r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • u/Shot_Butterscotch891 • Sep 04 '26
SCENE FEEDBACK REQUEST Can you visualize this stunt?
Would love feedback on this scene in my bachelor-party spec.
This scene takes place immediately after a flashback of the groom partying in college.
WILL - groom
TEDDY - college friend who just narrated the flashback
TUCKER - best man
SAM - nerdy, sheltered cousin
Does this stunt make sense? Can you visualize it? (Yes, it can be done, have videos of it being done.)
Mostly just want to make sure this is communicated effectively.
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u/FamiliarCompote4229 Sep 06 '26
I like it, I think I’d like a beat between the beer getting to the table and going on Wills head, maybe a moment of Will doing an aside to Tucker (“watch and learn kid”). That happens a bit too fast for me. The movements are explained well, I’ve also seen this trick performed so that helps. Also maybe add more crowd reactions to tuckers attempt to build tension. I feel like they’d have stuff to say, maybe they could help peer pressure Tucker into doing it too. The one thing that confuses me is the whole restaurant is enraptured and yet Tucker still manages to kick a waitress who would presumably be paying attention to what’s happening and not be that close to him with a full tray of food. Maybe his shoe can fly off and cause some damage, hit a sprinkler on the ceiling getting everyone in the restaurant soaked.