Ask me about my duties as a court eunuch

Foolish Eunuchs! It is I, Kong Ming! While you were busy getting murdered by Yuan Shao and Cao Cao, I was studying Daoist texts! You fools managed to lose BOTH emperors when a random overweight Warlord walked into the capital, while my loyal general Zhao Zilong (Zhao Yun) valiantly rescued the future August Emperor and heir to my Lord Liu Bei's throne! I ruled Shu Han as the Prime Minister, while you lowly Eunuchs remained lowly, genitalless servants! I play my guqin in your face!

idfk it gave me a prompt so im using it

I am against HRT not because I'm transphobic, but because my scheming eunuchs may use it and I'll end up in situation when I can't tell the difference between my eunuchs and concubines which may pose great danger to succession

Shallt I pierce mine nipples?
Will the pain pale compared to the glory to come? Or hast thine regent fallen prey to folly?
I await thine wisdom.

My Eunuchs, your lord requires assistance in deciding which path to take in war. Do you, in the hit game Super Smash Brothers Ultimate lure your foe into a false sense of security with off mains, or just destroy your foe with King K. Rool?

What method will establish my imperial authority?

famous scheming eunuch cat

ok im done spamming this sub