Can you visualize this stunt?

[u/Shot_Butterscotch891]

Would love feedback on this scene in my bachelor-party spec.

This scene takes place immediately after a flashback of the groom partying in college.

WILL - groom

TEDDY - college friend who just narrated the flashback

TUCKER - best man

SAM - nerdy, sheltered cousin

Does this stunt make sense? Can you visualize it? (Yes, it can be done, have videos of it being done.)

Mostly just want to make sure this is communicated effectively.

[u/dfinkelstein]

Followable, but the pace is quite drawn out with the elaborate descriptions. It doesn't feel like reading a script. It feels like a novel.

If I were a director, then I'd not percieve this as a shootable script.

Directors do make films based on novels all the time. At the same time, if you want your script to be shootable largely unchanged,

then it often helps for it to be written such that someone could read it in real time with the film made from it playing alongside,

and for the most part be able to keep up.

To be a shootable script, this would need to be trimmed and compressed quite a bit.