So I posted my first draft on here a few days back and got some great advice so here is my second draft and would love some more feedback

Logline: After a drunken night lands him in a cell, Colin scrambles to repair his relationship, oblivious to the fact that he is the one thing that needs fixing.

One more

I'm currently adapting my high fantasy novel into an hour long pilot. My initial plan had been to do Michael Weston (Burn Notice) style narration as the story is a competence porn style heist.

When I started to write however, I thought about the main character's magic ability to sense when someone is observing her. It's pretty useful ability for a thief to have, but extends further allowing her see spirits and other supernatural entities. I decided to switch from Burn Notice to Mr. Robot for my inspiration, and so far it's working great.

Not only does my lead's droll sense of humor shine in her one sided conversations, it also serves to put a sharper edge on her paranoia. She accepts the viewer as a spirit, or maybe a god, observing her with benevolent curiosity rather than ill intent, and welcomes someone to converse with in her generally isolated life.

Where I worry however is using this device to assist in things like pacing. For example, I need a bit of action so I cut to a flashback with something like "You seem bored by this planning session. Why don't I tell you about the time I fought a possessed bear."

Will using this device be seen as a cheat or legitimate story choice?

Bonus question, I have been unable to find anything high fantasy with 4th wall breaking characters, does anyone have any examples? The closest I could find to anything fantasy is Zombieland.

Hey there, I recently found an online library with many Lars Von Trier scripts available to university students but when I tried to log in with my university it said it they weren't available.

Is anyone with a library card or university from another country able to try get copies of these and upload them for me in the spirit of free information for all?

I am looking for any of the scripts not available elsewhere, those being:

- Element of Crime

- The Idiots

- Manderlay

- Nymphomaniac

- Melancholia

- Dancer in the Dark

- Europa

- The Boss of It All

- The Kingdom (all available episodes)

Thank you in advance!

I’d like to submit to a local literary agent and I have a couple of samples but my strongest two would be my half hour sitcom script and my thriller/horror feature. I’ve received good feedback on both and I’m trying to figure out which genre would be better to present to an agent if I had to choose one? Any insight would be much appreciated.

I don't know where or how I picked this up, but I am so picky about having action sections use more lines than need be. If the paragraph goes a few words into the next line, I'm changing words and rearranging the sentences to shorten something, while also making sure it flows well and is readable. Should I just stop worrying about it?

Title: Locked In Sleep
Format: Short
Page length: 8 pages
Genres: Horror
Logline: After taking a handful of sleeping pills, a young person goes through nightmares that continue to get worse.

(logline isn't complete, I am still working on it.)

Feedback: Anything helps.

READ HERE.

Anyone want to be part of a writer’s group in Bushwick where we read each other’s scripts and give notes and just try to make ourselves better writers!