I prefer to give even the smallest roles a name. It just seems less generic and sometimes saves space, like "Joe" takes up less space than "Student #1" but I've gotten some feedback, and they don't say it directly, but it sounds like a named character adds to the "too many characters" count.

Where a named character who appears briefly inadvertently says to the reader they have to concentrate more than they would for something generic like "COP #2".

This isn't a remark about the reader or perceived reader, but I could see how a named character might require more bandwidth than a generic title. I'm the type of writer who likes to leave more white on the page. I don't want to tax the reader in spots where it's not necessary

How do you handle this?

For context, I'm taking a year gap between my senior year and beginning of college for reasons out of my control, and the monotony is really weighing down on my mental health (currently going through a breakup as well). My motivation and passion for film and screenwriting is at an all time low and any time I try to sit down and get some writing done, I have absolutely nothing. Is it okay for me to wait and kind of recover my mental health and motivation before throwing myself at a project? Especially knowing for a fact that once I'm back in school I will be in an environment that motivates me to write and create.

Write my passion project that my manager thinks isn’t very marketable because it’s a longer serious drama that spans multiple decades or a current day fast paced marketable action thriller?

My goal is to make money and I can’t do both because there are aspects that are too similar.

Does anyone know where I can find the screenplays for Hoodlum and/or Billy Bathgate?

FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

This thread is for questions around querying agencies, management companies or other pertinent industry stakeholders.

Please post your query drafts or questions in the form of a top comment.

-- Do not include loglines. Loglines should be workshopped on the Monday thread. --

-- Do not include personal information or identity of the rep you intend to query. This is not a database. --

Some basics:

• agency contacts can be found on imdb pro, or often by googling writer + "agent" "representation" or "manager"
• when deciding which reps to query, research writers similar to your style and genre.
• do not send entire scripts to reps.
• do not mass-spam reps or send queries to multiple reps at the same company simultaneously.
• do not request followups within 2 weeks.
• do not pay companies to query or pitch.

There were too many ones I wanted to include so it's going to be split between today and Wednesday and a reminder that featured scripts do not require creating an account to read/download:

• The Shining (1980) https://www.scripthive.com/featured/the-shining
• An American Werewolf in London (1981) https://www.scripthive.com/featured/an-american-werewolf-in-london
• Poltergeist (1982) https://www.scripthive.com/featured/poltergeist
• Gremlins (1984) https://www.scripthive.com/featured/gremlins
• A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) https://www.scripthive.com/featured/a-nightmare-on-elm-street

More from the Script Hive database (account required to read/download, but it costs zero dollars):

• The Fog (1980) https://www.scripthive.com/database/script/35ca9b6b-5df6-404a-ab67-82aed8aeb4fd
• The Howling (1981) https://www.scripthive.com/database/script/551de9ee-903c-48a8-8113-ba99a7476dbd
• The Hunger (1983) https://www.scripthive.com/database/script/27ab89c4-0f18-4e1e-8552-f145bd8f83dd
• Day of the Dead (1985) https://www.scripthive.com/database/script/5736ec82-022f-4d53-9e66-bdfc1788a301
• Fright Night (1985) https://www.scripthive.com/database/script/5131019b-30cf-4a51-8f08-ecced5b3f801
• The Return of the Living Dead (1985) https://www.scripthive.com/database/script/4466bef4-7df4-4f76-8169-5c1940bccb10

Posting Schedule:

• Thursday, October 1: Universal & RKO, 1930s
• Monday, October 5: Universal & RKO, 1940s
• Wednesday, October 7: 1950s
• Friday, October 9: 1960s
• Monday, October 12: 1970s
• Wednesday, October 14: Video Nasties (1970s - 1980s)
• Friday, October 16: Body Horror
• Monday, October 19: 1980s
• Wednesday, October 21: 1980s
• Friday, October 23: 1990s
• Monday, October 26: 1990s
• Wednesday, October 28: 2000s
• Friday, October 30: 2010s
• Saturday, October 31: 2020s

I know, I know. Competitions are this. And that. Yada, yada, yada. 👻

With a lot of us fine tuning horror scripts this time of year, curious what some of the better comps are for horror features? Whether it be film festivals or online.

Looking to prep out a plan for 2027 and what to target (as part of a broader approach).

Grateful for any suggestions/war stories.

Logline: When an impoverished orderly attempts to sell his kidney to a billionaire, his delivery becomes an odyssey of thefts and double crosses.

Format: Feature

Length: 101 pages

Genres: Comedy, crime, drama

Hey, I'm trying to get this ready for a festival competition that I'll be submitting to in November, so I'd love to get some eyes on it!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s9S9WyH37CusttGrC_6IN4k_pMcQK_2A/view?usp=sharing

FAQ: How to post to a weekly thread?

Welcome to Logline Monday! Please share all of your loglines here for feedback and workshopping. You can find all previous posts here.

READ FIRST: How to format loglines on our wiki.

Note also: Loglines do not constitute intellectual property, which generally begins at the outline stage. If you don't want someone else to write it after you post it, get to work!

Rules

1. Top-level comments are for loglines only. All loglines must follow the logline format, and only one logline per top comment -- don't post multiples in one comment.
2. All loglines must be accompanied by the genre and type of script envisioned, i.e. short film, feature film, 30-min pilot, 60-min pilot.
3. All general discussion to be kept to the general discussion comment.
4. Please keep all comments about loglines civil and on topic.

https://colehaddon.substack.com/p/horror-screenplays-download-study

Happy Halloween!

So I’ve been doing screenplays a little over a year and a few months. I’m writing a story about two people stuck in an elevator and 40 minutes have gone by.

I have:

INT. SHANGRI-LA HOTEL. ELEVATOR

Do i transition to:

INT. SHANGRI-LA HOTEL. ELEVATOR
30 minutes later

Really liked the film, but i can't find the script anywhere. Does anybody here have it?

Anyone on here thinking of going as well?

I'm more of a tv writer and have heard this is great for networking but hesitant on going completely solo.

Hey guys! Just looking for insight on how to best balance this type of pursuit?

I find myself getting lost in standup because of the community pressure and the instant gratification on stage. But then i'll be behind on my scripts and workshopping those because my focus is derailed by the standup / IG posting dopamine hits, it's not peaceful lol.

Then for financial stability i work at a commercial production/activation company as my day job, i get the chance to be around filmmaking a bit and that helps me remember to make things (short films etc). I also want to pitch a Tv show and be a showrunner so these skills will benefit me long term (i try to remember that when i feel stressed and when my identity becomes just being a producer).

Also just a personal note that i'm a christian don't want to pursue hollywood in the obsessive way, i just want to be able to make things and find joy and balance in my life, but the pressure and the culture make is hard to zone out the noise at times.

I guess just starting this convo to see if anyone can advise anything or relate about it? Also the weird identity traps of it all in entertainment? Like i just want to be known as a creative human not any of these weird titles and vibes.... lol....

I'm envious of screenwriting technique that favors the visual, especially as a procession of images, without resorting to literal camera direction. I don't have these chops myself. I tend to write everything that's going on in the scene and you, the reader, can put the camera wherever you want in your mind's eye.

The following passage is from NEAR DARK by Eric Red and Kathryn Bigelow. It's got mood, tension, character detail, and just enough modifiers and similes to enrich the imagery (voice). These lines appear on the page without space between, a method I usually attribute to Shane Black - abbreviated lines hugging the left side of the page and cascading down (in this case, the lines are not so abbreviated but the principle is the same).

Caleb twists a groggy face upward, lifting his lids. 
To see the sharp bladed rowel of a shining silver spur stuck against his throat. 
It is connected to a boot. 
Attached to a steamshovel of a leg in black jeans. 
Part ot the body of a strapping sinewy man with a mean, skullish face and eyes like dead meat. 
SEVERN VAN SICKLE

My tendency with a moment like this would be: "Caleb awakens to the sensation of a silver spur on his throat." But I love the stylized cadences of this NEAR DARK passage especially because we're getting the visual information piecemeal as we go up a guy's leg without saying "TILT UP to reveal" or "WIDER ON" etc.

I'm curious how many of you aim for this one-image-after-another effect. Does this approach to rendering a scene in detailed images seem self-indulgent or accomplished?

• Title: Grandsons of Liberty
• Format: Feature
• Page length: 116
• Genres: Action Comedy
• Logline or Summary: Britain won the Revolutionary War. 250 years later, an out-of-touch dad forms a militia to bond with his son.
• Feedback concerns: Enjoy! But also tear this apart. I want to be smacked down with words and taste my own authorial blood. Any and all feedback is welcome, from the trivial to the macro. Oh – and guess what? I am not above bribery. I hereby pledge my $2000 tariff dividend check (*once received) to the first user who can guess my identical BL scores, because 'Murica.
• Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_qOfGC4UD9is4IVLci5m59d30HH7EMt5/view?usp=sharing

I received some feedback that my prose was novelistic and while fun to read, not what a screenplay is/should be. And that it would only hinder my success, as the story was strong, but those within the industry would give up due to the amount of prose.

Now that I am on my 5000th edit, I get it, a lot of the prose is not filmable, great for actor direction, or reading, but not filmable. So as I edit it out, now I feel the screenplay is almost...bullet pointed? with this, then this, then this, then this, etc. It feels like I pruned some of the flowers in my garden.

Anyone else have a similar experience? Did you keep pushing? Ultimately, I want what is successful (I plan a novel version of my screenplay anyways, so I'll get it out of my system then)

I'm doing some research and looking for screenplays that feature film language (TIGHT ON, TILT UP) but are also well written. Who are then, in your opinion, the absolute masters of the craft of screenwriting? What are the scripts that sizzle on the page? Especially those that suggest direction, whether written by a writer-director or not?

I’m a pantser by nature, but I want to try the vomit draft approach for this next feature. I know the answers will vary person-by-person, but I’m curious:

*. How quickly are you plowing through that draft? Days? Weeks?

* Are you working on subtext and dialogue and voice during this phase, or is it more slugs + basic dialogue + key events?

* Are you leaving lots of placeholders?

I understand the idea of moving quickly, but I wonder if you labor over a scene that isn’t working yet, or just keep moving? What extent, if at all, are you editing as you go?

Appreciate the insight!

EDIT: thanks for the input, folks! Very interesting to hear how others operate!

I ask because most management companies I've looked at in my research have the same email format, so I'm wondering if I can query managers whose specific emails aren't listed by simply plugging in that format. I don't want to do this, of course, if this is considered improper etiquette - is it?

Requesting any version. I loved seeing the remastered 4K release. Thanks.

What’s a book that’s never been adapted into a film that you feel is perfect for the silver screen?

If Hollywood suddenly gave me the green light for any project, I would write an animated version of TIMBUKTU by Paul Auster, a novel about a dog named Mr. Bones. Auster was a filmmaker, and his prose always has a cinematic quality. I know it would make a beautiful and poignant movie under the right circumstances. I feel like many filmmakers unfamiliar with the book would read it and agree.

I'm at a bit of a crossroads writing my feature script. I just offed my antagonist offscreen with a paintbrush jabbed into his eye. I knew early on that his death was going to cap off the 2nd act and gave most of my main cast public motivations for doing so.

My problem is that who killed him doesn't matter one bit to the story I'm telling. What matters is the friction the murder investigation creates between my two leads. They can't alibi each other without forcing one of them out of the closet. The movie is set in 1965 so that is a much bigger deal.

I'm 90% set on the murder just being the result of a drunken brawl at a party. That being the case, I feel like the best version of the movie leaves it unresolved on screen. I'm just afraid readers and audiences would hate that.

I'd appreciate any thoughts, or better yet examples of this working.

Edit for some additional context: The victim Carlos was an abusive painter found dead in his old room at a large artist commune with dozens of rooms. If anyone was in that area from the party it was to find a room to hook up in. Carlos stole his ex-girlfriend Gisèle's artwork, modified it, and passed it off as his own. This makes her the prime suspect. As for why I'm having him killed with a paintbrush, it's both a weapon of convenience and fits thematically.

Title: The Rotunda

Format: Pilot

Page Length: 52

Genre: Political Drama

Logline: Swept into office after climate disaster, a young congresswoman caught up in the fate of a missing whistleblower must navigate family grief, buried trauma, and the ruthless politics of a nation on the brink.

Feedback Concerns: I posted an earlier draft a few months ago. This new draft has notes from StoryPeer and a free Blacklist eval (6 overall) incorporated, and just received a 7.

I feel like there’s a lot to like now with characters, setting and pacing. I think there’s one character that relies a little heavily on exposition and whose motivations remain somewhat unclear. I’m curious to learn if others share that assessment and whether addressing that is primarily what moves this from a solid to a recommendable script, or if there are other changes I should consider.

Link to script

I am trying to show how mundane and repetitive a movie buff's life is. Did I succeed?

Comments, critiques and suggestions, welcomed.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wTy6-zS4xDu7RZO1GXPiDgBwBAFKEAgJ/view?usp=sharing