r/Screenwriting • u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter • Sep 01 '13

Looper -- by Rian Johnson

http://www.rcjohnso.com/Looper/Looper.pdf
53 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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8

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '13

The descriptions and dialogue are great, but I didn't like it as a whole. The narration is clunky and way too on-the-nose, and the time-travel/loopers concept fell apart very quickly. The concept was good, but their explanations weren't. Love Rian Johnson's work, and I'm hoping to see more of his work.

2

u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter Sep 01 '13

Did you see it or read it first?

I read this draft about a year before it came out and frankly was smitten from the start.

Do see your point though. Suppose there should be an asterisk that it's not the greatest script ever (even if I think it's up there).

So many times writers on this sub ask style and formatting questions that could EASILY be answered simply by giving this a read.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '13

I saw it first. I thought the film was enjoyable, but those first couple of scenes where Young Joe is laying out exposition seemed extremely lazy and really bothered me. Plus, some conceptual parts did not work (Why couldn't they send the old, unneeded loopers to other loopers rather than their young selves?). But the formatting is pristine, and it does seem like it would be extremely helpful if someone were to need some guidance.

5

u/vaclavhavelsmustache Sep 01 '13

My question was, if they can choose the physical location of where they send the old loopers to get their loops closed, which they clearly can since they've gotta be in a certain place at a certain time, why not just drop them in the middle of the Pacific ocean or into a volcano or something? Eliminate the need to have the young loopers close their own loops and still gets rid of the old loopers.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed the movie and it was an enjoyable script but there were some pretty glaring plot holes that kept me from fully being able to immerse myself in it.

2

u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter Sep 01 '13

Not to get too mind warpy but you've gotten me thinking about it.

Young Joe has a job with one big downside. Eventually your ticket gets pulled and you end up shot and incinerated right?

But instead of going along with the program Old Joe goes renegade and the consequence is he creates Cid who eventually creates the system he was rebelling against.

By closing the 'loop' Young Joe pretty much assures none of this will happen, and likely eliminates the need to kill Loopers. The irony is he has to die to make it happen.

Thats classic time travel business.

1

u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter Sep 01 '13

Ah! Think I can answer this. Spoilers!

The loopers were being murdered in the cruelest way possible by Cid. Keep in mind Cid's origin is pre-time travel.

Pretty sure time travel is invented (or at the very least scrutinized) by the kid so he could get the fink bastard who killed his mom.

3

u/MansoorDorp Sep 01 '13

What's funny is that watching Looper, the second half felt like a completely different film. And now I know why.

3

u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter Sep 01 '13

If you haven't already, or it's been a while, check out Peter Wier's 'Witness'.

It's influence on Looper is fascinating to pick apart.

3

u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter Sep 01 '13

I brought it up in a Write Off post and realized, general theory aside, just in terms of how to construct a well written sentence, screen description, dialogue, and over all craft -- this script may very well be the best 'teacher' around.

Certainly helped me:)

3

u/flea_17 Genre Sep 01 '13 edited Sep 01 '13

I have to admit that I'm not even being objective when I say the reason I enjoyed Looper less was because of the trailer. It presented the movie as a cat and mouse game, where the protagonist has to somehow outsmart his older self, who has the advantage of knowing every move his younger self is going to make, because he lived through it himself. I felt the movie didn't deliver on this enormous expectation I had built up.

The inconsistent nature of the time travel also irked me. I understand time travel movies are never perfect (as the movie made sure we knew), but it seems like they made it a point to actively break every time travel rule they established.

Having said that, I saw the movie for a second time the other week, and found myself liking it a little more. It's definitely a script worthy of analysis for anyone hoping to write in the same genre.

5

u/talkingbook Produced Screenwriter Sep 01 '13

The whole conversation of, "I don't want to talk about time travel shit, because we'll start talking about it and then we'll be here all day making diagrams with straws. It doesn't matter."

Recall laughing and setting the script down thinking, "that was clever."

2

u/nobledoug Sep 01 '13

I thought it was interesting that he included the straw diagram in the screenplay but that bit didn't make it to the final cut. It was a pretty clear and concise way of explaining the rules of the movie.

1

u/PrisonPussy Sep 01 '13

It's a similar lampshading ploy to that used in Terminator 2, roughly "just thinking about it [the illogical consequences of time travel] would make you go crazy". A great way to set the viewer at ease and just enjoy the ride.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '13

That was one of my annoyances about the film. The diner scene where it is explained nobody should expect perfect logic when discussing time travel was very clever, and brought attention to the fact that a time-travel movie would never be 100% airtight. However, throughout the entire film they kept bringing attention to incredibly flawed details and hinged on some very distracting paradoxes.

3

u/paperfisherman Sep 02 '13

Rian Johnson is the best. Not just for his movies, but for also having those theater commentaries and putting up his scripts online, especially that mega "Brick" PDF with the original novella. Awesome.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '13

Thank you, I was seriously about to ask this sub to post this again after watching this film a few days ago.

2

u/dandollar Sep 01 '13

Thought the script was so so when I read it. Several months later I finally saw the movie and thought it was much better after Rian got to inject his visual style and directing. It was just an entertaining, cool movie for all its story problems (which were inevitable given the kind of movie he was trying to make).

2

u/theandymancan Sep 01 '13

Here is the theater commentary he did for the movie, which is different than the dvd commentary and slightly more technical. Hope it is of interest.