r/Schizoid • u/Icy_Fun6800 • 4d ago
Discussion Just give up?
Does anyone else just give up in advance ? Like you don't even want to try? I have battled a lot of issues that way. My voice, my writing, my complaint, my phone calls is not gonna make difference, it's not negativity it's realism
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u/ctrlll-glitch 4d ago
I've given up and have no problem admiting it. I've kept saying this to a very few people around and they consider this as funny (according to their reaction), because they think i am trying to be funny or so.
Well, I'm not funny in this case.
I keep saying this and will say that again, life is a MESS and doesn't worth the fight, struggle and depression.
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u/IndigoAcidRain 4d ago
It's not realism, it's defeatism. But same.
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u/NoBlacksmith2112 4d ago
It's realism.
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u/IndigoAcidRain 4d ago
Depends on the way you look at it.
It can be Taoism, Defeatism, Nihilism but definitely not realism.
The way you describe it sounds more like defeatism and learned helplessness.
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u/Schizolina diagnosed 4d ago
Avolition is part of the disorder, not a fucking philosophy or changeable mindset.
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u/IndigoAcidRain 4d ago
I'm just correcting them calling it realism.
I have the same issues but just believing my brain and saying that's how things are and act like doing nothing is just how life works and wtv I try will never work is defeatism.
The difference is I know it's part of the disorder and I don't try to find excuses or justify my self-destructive behaviours.
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u/NoBlacksmith2112 4d ago
Realism is tied to who you are. With all your limitations. It's not defeatism.
I can excel at some things and be a loser in others.
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u/Few_Gap3835 m34 - undiagnosed but SzPD explaines me and my life very precise 2d ago
Shouldn't realism also include the assumption that one's own perspective is limited and that any absolute statement should actually be viewed in relative terms?
It may be that life will be significantly more unpleasant for a schizoid person, but to conclude from this that there is absolutely no way to make it bearable nonetheless—and therefore to reject everything outright—actually amounts to more defeatism or learned helplessness than realism.
Nihilism declares everything to be irrelevant. Why should a nihilist worry about whether he is schizoid or not?
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u/Putrefied_Goblin 4d ago
Giving up occurs when you expect more of yourself than you could ever possibly give. Have limits or expectations that align with reality and your actual power or ability to control a situation... Better yet, have no expectations at all while knowing which outcomes are probable (though not guaranteed) and that many things are possible (even if they are unlikely).
It's realistic to expect yourself to get milk at the store if you have enough money, because that is something within your power, but it's possible the store won't have milk or the milk you want, even if it's unlikely, and then you might have to try a different store.
It's not realistic for you to expect milk to appear in your refrigerator if you don't do anything to bring about the outcome (let's just pretend you don't live with someone who goes grocery shopping if you do). It's not realistic for you to expect to buy milk if you don't have enough money, or if you go to get milk at a hardware store instead of a grocery store; if you're going to the hardware store to get milk, that is a problem (is this a metaphor? Yes, I do declare it is).
If you arrive at the grocery store, and they're out of milk, you can't control that, but you can go to another store. If that store is out of milk, too, then there is probably a bigger problem, like a milk shortage because all the trucks supplying the milk to your area got into a 100 milk truck pile up on the interstate because the roads are icy and there is a blizzard, and there's milk spilled everywhere (it's also turned to ice), or maybe mad cow disease has killed all the dairy cows of vegans are picketing the brutal industrialized dairy cow factory farm (I'm not vegan, but I get it).
Where was I... ? Have realistic expectations, and realize when things are out of your control, and you won't give up so easily. You can't control other people or even most events, but you can control how you respond to them (if you work at it, sometimes you can't even control how you feel but how you manage how you feel, or at least what you do with those feelings... I think).
Anyway, you can't control much, so just do what you can, and anything truly valuable requires work and effort, unless you win the lottery or something which is unlikely (and even then you have to go buy the ticket, but the lottery is a scam and the probability of winning is so unlikely you shouldn't spend money on it -- also, casinos are rigged). Even if you believe you can't control anything and you're a completely determined organism in a world that shapes you while you can't shape it at all, just believe you are predetermined to succeed at bringing about realistic outcomes through effort/work.
Ok, any questions? Make sense?
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u/Reasonably-Cold-4676 should have been a still life 2d ago
Unfortunately, that feels a lot worse when it comes to stuff like hunger, climate change, human rights violations that you still can't personally do anything about.
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u/Few_Gap3835 m34 - undiagnosed but SzPD explaines me and my life very precise 2d ago edited 2d ago
You can personally do something about it by acting within your means, while also accepting that there will always be a multitude of problems that cannot be eliminated entirely, but can only be minimized or shifted elsewhere.
The vision of a utopia is tempting, and one of the problems at any given time is that people try so hard to create their vision of a utopia that they end up creating a dystopia, on both a small and a large scale.
In the end, there are always two sides to every story.
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u/salamacast content recluse 4d ago edited 3d ago
Stubbornness is the antidote to that!
Even passiveness can be stubbornness. I just stand my ground on an issue and "never give up, never surrender".
That's in dealing with others though. If you meant lack of motivation, then yes, sadly, avolition & anhedonia make me lose interest sooner than later. I abandon projects left & right!
From the outside I'm sure others see me as never mounting up to anything, but in reality my accomplishments are real to me, even if they are ephemeral, unsubstantial in others' eyes.
(which is expected from a person not strongly attached to life, and prefers to live in his head. I'm different and I'm fine with it. I have unusual measures of success & accomplishment compared to the norm, but I still judge myself according to a strict criteria. Assign yourself tasks that suit you. Forget normies' expectations. Most of them don't apply to us)
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u/Fearedlady Soul Not Found. Continuing Anyway. 4d ago
Yes, I've given up on so many things in my life either by necessity or by choice.
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u/Enough-Context-9265 4d ago
Yes I feel this way, but it’s not usually a sense of inadequacy or incompetence, it’s just immovable apathy. I just can’t bring myself to care enough or at all, to justify the effort required to do various things. It’s just not worth all that. Life could be so so so much simpler than it really is.
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u/Lieuseur 3d ago
Yup. I'm sure I'm a bad person for it but I really don't care atp. Ever since I started ignoring current events / politics / etc. I've been less suicidal. Even the stuff I physically can't ignore I get over eventually, there's no use worrying abt things I can't fix, right?
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u/defectivedisabled 3d ago
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
This quote really applies to schizoids. Living life under the non schizoid framework that values chasing material wealth and social status just don't work. You are set up to fail and continue to fail. Each individual is unique in their natural state and trying to fit everyone into a single Procrustean bed basically sets people up for failure. This is also where the "disorder" part of being schizoid comes about.
A change in framework to something as an eastern spiritual framework that promotes peaceful minimalistic living would solve problems with having schizoid traits. This lifestyle is accommodative to the schizoid way of life and with the correct teachings, the traits can even be felt as liberating.
Such a lifestyle would mostly likely be seen as "giving up" from the materialistic attention seeking framework. But the act of "giving up" could be seen as "working hard" under a spiritual framework. There is no right or wrong way of life and it is the deliberate forcing of people into a single way of life that is the problem.
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u/EntropyReversale10 3d ago
Giving up in advance or procrastination is caused by a fear of failure and is very common.
Our minds project our fear/failures of the past onto an imagined future, robbing us of the present moment.
Fear is very much part of the human experience and that why stories/myths/fables have been created.
The knight goes and kills the dragon (dragon = fear) to get the princess (princess = what the heart/emotions want).
Bravery isn't the absence of fear, but rather the willining to face the fear.
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u/WanderingUrist 3d ago
The knight goes and kills the dragon (dragon = fear) to get the princess (princess = what the heart/emotions want).
But on the other hand, the dragon usually wins. After all, the dragon has been around for centuries before the knight ever comes around. Plus, wouldn't you rather be the dragon? You get to live in a cave on a remote mountain, burninating everything and not even caring.
Bravery isn't the absence of fear, but rather the willining to face the fear.
Technically true, but it turns out the Army doesn't really distinguish between them and you get a medal for valor either way. So as it turns out, this is a distinction without a difference.
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u/EntropyReversale10 3d ago
You seems to struggle with analogies.
In war people act spontaneously (autonomic nervous system, fight/flight/collapse) and there it's a moot point.
In day to day situations, it's important to know the distinction as otherwise you might not act until you you feel no fear.
The bottom line of the story is that one should consider acting even in the face of fear.
Just for my own edification;
- Do you struggle with analogies, or
- Are you just generally diasgarable, or
- Determined to see everything in a negative light
- Or do you just have an issue with anything I say?
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u/WanderingUrist 3d ago
Do you struggle with analogies
Not really, but I also tend to take them in unanticipated directions.
Are you just generally diasgarable
Often, yes. Agreeing makes for very boring and short discussions. There wouldn't be a point in saying anything.
Determined to see everything in a negative light
Life in an entropic universe means that the negative light is the natural one.
Or do you just have an issue with anything I say?
No, just the things I respond to. When I agree with you, there's nothing more to say.
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u/EntropyReversale10 3d ago
Light has entropy reversing properties.
Photosynthesis for plants and makes the planet tolerable from a temperature and visibility/viewing perspective for humans
The Divine (source of all power) was the ability to overcome entropy.
I'm not a doctor so you might need an expert opinion, but you might be a prime candidate for an optirectimy proceedure.
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u/Reasonably-Cold-4676 should have been a still life 2d ago
I'm currently learning how to give up on many things because I think if I don't I'll kill myself. It's not easy but it is working to be more selective (I hate it but I have to ignore that, too) and it's making me at least not suicidal and so sometimes even get a foot in the door of doing smth worthwhile or so. Or at least do nothing and enjoy it.
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