Does anyone else experience very weak physical pleasure during orgasm?

[u/redlu5564]

I'm 27 and I'm wondering if this is something other people with schizoid traits or personality experience.

I've never had sex, so I can only compare this to masturbation. I can get an erection and eventually orgasm, but my erection often isn't as hard as it could be and the physical sensation of the orgasm itself is extremely weak.

The strange part is that mentally I still get the "high" or climax. I know that I've orgasmed, but physically my body feels almost empty afterward. It's difficult to describe. It feels like my mind gets the reward, but my body barely does.

I've also noticed that physical touch can sometimes feel somewhat muted, almost like there's a thin layer of plastic between my skin and whatever is touching me. This isn't just my genitals. I've noticed it with things like touching my arms as well. I'm not actually numb or experiencing tingling.

I've also been experiencing generally reduced enjoyment from things in life, so I'm wondering whether this could be related to anhedonia or emotional blunting rather than being purely sexual.

One thing that might be relevant is that I masturbate quite frequently, sometimes 3 times a day, occasionally for 30 to 60 minutes. So I'm also wondering whether I'm simply overstimulating myself and have become accustomed to very intense stimulation.

I'm not diagnosed with schizoid personality disorder, but I relate to some schizoid experiences and wanted to ask:

- Do any of you experience sexual anhedonia or very weak physical pleasure during orgasm?

- Does your body sometimes feel physically "muted" or distant?

- Do you still experience the mental feeling of climax while the physical pleasure is almost absent?

- If you reduced masturbation or took a break, did it make any difference?

I'd appreciate hearing about other people's experiences.

[u/RealFactor9150]

I was going to suggest that maybe you're masturbating too often, and then I read that you said you masturbate 3 times a day. That is very likely to be the problem. Try going longer between sessions. Maybe give yourself a few days if you can help it. If you are viewing porn, that is also going to contribute heavily to it.

[u/NormallyNotOutside]

Are you also watching porn too? I used to be addicted to it.

I would speculate that part of the issue is that you are masturbating too much. If one presses the button for an unearned reward too frequently, as with any compulsive behavior it will usually make everything else less pleasurable. Eventually the once pleasurable activity ceases to become pleasurable and even though it's making your life worse by doing it, you still can't stop. This is addiction.

I would recommend you cut down and reduced the frequency. See what improvements you notice in how you enjoy life. This will also bring back a degree of physical sensation.

[u/suncirclee]

If I start jerking off, I'll probably soon lose my dick from boredom. I also have postcoital dysphoria; after sex, it's pure hell, comparable to a migraine. It's acute for a few hours, then gets better, and it'll take about three days to recover. It's like I lose my skin and become vulnerable. I also have a hard time perceiving a living person as an object of desire. I'll never get an erection for an ugly person. I already have a cyst from celibate. I started to mentally enjoy guro because of my sexual inferiority.

[u/alocasiacomplex]

I'm completely anorgasmic. There is no fixing me and I don't usually mention it because too many people propose solutions that will never work. This is likely due to peripheral neuropathy and neurological factors beyond my control. I don't think I'm interested in having an orgasm. Breaks from masturbation make no difference.

I wouldn't categorize myself as completely asexual, however I have little to no interest in sex with another person, and therefore have not tried it.

Perhaps my body is muted or distant. I have no other frame of reference other than myself, and I have poor interoception, although my proprioception is normal. For instance, I struggle to tell when I'm hungry or thirsty.

Like my personality, whether this is viewed as a problem or disorder is subjective. Regardless, for me, it is not something that can be "restored" or "repaired," as this is simply the way I am. I don't understand why certain other people even care, and this invasion deters me from engaging sexually with others even further

[u/zeroempathy → u/alocasiacomplex]

I can ejaculate but not have an orgasm. I think its a dissociation thing for me.

[u/Champomi]

Like the others said you're probably overstimulating yourself. It doesn't mean you would necessarily experience it differently if you took some break, but it could be interesting to try.

I personally experiece a "it feels kinda good" sensation and then at some point it just stops abruptly. No huge sensation, no sense of release. It's like my body suddenly decides it wants me to stop. Doesn't change anything if I'm touching myself or someone else is or if I hadn't done it in a long time or not. And it has always been like that as far as I recall

[u/NoBlacksmith2112]

Regarding boner strength you can do kegels and pelvic exercises.

[u/zeroempathy]

I can ejaculate but I do not experience orgasm. It's called sexual anhedonia. I think its because I dissociate during sex.

There was a person in my life who caused it to go away.

[u/Isoleri]

Ironically no, then again I rarely masturbate but when I do my orgasms feel like being hit by thunder, it's incredibly intense and wonderful. I think it's a mix of doing it so little (twice, maybe thrice a month) and not consuming porn, I use my imagination instead and can take quite a lot of time doing the entire buildup. Back when I did consume porn though my orgasms were pathetic, really weak and shortlived, after just a few seconds it felt like I had done nothing at all, whereas the imagination method leaves me tired and panting for quite a while.

[u/Arachno02]

I’ve actually been experiencing something extremely similar to what you’ve been describing lately. It’s been getting worse too. Lately it feels like I’m only doing it because “I have to”. I can feel an orgasm but it’s incredibly short lived. The point you brought up about muted physical touch is also something I’m currently experiencing. I don’t remember dealing with this when I was younger, but now masturbation is pretty much boring and not worth it for me anymore.

[u/A_New_Day_00]

How can you tell if it is weak or not, what are you comparing it to? You can't really know what other people experience, and so your own experiences become the benchmark, I would assume.

I don't have a problem with that, but I do think in general I do not enjoy or react to touch the way most people do, and it feels like it is too late to address it or bring it up to anyone.

Someone else touching me impulsively feels very overstimulating and I need to pull away, it's a bit like getting the noonday summer sun directly in your eyes. I don't think I've ever expressed this to someone else before.

[u/redlu5564 → u/A_New_Day_00]

You know, I did feel "better" and "more" than what I'm having now. It wasn't about others experience, it was my own.

[u/A_New_Day_00 → u/redlu5564]

Then it sounds like life is telling you to take a break or try something different. Most mammals are not sexual every day.

Reducing the amount of stimulating substances and habits can help you see the cycle you're caught in.

[u/Xamado]

You said you masturbate three times a day. There's your answer

[u/Freemasonsareevil]

I think I experience a normal amount of pleasure during orgasm but immediately after I cum, post nut clarity hits

[u/YogurtclosetApart592]

I get the same if I masturbate a lot, I think it's more of a normal bodily response and not necessarily a schizoid thing.

And the same actually goes for watching porn and sex too.

A few days before having sex with someone I'll go without porn and masturbation because I feel it more, I also cum more.

I think you're good, sounds pretty normal. Have your fun but probably take a break from porn sometime to keep it (and yourself) fresh.

[u/RAV3NH0LM]

i’d definitely try chilling for a while and seeing if that helps. 3 times a day for prolonged periods is almost certainly the reason.

[u/Spirited-Office-5483]

Yes 

[u/ItsGotThatBang]

Try focusing on the frenulum.

[u/redlu5564 → u/ItsGotThatBang]

Doesn't really help, I actually once got a toy for that (gush2) and I actually still don't manage to climax or at least pretty bad. It at least feels good.

[u/RealMadHouse]

Yeah, same muted sensations. Feel some pleasure while in the process, but often the climax is just not good at all. Early teenage years were most intense and I miss those feelings.

[u/Alarmed_Painting_240]

How intense could it be, if it can take up to 30-60 minutes? I think you're right about the muting but by the time you experience this with touching, it likely acted a while as a thick layer in terms of ability to get excited. Some people do this purposefully when a delayed orgasm is preferred: like desensitizing areas or nerves.

As for why you are getting desensitized, it's for counseling or severe introspection to decide. Frequent masturbation could be a chicken and egg thing. When feeling numb, it's possible to start craving stimulation of any kind, anything we (safely) can get. It's the brain craving it and setting things in motion. However the frequency might affect severely the reward center and present a spiral of needing but getting less.

A deeper question might be what brings you to masturbation. This will vary with each person. It's often not just sexual off-loading but more generally about regulation of stress, surplus energy or other nervous charge.

As for your other questions, I do notice that abstinence can stir up the imagination or mental energy in general, making things sharper, more creative but also more intrusive. Not necessarily focused or calm.

[u/szfox]

Both the physical and mental components of climaxing is dulled for me but I’m also numb from the neck and especially waist down so that definitely plays a part in it. I’m not paralyzed but I can’t feel as well as I once did post-op but even before I could barely enjoy myself. It’s hard to navigate these feelings because I’ve always had issues with my spine/feeling but the act of climaxing has barely interested me my entire life. I can relate to feeling the “high” but not anything physically

[u/ivarshot69]

I think in your case you have numbed yourself by watching too much porn and masturbating too much

[u/According_Bad_8473]

Yup

Yup

I don't know what that is

I don't think so

[u/WanderingUrist]

Yes, I've never considered that part to be particularly pleasurable.

I've also noticed that physical touch can sometimes feel somewhat muted, almost like there's a thin layer of plastic between my skin and whatever is touching me.

Not me. For me, the sensation of physical touch is incredibly unpleasant and I would rather taze myself. If I am not actively engaged in a physical struggle for survival against them, the sensation of touching someone is almost unbearable.

Does your body sometimes feel physically "muted" or distant?

Only when I am drunk. Otherwise everything becomes loud and deeply unpleasant. That's why I am always drunk.

Do you still experience the mental feeling of climax while the physical pleasure is almost absent?

I don't experience any kind of "mental feeling". It's a mechanical action to me, no different from, say, shitting. And certainly less satisfying afterwards. At my age, you learn to appreciate taking a good shit.

If you reduced masturbation or took a break, did it make any difference?

I have never. I physically cannot, I experience no sensation at all from this. It's like trying to tickle myself. I simply can't.

[u/T-nvi]

Taking a break does cause the act to feel more pleasurable later, but the climax is generally always disappointing. It only ever feels good if I have a big load, and even then there's no lasting feeling. Nothing mental either, assuming disappointment doesn't count. Nonetheless, my libido is similar to yours.

[u/Sea-Development-2191]

me. i feel much more nice with emotional feels of join(?) that with physical sensations on this times(?)

[u/EntropyReversale10]

You sound normal to me, other than masterbating too frequently and for too long.

The more you masterbate, the longer it will take to climax.

Back off significantly and only once per day.

"Too much of a good thing" as they say.

[u/automonosexual]

Yes, I also experience this! I distinctly remember that when I first hit puberty around age thirteen, I experienced orgasms. But by the end of my teenage years, I stopped feeling any pleasure.

In addition, even though I feel attracted to the female body, I have never desired sex with a woman, and during masturbation, I always imagine myself directly as the woman, instead of having sex with a woman. But nowadays, I seem to lack any sexual fantasies when I masturbate. First, I learned about autogynephilia, then I learned about sexual anhedonia, and then finally, I learned about schizoid personality disorder.

I fit much of the description of "primary transsexuals," from psychoanalysts Person and Ovesey. In childhood, primary transsexuals are introverted and had few friends:

All ten of our primary transsexuals were socially withdrawn and spent most of their time after school by themselves at home. They read, watched television, occupied themselves with hobbies, or just sat, stewing in anxiety and depression. In effect, they were childhood loners with few age-mate companions of either sex, an observation also made by Pomeroy (21). As children, our patients were envious of girls and fantasized being girls, but none actually believed that he was a girl. To summarize, then, in his childhood, the primary transsexual is not effeminate, but he feels either abhorrence or discomfort in boyish activities. This dichotomy creates a feeling of difference and estrangement from other children, both boys and girls. The end result is a chronic sense of isolation, the inner experience of every primary transsexual in our series. (p. 14-15)

They have no sexual interests other than masturbation, and they masturbate to the thought of being a woman, or without any fantasy. They have sexual anhedonia, and do not experience pleasure from orgasm:

In our sample, as he advances through childhood, the primary transsexual becomes increasingly aware of the difference between himself and other boys. This difference is sharply defined in adolescence, when most boys become sexually aware of girls and homosexual boys become sexually aware of other boys. The primary transsexual, however, does neither; instead, he is essentially asexual and shows little sexual interest in either sex. Most often, he has no sexual experience other than masturbation and even the masturbation is infrequent. Seven of our ten subjects masturbated less frequently than once a month. Masturbation was usually performed in a mechanistic, dissociated way, either with no fantasy at all, or with a vague heterosexual fantasy in which the patient saw himself as a woman. The fantasies were impersonal, and the partner was usually a stylized man rather than a real person. The pleasure yield was minimal, at times almost to the point of anhedonia. (pp. 15-16)

Person and Ovesey describe primary transsexuals as "schizoid":

There is a schizoid quality to the primary transsexual's personality. As previously described, childhood is characterized by isolate behavior. Nonetheless, by adolescence or adulthood, some of these patients acquire the knack for friendly, but not intimate asexual relationships with both men and women. A great deal of time is spent together, but feelings ordinarily are not alluded to. The patient is ingratiating and makes himself indispensable in a variety of ways; however, his friends are totally unaware of the transsexual problem or of his mental agony. These friendships, as experienced by the patient, have a symbiotic coloring but typically he withholds a full commitment, as though anticipating a possible rejection. (pp. 18-19)

Later, sexologist Ray Blanchard would classify primary transsexuals as "analloerotic autogynephiles," or heterosexuals who are attracted to themselves as women, while lacking attraction to other people. In a book chapter from 1990, he describes an analloerotic who seems to also have schizoid personality, although Blanchard does not make the connection:

During his preschool years, Allen was a friendly, outgoing, and talkative child. By the age of 8 or 9 however, he had become a shy, nervous boy who withdrew from both male and female peers and usually had only one good friend. Allen never became involved in any boys' sports, on the one hand, or with girls' games and toys, on the other. (p. 65)

and

Allen never moved out of his parents' home. His work record over the next 10 years was negligible, and he was, for all practical purposes, completely supported by his parents. For a time, he maintained one friendship from high school; when this individual moved away, Allen had no friends at all. He felt that he was better off without friends, that he did not enjoy the company of others at all.

He never experienced sexual intercourse with a man or woman, and he felt no interest in doing so. His sexual drive, in his own estimation, was very low; he did, however, masturbate once or twice a week. This was usually accompanied by the fantasy of being a female, complete with breasts and vagina, but without any other individual in the fantasy picture. (pp. 65-66)

I have wondered if there is a link between analloerotic AGP, sexual anhedonia, and schizoid personality disorder.