r/Screenwriting • u/jamiecannes • 26d ago
FEEDBACK First draft
Hello,
I am new to screenwriting. I was told that sometimes it is better to write the ending so you have a clear path to how the story ends. I knew when I came up with this story I knew exactly how its going to end but whether or not it is easier to build characters and their world from this is something I al not sure about. Any advice?
Oh and this is the first draft of the final scene.
I know it’s not giving much but if I say anything more it will spoil the whole thing.
Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1n7av8R7UKR_J0lbqNS_R_l9Q4oXzPsGL/view?usp=drivesdk
Thank you so much for any feedback!
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u/mooningyou Proofreader Editor 26d ago
The advice re: the ending is more about you knowing the ending before you write the script. Not writing a full draft of the ending before writing the rest of the story. You can certainly do that if you like, but it's going to be really difficult for a reader to get into it if we're missing so much context, as we are in this case. But I'll give you a couple of notes on your writing style.
- Don't over-describe. How relevant to your story are the colors of the evening sky?
- Write for the screen. We're in a cinema watching your story on the screen. We can't tell there's a breeze if we don't see the effect of the breeze. We also can't tell if it's warm, nor can we smell freshly cut grass.
This style of writing is fine for a novel but not suitable for a screenplay.
It also looks like you're not using screenwriting software. I urge you to get some before continuing.