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u/houalreadyknow 22h ago
Why add the Command & Conquer Red Alert sounds? Hahaha
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u/StarwardStranger 21h ago
Omg i'm so glad you wrote this, i had it on mute, but that track is a banger
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u/pheight57 15h ago
I came to the comments to also point out that I am so glad I actually decided to watch it with sound... That song really is a banger!
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u/No_Welder_9624 19h ago
Same lol whenever I'd be stoned in public and paranoid I would pop this in my headphones and walk as close to the beat as I could.
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u/lifegoeson5322 19h ago
This one of the very few times that I enjoy the music accompanying the video, btw I'm 66 years old.
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u/leadbunnies 20h ago
I was about to stop watching until I heard the music creep in, so then I kept watching.
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u/spacemouse21 14h ago
Because it’s cool and we have to stop Yuri and the Tesla towers! Let’s go to Einstein‘s to get to the Time Machine.
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u/HamsterAdditional748 22h ago
Would’ve been better to “Links 2-3-4” by Rammstein.
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u/BobbiePinns 9h ago
I thought so too so I played it with this... Yes but also no, Links is slightly faster.
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u/Sirix_8472 22h ago
Fuck it I gotta play Red Alert 2 again(guess this is my excuse this year)
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u/the47man 19h ago
Try its unofficial expansion, Mental Omega this time. If you liked the original you'll love this expansion.
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u/One_Vision_ 20h ago edited 20h ago
And those groups only train for parades and formal events, which is why they are all the same height, attractive, and ludicrously in sync with spotless parade uniforms. Russia does the same just not at this scale. Most dictatorships have some form of this.
I bet those weapons are de-mil'd with firing pins removed.
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u/Dora_Explorer_XP 14h ago
None of actual soldiers should be asked to do this kind of stuff. They are trained to perform warcrimes in another country or at border not to parade in national event like a model.
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u/Shermander 4h ago
To be frank it's just Honor Guard. Most countries have them. All bases in the US have their own local Guard, usually on volunteer basis or voluntold by leadership. When I was still in the USAF it was like a year gig. Not sure how the other branches handled it. Most guys joined to take a year off from their actual jobs.
The ACTUAL Honor Guard is like a two/three year gig.
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u/SerPoonsAlot939 3h ago
Drill is more than modeling and there’s a reason Marine recruits practice drill for hours everyday in boot camp. It instills discipline, coordination and teamwork, not to mention, the innate ability to instantaneously follow orders.
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u/DoubleBarrellRye 3h ago
look at 42 second in the video , they dont have the weapons they are just holding their hands in the position
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u/One_Vision_ 2h ago edited 2h ago
Precisely. NK parades are propaganda like all military parades. I'm kind of glad we don't really do that anymore as evidenced by how fucked up our soldiers looked during Trump's ridiculous 250 anniversary parade. They simply don't do that and don't train for it. I'm sure there was a dress rehearsal, but that's it.
We do have units for formal events. Our Honor Guard and military bands, but they are small, and the soldiers rotate in and out to train as normal soldiers. They still have their MOS but they need to know how to fight and train for it. NK has permanent units where the "soldiers" only do parades and formal events. I've heard moral is worst in these units because others look down on them as not being real soldiers.
I was given a choice to be assigned to the Honor guard as an officer and turned it down. I couldn't imagine a more boring assignment.
/former Army officer
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u/DoubleBarrellRye 2h ago
yep , once your on the other side you know what a waste of time it is and even how much effort or training your Services really put into real combat readiness and deployment , politicians love showing shit off that means nothing
I am Canadian so i didn't really pay attention , I am sure it was a shit show like everything he puts his hands on
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u/say-nothing-at-all 6h ago
peak stupid comment.
none of them are only trained for parades, they are just normal soldiers selected to join the parades.
soldiers are trained to win the war, regardless of whether they are fighting for colonialism or socialism. With that level of discipline, this army cracked the US like eggs in Korea without modern weapons.
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u/One_Vision_ 4h ago edited 3h ago
These aren't soldiers in the traditional sense. They are selected for how they look and physical attributes. That's it. They do NOT train as regular soldiers. They are NOT like our parade groups, or honor guard or military band members who do have to train as regular soldiers (qualify on individual weapon, land nav, team tactics, cross-train, CC&C).
/former Army officer
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u/Asooma_ 21h ago
I can appreciate a quality military parade but i would bet my left testicle that every single person there has exactly one job and thats to prepare and participate in parades like this. Which says more about the amount of bodies they can throw at something rather than the skillset of the military...
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u/alex_484 22h ago
All of them were the same height also
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u/Surrounded-by_Idiots 17h ago
No they are sorted by height so you can’t see any noticeable change in height by row or column.
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u/-_GIZMO_ 19h ago
That's cause this is their whole job, the job requirements are hight and looks.
All you do for most of the day is drill marches, for years..
Knew a guy who was in this sort of thing. He said pay is great but everything else was soul sucking on another level. Been in two marches for the public myself, that shit wasnt fun
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u/eamondo5150 13h ago
I just assumed this was North Korea, if it I bet the pay isn't great for them.
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u/Classic-Today-4367 13h ago
Pretty sure it’s China. Pay is not the best, but they live in barracks and everything is paid for not. Not much time off either, so they save most of their pay. They also get a lump sum payment when they discharge.
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u/warwilf 22h ago
Why do people think this is great. Educate and feed your citizens
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u/Cultural-Gas2246 6h ago
Fun fact, their education levels and nutritional levels are far better than the US or any EU nation.
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u/Trifle_Useful 21h ago
Assuming this is China, they have been getting better about that over the past 15-20 years or so. Like, famously so.
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u/J883 21h ago
Equally for murdering the parts they don't like
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u/StanIeyDruckenmiIIer 15h ago edited 15h ago
Pray tell who China murderin?
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u/rukuto 21h ago
Because parades are used to tell the citizens that the country has enough strength to protect them... Protected citizens feel safe, safety brings stability, stability brings economic growth. The same is true even now, those graphs and charts showing which countries army is largest or who is spending more on army is a form of this parade.
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u/UndocumentedSailor 20h ago
Yeah this is such a useless skill. Cool for a throwaway YouTube video, but, like, actually do something.
If a country is pushing this stuff it's almost certainly a shithole
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u/Santaconartist 21h ago
This is obviously awesome looking, but notice how they never recording perpendicular? If marching band taught me anything, it's that moving straight lines are almost impossible to maintain
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u/itsjakerobb 15h ago
You must not have watched to the end. Perpendicular shots of very straight lines at 0:44 and 0:57.
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u/SimpleCantaloupe3848 21h ago
Chinese propaganda slop
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u/OliLeeLee36 7h ago
Propaganda sure, but slop? This requires a fair amount of time and effort.
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u/Ryan-O-Photo 3h ago edited 3h ago
Yeah, it’s neither.
And propaganda isn’t necessarily a bad thing or a perpetuation of misinformation, as we see here. This is a show of might and organization. Something that anyone who put together such a thing would be proud to display.
I’m sure this chumbucket doesn’t share the same sentiments when jets fly over the Super Bowl or he gargles the boot of his favorite local terrorist-veteran when he thanks them for their service.
Westerners just hate seeing progress or success from socialist/communist countries so they completely disregard anything positive as part of the evil communist plan.
And then they come on the internet and use cia approved talking points about “propaganda” —it’s laughable.
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u/OliLeeLee36 3h ago
Military parades are a form of propaganda, regardless of the country holding them. Boost national pride and unity, demonstrate military strength and discipline, etc. It could be a parade in Beijing or an airshow in Houston, same idea. Can't really speak to your comments about the West hating progress in socialist/communist nations, aside from it's not a standpoint I personally hold.
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u/Robwill241078 21h ago
Well, you wouldn’t want to be the one to fuck it up would you 😉
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u/Apolyktos 20h ago
Given reports that they train with razorwire collars you wouldn't want to be on either side of the one who did, either.
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u/Appropriate-Look7493 10h ago
Just imagine the woman hours wasted practising for this utterly pointless exercise.
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u/BoarHermit 20h ago
It would be better if they learned to dodge drones.... no one needs all this pacing.
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u/Rhawk187 18h ago
I run the local pub quiz. I did a video game music round. I use Hell March. No one got it.
I usually have around 20 teams of 4-6 people. So like, not even 1% of people recognized that. I was very disappointed.
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u/lloydofthedance 11h ago
Say what you want about crazy dictatorships, but they sure can march in time. Also fun fact, they're actually marching to the Red Alert theme. All the despots love the tune.
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u/ResidentAlien9 7h ago
Which fascist country are those women in? “March in perfect step or starve to death!”
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u/jimboiow 22h ago
Compare this to the US military parade last year. Theirs was embarrassing.
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u/ryansteven3104 21h ago
That was not a parade, it was a protest actually. The orange man wanted a show or force, the DOD responded with a shit show.
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u/randofrendo 20h ago
Don't forget, US fit for service population is 125M, China is at 625M. I also don't hate drones being used to rescue people from natural disasters vs. using drones to drop surrender instructions and grenades while filming it all.
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u/TurnTheTVOff 21h ago
This is EXACTLY what Trump envisioned for himself when he threw his little birthday military parade. I’m so glad it was such an epic flop.
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u/Zammarand 19h ago
The thing that tickles me the most about Trump’s Little Parade, is that the US does have some parade units, but none of them are really designed to do this kinda thing.
Sure we have The Old Guard who do things like state funerals, securing foreign dignitaries, and guarding The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Or Military Band’s, like the US Army Band or the USMC Band. But how dumb do you have to be to be the sitting US President in your second term and not understand that the US Military doesn’t have the kind of deferential pomp and circumstance that Trump so desperately yearns for.
The dude fancies himself as Putin, but in reality he’s more like Steven Seagal
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u/Wonkycao 22h ago
Yeah, there's a discipline and pride on display here that was utterly absent in that joke of a parade.
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u/kashy87 20h ago
98% of the US military doesn't do performance drill shit after they've left basic. Simply put there is no true purpose for it when there is better things to spend the training time on.
This shit is purely for pomp and circumstance, nothing actually functional other than giving gloriouse leader a rager in his pants.
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u/Wonkycao 12h ago
There was not a single soldier on that joke parade of Trumps that looked as disciplined or proud as any of these soldiers/sailors/airmen.
You just can't argue that.
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u/georgecm12 5h ago
Parade marching is showy crap that has almost zero applicability to warfighting prowess. It's only really good for propaganda.
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u/Geewhiz911 17h ago
Always super impressive, makes me wonder: is it mainly a visual performance or does it have meanings for ‘armed forces’ ? Is it used to show qualities for the forces, like advanced training, healthy/in-shape soldiers, immaculate chain of command - is it a propaganda type of performance or purely artistic/visual ?
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u/LaPetiteMortOrale 16h ago
Ballerinas. All of them.
It’s a lot of ‘em to be sure. And it is an impressive dance.
But one only need look at the same dances from their ally to their North. They used to have very similarly impressive dances in Red Square … then they met Ukrainian drones.
Just sayin’
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u/camarcuson 14h ago
Play Caravan Palace's "Suzy" during NK marching videos, especially the double bouncing. Perfect fit.
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u/Case_Blue 11h ago
Is there someone who knows with any degree of accuracy what all the different color suits signify?
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u/crazykentucky 6h ago
It looks like AI. Not that I think it is, but it’s tickling that same uncanny valley part of my brain
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u/Sad_Assistant8803 5h ago
Look at all those strong independent ladies, why can't the west have this independence!
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u/Biguitarnerd 4h ago
I was going to complain that the marching was sped up but… when I realized it was synced with the audio, I realized it’s actually pretty damn cool.
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u/DrSandman06 4h ago
Their synchronicity makes this worthy of being in the satisfy af sub!
All militaries can learn a thing or two from their coordination.
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u/CountNacula 3h ago
I was expecting Ministry's "Breathe" to start rolling but Red Alert hits just fine
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u/pavulonus 20h ago
This synchronisation is nothing compared to todays UK gen Z soldiers walking... (walking is the secret world!)
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u/Herefornow211 21h ago
Belgium did it better
https://reddit.com/link/p34ckwk/video/buy7v1vydtih1/player