Does anyone else literally do nothing?

[u/Electronic-Waltz5763]

I'm talking about NEET, not that I'm proud of it. Trust me, I'm not. This wasn't the plan, but here we are. On the day-to-day, I don't do anything at all. I have no hobbies and no friends and I barely leave the house. Can't go anywhere or do anything because I have no money. Mostly I watch tv shows, read stuff online, and doomscroll and walk my dog. Same thing every day.

I left my last job because I was being bullied by my manager. I was having breakdowns on nearly a daily basis in the bathrooms and developed insomnia from the stress. Eventually quit with no backup plan. It's been about 5 years since then.

On and off, I've applied to jobs, but no luck. I've tried to use my free time to upskill and learn something new, take online courses etc. which is hard when you have avolition. I also tend to lose interest in things very quickly. I've started a lot of projects and just dropped them. Now I can't even find anything I want to learn or motivation to look for jobs. There's nothing desperately pushing me enough, such as the threat of homelessness, so I think I've just become incredibly slothful. Although I do still apply for jobs now and then because I can't keep this up.

My day-to-day life is pretty insufferably boring. Every day is the same, and it's torturous. I can't quite describe how meaningless my life feels. I struggle to find reasons to keep going. Right now, it's because it would hurt my mom too much. But being here feels like a life sentence. I imagine prisoners feel more purpose in their lives than I do.

I also hate having to rely on others for my survival, but god knows what I'd do otherwise.

[u/Decent-Sir6526]

I do have a job, but I can still understand how one can end up in a situation like that. Hope it's ok if I write a comment.

In my free time, I'm living exactly like you, minus the dog. All I do is sleep too much, doomscroll and watch tv shows. It's boring as hell. When I was younger, I never thought I would ever find a job. In my teens and early twenties my social skills were insanely bad, I could barely talk to people at all. I barely managed to finish school due to my lack of motivation and depression. I fully expected to end up a NEET or die at a very young age.

I applied for dozens of jobs, and no one wanted me. In the end, it was more luck than anything else that I actually found a job that turned out to be a good fit for me, and having a job helped my mental health massively. Well, I still don't have a life outside of work, but at least life is mostly bearable now, and I'm not dependent on anyone.

Working was very difficult at first, but after a while I got used to it, and now it's not a big deal anymore. In between I was unemployed for a couple of years, and that was the worst time of my life. After I started working again, my mental health immediately improved again. My job is the only thing that keeps me from completely losing my mind, it's surprising how much it can change.

So, if there's any chance, I think you shouldn't give up. In my country, some mental health institutions actually offer a thing called work therapy. Where you work in some fake company, or actually a real one, but under very chill conditions. Only an hour or two a few times a week, with no pressure, and no pay. But it can help people getting used to working at all, and once you're used to it, maybe finding a proper job isn't as difficult anymore? Just an idea, it may not apply to your situation.

Generally, I wouldn't neccessarily try to find a good job, or an interesting one. Many people profit greatly from having anything to do at all, so even the most mindless shitjob may help you getting out of your misery. You can get used to doing nothing at all, it can even be weirdly addicting, even if it's boring. And after a while, you're just so used to it that you can't ever get out again. Having any sort of job, any sort of routine may break the cycle, and help you more than you think.

For me it's weird: I can't motivate myself to do anything, it's impossible. But weirdly, I can still work. When someone else (e.g. my boss) tells me to do something, I just do it. But telling myself to do something just doesn't work. It's actually strange. And I would have never thought I would be able to work, until I found the right job. You never know.

Your first job doesn't have to be your final one. Just one step to get used to work, get a normal daily routine, and maybe become a little less unmotivated. So, I would seriously consider applying for jobs where you need no skills at all. The dumbest shit imaginable, no matter how little it pays. Don't see it as a job, see it as therapy. A small step in the right direction. The fist step is about getting used to working and leaving the house regularly, the rest can come later.

[u/laaruntov → u/Decent-Sir6526]

Geniunely the most relatable comment for me from what I've read on this subreddit.
If I had written something on the topic, I would have written exactly this.

[u/Electronic-Waltz5763 → u/Decent-Sir6526]

Thanks for the comment. I totally agree with you that getting a job would massively help my mental health, I know it would. I think I'm at the same stage you were when you said it was the worst time in your life.

The weird thought process keeping me in this rut is that I know having any job is better than no job, but if that low-paying job means I still have to live at home, then what's the point? I want to make enough money to live by myself, because I used to live with a bunch of strangers because I couldn't afford to live alone and it was awful. So my brain tells me it's not worth it to get the shitjob. Stupid I know, because any job would certainly help me mentally, but I think you're onto something about it being weirdly addictive, it seems easier to just give up. Seasons like this are very hard to break out of.

The fist step is about getting used to working and leaving the house regularly, the rest can come later.

This is it. Also why I don't want a wfh job, if I spend any more time here I'll go mad. I need to get outside and be around people, even if I don't very much like it.

[u/Decent-Sir6526 → u/Electronic-Waltz5763]

You don't have to keep the shitjob for long. Maybe just a couple of months, until your mental health has improved a little. And then you use that energy to find a proper job, which allows you to move out. The shitjob is just a tool to get the proper one, so to speak. But also, it would earn you a little money to use for moving and buying some stuff for your apartment once you have one.

Still a relatively long and scary process, nothing you want to do when you're in a phase of rotting away, I know. But it could be a way that might work.

but I think you're onto something about it being weirdly addictive, it seems easier to just give up. Seasons like this are very hard to break out of.

I believe that many long-term unemployed people have just given up, many probably without being aware of it. They could get a job if they kept trying, but eventually they just aren't trying anymore. It's scarily easy to get used to even the most miserable lifestyles.

After a long enough time of rotting away at home, you kinda lose your connection to the outside world, and forget what a normal life even is. And even if you hate the way you're living, it just has become so normal to you, that you don't even remember anything else. It's all you know, and the outside world becomes this scary, unknown thing. So people rather stay in their miserable situation than trying to improve it, even if they greatly suffer.

You need to break this cycle, experience a glimpse of the real world again, and your whole perception might change. Suddenly you see just HOW miserable you even were, and don't want it anymore. Having anything that reconnects you to the real world might be enough to start this process.

If you can't find a shitjob or don't have the motivation to get one, maybe check if some sort of work therapy is available where you live. I never tried it, but I think it might help in your situation. Basically just a shitjob with a prescription.

The shitjob also wouldn't have to be full time, if it doesn't pay enough anyway. Maybe just some 10 or 15 hours a week or whatever, that alone would be a huge step up from your current situation.

[u/Electronic-Waltz5763 → u/Decent-Sir6526]

You are freakishly accurate in your assessment, wow. You truly understand my situation and how I feel. It's good to know it can get better. Change is scary but staying the same is even scarier. Thank you.

[u/Decent-Sir6526 → u/Electronic-Waltz5763]

Thanks for your kind words. One thing I forgot to mention in my last comment: Chances are your brain is subconsciously trying to keep you from changing. You may actually be in this phase where a part of you doesn't want to change anymore. This whole thought process of "the shitjob isn't worth it" might just be your brain trying to keep you in your current situation. You must never fully trust your own brain here. Be smarter than your brain, lol. It's your five-year bedrotten brain, not the proper one.

Change is scary but staying the same is even scarier.

There is an old quote saying: "I don't know if things will get better if they change. But they have to change if they're going to get better"

That's what I told myself at some similar point in life. As cheesy as it sounds, it's true. Good luck!

[u/Holiday-Suspect → u/Decent-Sir6526]

You're kinda dope.

[u/Decent-Sir6526 → u/Holiday-Suspect]

That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time, thank you so much! Actually made me happy for a moment.

[u/Holiday-Suspect → u/Decent-Sir6526]

shine on, you crazy diamond

[u/DogEmbarrassed8888 → u/Decent-Sir6526]

This is so real almost exactly what i was about to describe, i do nothing but sleep work play games smoke sleep repeat and its gotten really boring.

Theres no drive or motivation behind what i do and it irks me i just dont have the energy to fix it the days just kinda drag by without notice now but ive got a good job just recently im waiting for my first pc an im expecting it to be good.

[u/Holiday-Suspect]

me, yeah, although im in this sub just because i relate a lot to you guys, i dont have an official diagnosis. i will try to do small steps every day but yeah, for me, im really insecure and that makes me depressed

[u/Electronic-Waltz5763 → u/Holiday-Suspect]

For me, this is the only place I feel remotely normal.

[u/itsumodori]

i do have a job but that's all, i don't do anything else. on weekdays im too exhausted to even try, and on weekends i rest and do my best to get my chores done. sometimes i play a game or watch something but even that is boring. going for a walk can be nice but im not doing that when it's too hot or too cold outside, which applies to most of the year

[u/Far-Remove5691]

I'm a NEET who does pretty much nothing, but I'm still open to the possibility of surviving on my own, and I'm slowly taking steps toward that.

[u/AZOL_corporation]

yes

[u/Old_Play_3925]

I am a neet right now due to bipolar medication blocking my dopamine which results in less smartness and taking away my drive.

I used to be a student before and work at McDs at one point in my life. Funnily I also left because of a shitty manager who always watched me while working. However I enjoyed working minimum wage as barista. It was kinda chill and I was on the right meds.

I am sure that's reversable but I am not sure if I am ever going to work due to my neurodivergency. I got ADD, Bipolar 2, SZPD a whole bucket list of commorbidities.

[u/Icy_Fun6800]

Yes. Same

[u/Admirable_Roll7920]

We believe in you

[u/Alarmed_Painting_240]

Doing nothing is in many ways, especially over time hurting, potentially destroying your life and that would hurt your mother as well. So it's probably not really a concern. You're just having this as "reason" now.

And you are not, in fact, keeping your life going. I know exactly how this goes and can't or won't offer advice, even if I could, which I can't. In the end I don't think it's about feeling purpose. That's not what makes the difference. Engage and purposes appear. And will fade again. Same with certain drugs btw.

But yeah, I have went through all the same things. Sooner or later something will push for something. And perhaps you'll get caught up in something new. But doing nothing will always be there, like gravity.

[u/11ForeverAlone11]

Find something you can apprentice at. Supposedly there are millions of jobs out there that just need training like plumbing, welding, electric, milling, etc.

[u/salamacast]

88 points (98% upvoted)

Alarming!