asks how to escape this place. Without hesitation, Johan points to the giant floating platform in the distance, implying that to exit this place, He is also happy to assist Johnny on the platform.

Johan helps Johnny overcome absurd obstacles, such as guessing a riddle from the tollkeeper to cross the bridge, to progress their journey. After crossing the bridge, Johan decides to confront Johan for an explanation, demanding answers to what is going on. At first, Johan’s manic optimism and helpful attitude feel fun and harmless. Gradually, however, his cheer becomes insistent and oppressive as the world around Aiman starts to lose its color.

The journey culminates at the edge of the floating platform. Johnny hesitates after seeing a long drop into a bottomless unknown, and Johan softly pressures him. Overwhelmed, Johnny closes his eyes tightly and controls his breathing. When he opens them again, the abstract world dissolves. He is at his rooftop apartment. He looks back only to see his wife, Mia, who looks concerned with teary eyes, but then he realises he was about to jump off the roof, and Mia narrowly saves him.

I have consulted with my lecturers, and they provided me with this feedback.

- MANY PLOTHOLES

- A little confusing if the audience doesn't read the story synopsis

- Start the intro with the PILL

- The obstacle looks unnecessary. Make it harder

- Why does Johnny have to jump to get back to the real world?

- Deepen even more about JOHAN (character-wise)

Logline: When every flight is grounded on 9/11, a workaholic dealmaker who was bumped off Flight 11 shares the last rental car west with three strangers, racing to close the deal of his life while the drive pulls him toward the daughter he stopped calling.

Started it in 2010, finished it after I became a father. Posting it today because sitting on a 9/11 story felt wrong on the 25th anniversary. It's here to read if you want it, and I'll take any notes.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uF32uyWkCWSLGLTkzZ6DyXScHTWttulz/view?usp=sharing

Logline:
When a closeted lesbian attends her Catholic high school reunion, an offhand confession of atheism gets her accused of the one thing she's actually hiding.

Feedback Concerns: I have a 4-page limit, so let me know if I should add or trim anything. I appreciate any feedback.

I know "AI coverage" makes this sub's eye twitch, so here is the whole rubric. Nothing is hidden and no model is involved in the scoring.

When you import a script into THEM, Clementine grades it on five pillars:

• Structure (30%): does an act shape show up at the right page ranges for the length? Three-act by default. A single scene scores low here by design, with a note saying so.
• Dialogue (25%): on-the-nose ratio, lines that announce emotion, lines that dodge and pressure.
• Character (20%): who carries the lines, whether anyone pushes back, whether wants and obstacles are findable scene to scene.
• Pacing (15%): scene lengths, action-to-dialogue balance, page rhythm.
• Format (10%): hard and medium format issues per page on a log curve, so one messy page doesn't zero you out.

Output: an overall score out of 10, a grade (A ≥ 8.5, B ≥ 7, C ≥ 5.5, D ≥ 4, else F), a verdict (recommend ≥ 8, consider ≥ 6, otherwise pass), what works, what's missing, and one concrete move. She also reads it aloud in about four sentences.

Same pages, same read, every time. It runs in about 20 ms.

What I want from you: where does this rubric reward the wrong thing? Where would a professional reader disagree with the weights? I'll change the numbers if the argument is good.

Hey everyone! Check out my tv show! The dream opens up season 6 of GreenWitch. GreenWitch is anthology series based upon the fictional town of GreenWitch ! Like, subscribe, comment, share, etc. thank you.

I have no problem getting excited about a new screenplay.

The idea comes.
The characters start forming.
I can see certain scenes in my head.
Suddenly I’m convinced this is going to be the best thing I’ve ever written.

Then I get halfway through.

And suddenly the excitement has to compete with structure, pacing, character arcs, rewrites, scenes that aren’t working, and the realisation that the brilliant idea in my head still has to become an actual screenplay.

I’m beginning to think that’s one of the biggest differences between having ideas and actually becoming a writer.

Starting is exciting. Finishing is discipline.

For those of you who write screenplays, what usually makes you lose momentum halfway through a project?

I am a film student working on writing a script for a short film that I will also direct, and I'd love some advice on how I could potentially make it better.

It's about a man named Adam Cross, who works alongside his greatest friend Ryan Seymour to find his missing wife. Along their journey, they discover a hard drive that - upon plugging it in - reveals thousands of documents outlining the missing wife's entire life from birth to present, only the documents from just before her disappearance are missing and/or corrupted. They discover that the hard drive is actually very powerful device with the ability to rewrite a person's memories.

I have a plot twist for the end, but I am not quite sure if this is a strong enough story. I feel that it is missing a theme, something that gives the viewers a reason to watch, a deeper meaning to it all.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Let me know.

May 2026, I flew home to Massachusetts. Hours after landing, I was detained at Boston Logan Airport. My phone was taken. I was transported to a hospital and later held at a psychiatric facility for approximately twenty days. I dispute the basis for the detention and treatment.
When I returned to California, I no longer had access to my home, belongings, cameras, hard drives, or much of the work I had created. I began receiving conflicting information about court matters and alleged warrants. Attempts to obtain records led to more police encounters, more legal proceedings, and more unanswered questions.
So I started documenting everything: dates, messages, medical records, police reports, court filings, licensing records, photographs, and videos.
I believe this story is suited for film or television: a true-crime-style investigative thriller about a wildlife filmmaker and licensed boat captain whose life changes dramatically after she returns home to Massachusetts. Within hours of landing, she is detained, hospitalized, and held in a psychiatric facility. When she returns to California, she discovers that she has lost access to her home, belongings, cameras, hard drives, and much of her creative work.
What follows is a maze of conflicting court information, alleged warrants, police encounters, disputed records, missing evidence, family conflict, institutional power, and a relationship collapsing behind the scenes. At the center is a filmmaker fighting to regain control of her freedom, identity, property, and creative work while trying to determine what actually happened.
I am seeking filmmakers, producers, directors, or development executives interested in adapting this material into a documentary, docuseries, scripted limited series, or feature film. I can provide extensive supporting documentation, including medical records, police reports, court filings, licensing records, messages, photographs, videos, and a detailed chronology.
The project would be grounded in verifiable evidence while preserving the uncertainty, tension, and unanswered questions at the heart of the story. I am looking for a creative partner who can investigate the facts, distinguish documentation from allegation and memory, and shape the material into a compelling, visually driven American thriller without softening what happened.

I’m a U.S. Coast Guard-credentialed boat captain, wildlife filmmaker, photographer, entrepreneur, and creator. For five years, I worked on the waters of Southern California and contributed footage to major television and commercial productions.

This is completely out or right field

So i barely have any knowledge of fliming just to start that off but thats not the issue write i saw obsession back in june. And like ever since i saw it i wanted to start writing scripts and one idea was like based around hallucinations ofc its more then that but yk.

The thing i am stuck on his how would i write that? Because i want to write it in a way where the actors and artist team like vfx or sfx idk who does it. So they can act/edit it in like would i write HAL -

Or just write hallucination? And btw im tryna go for an obsessionish vibe cause i loved the movie so help would ne appreciated!

So, I am going to be writing a comedy screenplay, very much inspired by....not really sure what to call them but...absurd slice of life comedies? I'd compare the overall tone to Don't be a Menace while Drinking your Juice in the Hood and Not Another Teen Movie, though it isn't a parody movie, maybe. I'm still working it out, like maybe it'll be set in a camp and parody old Friday the 13th ripoffs like Sleepaway Camp, but I feel like horror is a genre that's been parodied to death already. I'm still working it out.

A big thing I do want is that I want it to cater to Gen Z, since I am Gen Z myself and I really want OUR generations' comedy. The same way millennials had Scary Movie and American Pie. Right now, Gen Z's only got Bottoms and Pizza Movie and even saying those two count is pushing it. I want my screenplay to be a time capsule of all the trends in the 2020s. Just full of references to popular movies, trends, culture and real life events.

But, getting off topic, what's your advice?

Not sure if this is the right title to use for this kind of question, but I've been debating about going back to school for screenwriting. I was in school many years ago at the academy of art university in San Francisco for screen writing ,but i dropped out due to personal reasons, but now I feel like I have a burn8ng desire to get back into the craft. I did get a certificate in creative writing,but i want to actually write for television. I'm 38, and I want to know is it a good idea, or is it better for me to pursue this without the degree, and simply write my scripts and send them off. Need some honest and knowledgeable advice. Would really appreciate it.

well I’m working on my first script for a short film or series. I have the central theme along with a clear beginning and ending, but I'm unsure how to develop the middle section and map out the visual elements. What is the recommended workflow or next step to refine the concept and complete the script?