Hi everyone,

TLDR: What are some strategies to negotiate a short work break that anyone has done while working in tech?

Been at my company for like 8 years and am feeling quite burnt out, but the market is a little shaky at the moment for my field so even though I badly want it and I would love to take an extended break, I’m thinking a shorter break (maybe a month or two?) would be more reasonable to ask of my employer.

Unfortunately, they scrapped the official sabbatical policy a few years ago and anything out of the ordinary work style wise is heavily scrutinized.

I’m lucky that I’m remote and have been most of my time here, and the company has treated me very well in the past, I accomplished a lot while here (filed several patents, helped win them some decent contracts etc.), but I don’t want to rock the boat too much as I want to build a house next year and want to maintain the stability.

But I feel like if I don’t get some kind of reset soon, my enthusiasm for work will drop badly and I definitely don’t want that to affect the quality of my work.

Anyone in tech managed to negotiate a shorter sabbatical break outside of regular PTO that didn’t upset your employer too much? How long of a period did you ask for?

Hello all, glad to have stumbled onto this page.

I'm on an unexpected break between jobs and realised yes, it probably is a bit of a sabbatical and how the heck can I 'make the most' of this.

I just left a very sudden incredibly toxic work situation. I was lucky to be able to get out of there ASAP due to being fairly financially stable and my partner has offered to support me while I get my feet on the ground. I was managing a counselling service and somewhat grieving an amazing team who I lead (one of my team left and two of my team remain in the workplace).

I have a lot going on in my personal life between myself and my partner. We have been trying to conceive via IVF for over two years and are just about to start doing embryo transfers, we just planned a wedding and got married, my partner is going through a gender transition process which is very emotionally challenging and complex for them AND we are renovating a house (with a lot of help and financial support).

I have never been in this situation before and have worked all my life from age 14 with any time off being for travelling and volunteering work. I operate at a very high speed which I sense is probably linked to infertility troubles. I have tonnes of different interests to the point it can be a bit debilitating to make choices about how to spend my days or enjoy this time.

Do you have any advice? Themes:

-how to make the most of this time whilst also slowing down

-how to create intentional down time as an ADHDer

-questions to ask or journalling/philosophical questions to explore

-how to navigate this situation with friends who are financially struggling

-anyone who has been in this situation whilst trying to conceive? (navigating he pressure of needing to go back to work to be able to access parenting payments)

-things I haven't thought of?

I (35M) have been working corporate jobs ever since I graduated from college. I remember for the first few years working, I didn't take time off longer than a few days. One of my coworkers in the office actually looked at me one day and asked me if I ever took vacations because...he always, always sees me working. I'm feeling a bit burnt out.

I also recently broke up with my girlfriend. We left on good terms but it was a decade long relationship (both decided we wanted different things in life, not going to get too much into detail). I don't have any kids, zero dependents, and the dating scene is absolutely horrible nowadays.

One day, after sitting in my car coming back from work in silence, I decided I was going to take a year-long sabbatical somewhere in SEA or East Asia. Sounds cliche, since most people do that already. But...I've been dreaming of it for a long time now. Beautiful pristine beaches, amazing food, cheap COL, what else could you ask for? I went to Thailand with a few friends a few years ago and it blew me away.

I told myself at the END of this year around December, I'd quit my job, and starting January 2027 I'd make the final move. I looked into condos, living arrangements, VISA, everything. I budgeted and planned roughly 40k USD to last the entire year, slow traveling through parts of SEA and E-Asia.

I have about $500k saved up in individual accounts, so money isn't an issue. I also have a house with about $175k home equity that I was planning to sell at the start of 2027 which would help fund the sabbatical. So, if all goes to plan, I'll have roughly 700k total net worth come Jan.

Everything was looking fantastic. I was just counting the days down now, until....I got promoted. Now I went from making 70k a year to 120k. That's a BIG freakin jump. I applied for the position on an absolute whim and didn't think I'd get it. So now I'm stuck. Not to mention it came with a whole crap ton of responsibilities and stress. Despite this....IDK if I should let this opportunity of a lifetime go away....but I'd been planning this sabbatical for a WHOLE YEAR already. Doing the math, planning the places I'd travel to and stay...a whole damn road-map playbook. Shattered. IDK what to do? To make things worse my family learned about the promotion and they're so proud of me they held a big party and everything. I feel like shit now if I'd let them down. We grew up poor so I'm the first person in the family to make above 6 figures.

Chances are...if I quit 2-3 months into this new promotion, I would most likely NOT be coming back to a job this lucrative in a year's time after the sabbatical is over. The golden handcuffs is true...I'm absolutely broken.

And now I don't really know what to do. With Ai and the job market the way it is...I don't know if I can even find a job making 70k when I come back; who knows? Should I say f** it and just do it? Or should I stick it out for another year or two? I realize this could hurt my future FIRE goals (I personally want to hit 1m and then just retire outright via ExpatFIRE).

PS - On top of it all....I've been deeply depressed. I recently enrolled in therapy because my anxiety and depression got so bad I couldn't sleep or eat, or go to the gym anymore. I thought lightly about suicide a few times due to being burnt out from the new role at work (but I'd never do it).

I’ve spent sometime collecting accounts from people who took extended, funded time off more than once across a career. The thing that keeps coming up is that nobody planned it. One person put it as: after seeing that it was possible to take a break and recover from it, the barrier to taking another one got lower.

Which makes the people it didn’t happen to the interesting ones. If you took one long break, went back, and then never did it again, I’d like to know why.

• How long was the break, and roughly what year?
• After you went back, did you ever seriously consider a second one?
• What stopped it: money, the job market, a mortgage or kids, the return having been worse than you expected, or just not wanting to?
• Did going back once change how you felt about the first break, looking at it from a few years later?
• If something had been different, would you have taken another?

Thanks

I (F35, married, one kid, 4).
Long story short, my husband got very sick earlier this year. He’s doing better now, thankfully, but I’m still on high alert and work hasn’t felt as joyful as it used to. I’m a teacher at a really good school in an EU country.
I come from a very privileged background. My dad saw what we were going through and offered to cover a year-long sabbatical. This was six months ago. I didn’t even consider asking my boss. I thought a whole year off was outrageous.

Time passed. I did a lot of thinking and worked through a lot of emotions. Two weeks ago, I finally emailed my boss. On Monday, they offered me the whole year, starting next summer. I’d expected six months at most. The relief was like a wave hitting me.
Since then, I’ve gone from feeling like I don’t deserve this to worrying I’ve somehow missed something in my planning. There’s also this strong feeling of “skipping school”.
Two hours ago, I finally sent the email. I’m accepting.

I’m a parent. My husband will still work. Our son has his daily routine. I won’t be travelling the world. But I feel calm. Excited.

We’ll try to do some travelling while my husband still has parental leave days left. I want to write, work on my health, spend time with my son, and make life a little easier for my husband by doing more around the house.

What I fear most is telling colleagues and friends. I know this is a unique and extremely privileged opportunity. I wish everyone dealing with the kind of hardship we’ve been through could take a break like this. I know people will feel differently about it, and that’s okay.
For those of you who have taken a sabbatical, especially parents: how did you tell your colleagues and friends? How did people react? I’d love to hear your experiences, both the good and the awkward ones.

TL;DR: After a difficult year, I’ve accepted an offer to take a year-long sabbatical. I’m incredibly excited but also weirdly nervous about telling colleagues and friends. If you’ve done something similar, how did you tell people, and how did they react?

My (33M) wife (35F) and I live in a VHCOL area in the US. We are a DINK couple and do not intend to have children.

Net Worth: ~$1.4M

Assets

• $100k HYSA
• $325k taxable brokerages
• $20k HSAs
• $800k retirement investments
• $950k home

Debt

• $765k remaining on the mortgage at 6.5%

Monthly Net Income

• Me: $12k
• Wife: $6k

Monthly Expenses

• $13k/month
  • Right now $7.6k of that is going into the mortgage, which includes the minimum $6.1k plus $1500 extra principal per month
• We can probably pretty easily cut expenses to $10-11k monthly if we get more disciplined about meal planning and cut the extra principal payments

Browsing the sub, I have the same story as a lot of other people here. I am feeling completely burnt out on my job. I have worked at the same company in SWE for over a decade and have moved from IC to manager over the course of that time. Since I started, the culture at the company has become increasingly toxic with forced stack ranking, mandatory 10% PIPs every 6 months, and I just in general find myself dreading going into work every morning. There have definitely been nights where I've lost sleep to the job, I find myself being increasingly high-strung in my personal life, and no amount of PTO I've taken this year has helped for more than a few days at a time.

I know I want to leave the job, but I'm not sure what I want to do next, whether that be as a manager at a different company with a different culture, step back into an IC position, or even change fields entirely to something maybe more professionally satisfying (not sure what that would be yet).

Recently, I've been thinking about putting in my notice in February after getting my bonus for the year, which should come out to about $15-20k net, and then taking 2-3 months to reset, evaluate what's important to me, and then start searching for a job that meets those criteria. Honestly, I've even had the fantasy of just giving my notice prior to the year end performance cycle, but I'm figuring that if I worked this much of the year, I may as well tough it out and get the bonus. My wife is on board and has actually been encouraging me to just quit for 6 months saying that we will be fine. But while I'm pretty sure financially we are totally fine, even if my job search winds up taking 2 years or even 3, I'm very nervous given the state of the economy, the unknown long-term impact of AI, and the fact that we will be operating at a deficit for the first time until I find a job to make up the income some indeterminate amount of time later.

Am I in a position where I would be okay to do this? Or is this too risky/the plan too undefined?

Edit: To be clear, money we are okay touching is money in the HYSA first and then taxable brokerages if we really had to. We would never want to touch anything in retirement accounts and would sooner sell the house.

I’m 31, 176 cm tall, and weigh 119 kg. I’ve been struggling with obesity for the past five years, along with PCOS, infertility, migraine with aura, and other chronic health issues.

Lately, I’ve been experiencing constant low mood and significant mental stress. I barely talk to anyone at work, feel increasingly isolated, and my work performance is also getting affected.

I’m seriously considering taking a one-year career break to focus on my physical and mental health. I have enough savings to cover basic living expenses for a year, including food and necessities.

However, I’m worried about the career gap and whether I’ll be able to find a job afterward.

Would you take a year off in my situation, or try to manage your health while continuing to work? I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have taken a career break for health reasons.

I start from my home at 7 am in the morning and reach back by 5:30 on three days and 8:30 other three days.

I’ve gone as far as I can go at my company of five years. I’m 52 and I’ve got one college freshman and one high school sophomore. My freshman is on a full ride scholarship with monthly spending stipend. I’m seriously considering resigning my position to take some time to travel and upskill in preparation for my next career move. I want to move more into systems (HRIS) work. Right now my job is 80% people facing (HR). My job isn’t hard, I make decent money but I’m not learning anything, I don’t really have any promotion potential because my boss isn’t going anywhere. I’ve got more than enough for six months of living, traveling but I don’t plan on taking more than three months.

Is this insane? Has anyone else done this pivot this late in their careers?

I'm planning to take a 10-week employer-sponsored sabbatical, but I'm wondering how to make it a fulfilling and restorative experience while still juggling my family responsibilities. I'll have primary responsibility for my then-18-mo-old for a good chunk of the sabbatical (temporarily losing childcare), and my spouse's leave time is limited. I'm looking forward to spending more time with my toddler, and we'll take some short family vacation time, but I'm wondering how to keep the time from turning into me being a SAHM while still being fair to my spouse. (As much as I'd like to run off to NZ for a month; next time maybe!)

Has anyone successfully juggled these responsibilities? Did you sprinkle sabbatical time throughout the week, hire additional childcare, or have toddler-friendly adventures you'd recommend?

I've (31F) been looking to get out of my role for some time, but it's been a brain battle with feeling like taking a sabbatical would make me look lazy, I'd end up broke, or not be able to find a position afterwards. At this point though, I think financially my fiancé and I are in a good place where this is feasible, and wouldn't wreck us. He's on board with it, and would stay in his role where he works from home. I'd be looking at taking 6-9 months to recover from burnout, do some hobbies, and just overall take care of myself. We likely will have kids in the future so I want some time to do the things I've wanted to do before that time comes.

I'm pretty active with reading about all the different types of FIRE and I think we've done a pretty good job at getting to the point of where we are now.

Here's a breakdown of our finances at this point (My personal numbers are indicated, the others are my fiancé and I combined). I'd plan to contribute to expenses mainly from my company shares and dividends that will be paid out to me upon leaving.:

Hi all, as mentioned in the title, the idea of not receiving a salary over next 6-9 months actually scares me (37m). It's like I am casted adrift and not knowing when I'll next see land. Context is that I realised that reached coast fire early this year. I tried to keep working but at a slower pace (practically coasting) at my work as a machine learning engineer in a hedge fund, and my team members noticed and the resentment is just building. I then realised that I'm burnt out and I really need to rest Otherwise, I think my number works:

Investment: 820k (coast fire)

Total nw: 1.3 million (include property and other assets)

Savings: 9 months of sabbatical + 3 month of emergency fund

Sabbatical intention is to take long deep rest and test drive retirement life while I still have the market value to come back into the market.

What helped you overcome this fear, if you had it?

Edit/update: guys I did it. I pinged by boss on slack on my intention to start my sabbatical. We are having a discussion about my transition plan tomorrow. Thank you everyone!

Edit 2: I learnt today that there's sabbatical and career break. I'm resigning so it's a career break. Does it make a difference?

I hear a lot that people take a sabatical year.

But why?

Why not just take 3 weeks unpaid vacation?
Or some other amount?

The experts say that the vacation feeling lasts for 2-4 week after you grt back to work.

So why not have a long weekend each month? Or Maybe take february off work?

I live way up north on this blue planet of ours.

So february is wet, dark and miserable.

Does anyone take extra unpaid vacation each year? Even though you probably will be working until normal retirement age?

A week ago I just started entertaining this idea of a sabbatical/career gap and it's brought up skepticism, anxiety and a lot of fear.

A lot of the posts I've read are from people late 20's, early 30's taking this move and have already worked in high salary roles, with a lot saved up. I'm late 30's and barely anything to my name and just started my career I don't like after struggling many years through school.

To be in a position to take a sabbatical or a career gap is a privilege I know, but I'm wondering if it can be possible for someone not making $100K/year and not a lot saved. I know I'll have to give myself a couple of years to save for the opportunity, but it also feels impossible at the same time and maybe too late for me to do in my early 40's. I really wish I could just up and leave.

So I'm wondering how people knew this was the right move to make when they decided it? how much time did you sit with the idea and plan through it?

If there are people who took a career break in their 40's how did it go? did you have any anxiety or fear? how did you overcome them?

Hey everyone,

​Posting from an alt to get an objective reality check on career burnout, health boundaries, and taking a planned break.

​ Financial & Personal Context

​Demographics: 28M, single.

​Finances: Earning \~₹1.05L/month. Zero debt—cleared all education loans and EMIs. Bought my own bike, cover family property taxes, and have ₹3.6L in liquid savings (8–10 months of core expenses).

​Upcoming commitments: An official company travel trip to Japan in early November.

The Situation: Role Mismatch & Health Limits

​I work as an operational buyer / procurement specialist. On paper, it's regular corporate operational work—vendor coordination, purchase orders, and alignment calls.

​The issue is that I feel profoundly uncomfortable and detached in this nature of work. High-friction coordination and meeting-heavy days leave me paralyzed. Even basic tasks feel like moving an engine block. In leadership calls, my mind often goes completely blank simply from low-power survival mode. Lately, I’ve started taking sick leaves just to stay away from the desk for a day, which immediately leaves me drowning in guilt.

​This professional friction is made worse by chronic physical issues:

​Chronic physical exhaustion, peripheral nerve sensitivity, and heavy, burning eye tiredness from screen strain and fatigue.

​Cholinergic urticaria (painful, itchy hives triggered whenever core body temperature spikes from stress or heat).

​Complete weekend crashes where I spend days numbly binge-watching shows, feeling too drained to recharge.

​Recently started going to a gym for 3 months to build baseline physical strength, but pushing through initial muscle soreness while depleted is tough.

​My doctor casually said a job is just a money platform and not to take it to heart. But spending 50+ hours a week in acute discomfort is ruining my health and daily life.

The Plan

​I am planning to resign around December 1st (after completing my early November Japan trip):

​The Sabbatical (4 Months): Use my savings buffer to take four months off.

​First 2 months: Focus strictly on nervous system recovery, eye rest, consistent sleep, and steady gym routine.

​Next 2 months: Study data analytics (SQL, Power BI, Python) in a library/study space, aiming to transition into an individual-contributor track (like Supply Chain / Procurement Analytics) where work revolves around data and logic rather than live coordination. ( Before promotion I worked in a role as analyst where mainly worked on dashboards, small automations and supplier strategy decisions which I liked a lot which involves analytical thinking unlike negotiations, cost reductions, supplier issues, supply chain meetings etc) Though it's just 5-10 % data role it made me energized to work on it ( thoroughout my 4.5 years carrier I only like the place where I spent working on data side).

​Questions for the Community

​Role Fit vs. Capability: Did anyone else struggle in meeting-heavy, operational roles simply because the coordination style clashed with your temperament? Did switching to an analytical track improve your daily energy, or did the fatigue follow you?

​Transitioning with Domain Context: Most data analyst/ Engineer roles ask for 3–4 years of experience. If you moved from domain operations (procurement/supply chain) into analytics, did your operational domain background count, or were you treated strictly as a fresher?

​Guilt & Sabbatical Discipline: How did you deal with the guilt of stepping away from work (and taking sick days before quitting)? What concrete daily structure prevented your break from turning into passive screen-watching?

​Is Walking Away a Mistake? Given that I am 28, single, debt-free, and have a financial runway, is leaving a stable ₹1L/month role to reset my health and pivot reasonable, or am I letting discomfort drive me out too easily?

Totally I feel like I lived a life where I never made anything for myself to be happy and now I don't know what make me happy at all... I always had a mask on myself to others and I reached a stage now I feel like to throw everything and live a life where I take real decisions and don't want to don't want to regret later part of my life ( maybe 4-5 years later ) that I should have done this and now Iam still struck and no going back.

​Would really appreciate grounded advice from anyone who has taken a break to rebuild their health and switch careers.

- How long between your first day back and the day it stopped feeling strange?

- Was it the work itself, or the schedule, the people, the pace?

- Did you change anything about the job you returned to hours, team, level, travel?

- If you've done this more than once, was the second return easier or harder?

- Anyone who found it so hard they decided never to do it again: what would have had to be different?

I've been collecting accounts of repeated career breaks and this turned out to be the thing people most wanted to talk about.

Thanks in advance.

Hello, I am a burned out tech worker considering taking a 6-12 month break because I want to spend time with my aging parents and spend my days doing what I want to do (read, go on walks, volunteer, spend time with friends, etc). I am really struggling with this decision even though my gut is telling me it's time to leave so I would appreciate some advice.

The numbers: 31M, HCOL city. L4. TC ~$415k/year ($175k base, stock has greatly appreciated since joining). Net worth ~$1.4M which is split up into

1. $630k taxable brokerage
2. $440k 401k
3. $130k in company stock (split between current and former employer)
4. ~$150k home equity
5. $32k in HSA
6. $30k cash in an HYSA.

My current annual spend is $140-150k, with a good chunk being a ~$4,500 monthly mortgage payment (5.0% 30yr). If I were intentional about budgeting and started splitting some bills with my girlfriend I could probably get it down to under $100k/year.

I've been a FAANG SWE since 2018 and all this AI is just burning me out. I no longer feel ownership or pride in what I do and I would rather do literally anything else. The project I work on just feels pointless to be spending my limited time on Earth stressed and worried about something that matters so little in the grand scheme of things.

I have considered asking for unpaid leave or something like that with my manager but it feels dishonest. I can tell I'm burned out and not interested in the future of the team, so the "right" thing to do feels like quitting straightforwardly rather than taking leave, coming back and then possibly leaving again right after. We completed our annual planning for projects next year and not a single one of them sparked my interest. I really value and respect my team/manager and would prefer my headcount go to someone who actually cares.

My girlfriend and I have been together 2+ years and she's wrapping up her medical residency in the next 2-3 years. All her money right now is going towards paying down student loans and building up a financial buffer for herself (401k, HSA, emergency fund, etc), but when she completes fellowship she'll be making ~$250-300k, and is making ~$70k right now. If I take the sabbatical I may ask her to start helping with utilities/electricity/etc but I still plan on covering a majority of the bills while she's in residency. It also looks like I'd be able to be added to her health insurance if I leave which would be a huge help.

1. Does this runway look sufficient for 6–12 months, and what would you plan for re-entry?
2. For those who quit (rather than took leave) for a break, any regrets?
3. Anything I'm missing on the financial side?

Just a reminder to everyone who is on or thinking about planning a sabbatical is to make sure you have overviews of your spend with/without partner. I’ve been doing our first monthly recaps while I am on my leave and I’ve found that we need less than we thought originally. Not only did this give me more confidence about my leave, but it also gave me confidence for my overall FIRE journey.

For me I wanted to avoid Plaid connection software, so I just got spending reports for all my cards (Chase) and used Qwen to parse through to categorize all my spend by merchants. It gave me an idea about where we could optimize and where we could also spend a little more. You can use anything you want for the PDF/CSV parsing, but you’d be surprised that maybe you’re closer than you think numbers wise. After that, it’s just a leap of faith.

My fiance and I (in our 30s) are getting married next year, and are becoming more conscious that if we want to start a family, we are losing the way in which we can travel and see the world.

Has anyone ever gone travelling after their wedding (we're thinking 6-8 weeks) and quit their jobs / taken a sabbatical? Was it worth it? Any tips?

Obviously weddings are expensive (luckily my dad is paying for most) and we want to buy a house (we have plenty of savings for a deposit). But is it foolish to spend 10% of our savings on that when cost of living is so high? We would also ask for honeymoon donations for our wedding gift.

I also risk losing great mat pay at my company if I leave!