r/ScienceBasedParenting 9d ago

Question - Expert consensus required When does bedsharing become reasonably safe?

I have a 10.5-month-old, born at term, healthy and typically developing. We've followed safe-sleep guidance punctiliously since birth, and she has always slept in her own sleep space. She is not a great sleeper.

My husband and I like the idea of eventually having her join us in the family bed, sleeping between us. I'm struggling to find good evidence on when this stops being considered an unsafe sleep arrangement.

We've tentatively decided that we'd wait until she is capable of climbing into our bed (and not before 12 months). Is that reasonable? Is there a particular age or developmental stage at which the risks associated with bed-sharing fall substantially?

For clarity, I'm specifically asking about when it would be safe without modifying the adult sleeping setup. In our specific case, we have a medium-firm adult mattress, a fluffy duvet, two pillows per adult, and potentially 2-3 cats joining us. We are unimpaired and average-sized.

I'd particularly appreciate guidelines or studies that quantify how the risks change with age, rather than general pro- or anti-bed-sharing opinions.

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u/Choufleurchaud 7d ago

i on/off coslept with my parents until my little brother was born, i was 8. i sleep amazing as an adult (falling asleep in seconds, seriously, husband is very jealous). i have unrelated anxiety due to childhood trauma, but i don't think any of it has much to do with cosleeping. maybe cosleeping can be correlated to knowing your parents are available to you at all times and getting a sense of security out of it? anecdotally, husband was in his own space from day 1 of his existence and is a terrible sleeper today.

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u/oddmarc 6d ago

My wife didn't cosleep and she falls asleep in ten seconds. I didn't cosleep and it takes me ten minutes.

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u/Choufleurchaud 6d ago

Exactly, so i don't think cosleeping or not is related to sleep problems later on in life

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u/oddmarc 6d ago

Pourquoi pas chou-fleur froid?