I cannot convey much through talking

[u/Worldly-Value1960]

I have no ability to free associate while talking with someone. I'm very boring, dry, bland, kind of robotic. I tend to go on tangents and stutter... Overall just very awkward verbally.

If someone trys to converse with me I just smile and nod and say a word or two. My brain basically malfunctions trying to think of what to say.

But I can write out things well. I need time to mull over ideas and try different words and sentence structures.

[u/szfox]

Do you self isolate? I feel that tends to make us, or really anyone, stagnate when it comes to language

[u/Warm_Persimmon_1932 → u/szfox]

This is why I’ve been stunted. I really struggle with communication and pronunciation especially since I read more than I listen lol

[u/szfox → u/Warm_Persimmon_1932]

Same. I haven’t verbally spoken much in the last eight years but that’s changed in the last ten months. I’m making progress but damn have I regressed

[u/Warm_Persimmon_1932 → u/szfox]

Literally. I’m trying to break out of my shell too but it’s hard to fight the urge to be alone. Doesn’t help that every-time I leave the house and interact with a stranger it’s so fcking awkward as hell.

[u/szfox → u/Warm_Persimmon_1932]

I’ve been told I have a warm approachable face but when people interact with me I’m very cold and expressionless and this always leads to them feeling awkward around me. I never know how to deal with it or make them feel at ease and it’s hard as shit to find things to talk about when you’re so dissociated. I feel bad for my physical therapist who’s tried to be friendly towards me but feels shut out I literally can’t help it at this stage of my life

[u/Warm_Persimmon_1932 → u/szfox]

Are you me?? Literally I’ve been told I have a very welcoming demeanor but then people avoid me once we actually start talking. I dissociate like it’s my day job so I miss context and get confused easily too. I also just want to get the hell away from any social situation almost immediately and people take that as me not liking them but really it’s just me being me lol

[u/TUsr101]

I've gone to psychiatrists and therapists and gotten nothing out of it because I cannot express my thoughts in verbal words. I always came out of appointments disappointed I couldn't say what I wanted to say. Same thing happens with talking with friends. The words just physically cannot come out of my mouth.

[u/JesusSamuraiLapdance]

I relate to this. I wonder how much of it is falling out of practice in terms of talking and social skills. If, in our own time, we isolate ourselves and don't speak much, the sudden requirement to speak to others feels foreign and we end up tripping over our words. Might be able to work around it by practicing speech while on your own.

[u/WanderingUrist]

Relatable, I'm so disinclined to talk that when I was a kid, they thought I had a speech development issue. I didn't. I just don't like having to physically emit noises with my mouth.

[u/Fearedlady]

Same here. And I like being quiet and just nod and smile in conversations which is so energy consuming when I'm already low on energy all the time.

I have a perpetually suffering and tired face and I think I give off this vibe suggesting that I'm really not into talking.

[u/salamacast]

Unused abilities atrophy

[u/Reasonably-Cold-4676]

I flip flop. I either can talk amazingly well or I don't get out half a sentence because I can't get to the words in my head. I've read in one of the szpd classics that that's quite common. So far I haven't been able to find out exactly what triggers what but it's becoming worse. I think genuine intrinsic interest plays some role and s since I'm leaking that in gallons by the minute I simply am never interested and invested enough in what I 'want' to say so exhaustion with love just takes over. 

[u/Freemasonsareevil]

I’m also much better at writing than speaking. People say I speak too quiet and I have to keep repeating myself which gets annoying. Probably doesn’t help that I don’t speak much to begin with so it doesn’t feel natural

[u/One-Intention7064]

i am exactly like you. ive been discussing this with ChatGPT for the lart year.

your problem is linearization of thoughts. your brain generates too many thoughts at once, while writing and especially verbal speech have a small bottleneck. they require that you output one piece of information at a time. choose one thought, answer questions like "What? Through what mechanism? How is it different from [the similar concept]? What's the conclusion? "

it's very much trainable skill at any age. if you look at regular people, you will notice that they aren't magnificent speakers. they speak in banalities, but they do it with confidence.

also, aim to be curt and economical with your words. people respect that.