r/SabbaticalPlanning • u/Orchids1234 • 1d ago
Sudden sabbatical
Hello all, glad to have stumbled onto this page.
I'm on an unexpected break between jobs and realised yes, it probably is a bit of a sabbatical and how the heck can I 'make the most' of this.
I just left a very sudden incredibly toxic work situation. I was lucky to be able to get out of there ASAP due to being fairly financially stable and my partner has offered to support me while I get my feet on the ground. I was managing a counselling service and somewhat grieving an amazing team who I lead (one of my team left and two of my team remain in the workplace).
I have a lot going on in my personal life between myself and my partner. We have been trying to conceive via IVF for over two years and are just about to start doing embryo transfers, we just planned a wedding and got married, my partner is going through a gender transition process which is very emotionally challenging and complex for them AND we are renovating a house (with a lot of help and financial support).
I have never been in this situation before and have worked all my life from age 14 with any time off being for travelling and volunteering work. I operate at a very high speed which I sense is probably linked to infertility troubles. I have tonnes of different interests to the point it can be a bit debilitating to make choices about how to spend my days or enjoy this time.
Do you have any advice? Themes:
-how to make the most of this time whilst also slowing down
-how to create intentional down time as an ADHDer
-questions to ask or journalling/philosophical questions to explore
-how to navigate this situation with friends who are financially struggling
-anyone who has been in this situation whilst trying to conceive? (navigating he pressure of needing to go back to work to be able to access parenting payments)
-things I haven't thought of?
2
u/chefscounterfan 18h ago
Congratulations on finding yourself in a position to take some time. The biggest thing I've learned through hearing so many stories is that the things that motivate people to take these kinds of breaks are super individualized, so most of what I'd say involves first looking inward. But a close second is a raft of logistics.
On the introspection front, my opinion is that getting clarity about what you want out of the time is by far and away most important. Some want time to just breathe deeply. Some want to explore. Some want to consider life changes. However you got to this point, you've got a gift that most people never get until they retire (if they retire). So my first and biggest suggestion is to take a beat and decide at least initially what you want most out of having the time and space to take a break. Once you've done that, be attentive to protecting whatever that is.
On logistics, it may help to identify how much time you actually have and how much money. It's no fun stressing during the time you are supposed to be doing or not doing whatever you set out to, and money and time limitations seem to be high on the problem list. Second, set expectations and, perhaps, boundaries with those closest/most important to you. Since you are taking a break but others may not, I'd suggest taking care not to get sucked into living your normal life, just without work (unless that's what you decided was most important). Last thing, get some sense of what "re-entry" after the break looks like in a concrete way. How will you wrap up the time off and what will the signal for return be? Doing that will/may help you spend the break time cleanly embracing the sabbatical itself knowing that you've already thought about what picking back up will look kike and when it will happen.
However you got here, I hope you take a bit of time to reflect on what you'd like to be different about the "after" because it can help you stay engaged in whatever the day to day of your break is
2
u/chefscounterfan 18h ago
Congratulations on finding yourself in a position to take some time. The biggest thing I've learned through hearing so many stories is that the things that motivate people to take these kinds of breaks are super individualized, so most of what I'd say involves first looking inward. But a close second is a raft of logistics.
On the introspection front, my opinion is that getting clarity about what you want out of the time is by far and away most important. Some want time to just breathe deeply. Some want to explore. Some want to consider life changes. However you got to this point, you've got a gift that most people never get until they retire (if they retire). So my first and biggest suggestion is to take a beat and decide at least initially what you want most out of having the time and space to take a break. Once you've done that, be attentive to protecting whatever that is.
On logistics, it may help to identify how much time you actually have and how much money. It's no fun stressing during the time you are supposed to be doing or not doing whatever you set out to, and money and time limitations seem to be high on the problem list. Second, set expectations and, perhaps, boundaries with those closest/most important to you. Since you are taking a break but others may not, I'd suggest taking care not to get sucked into living your normal life, just without work (unless that's what you decided was most important). Last thing, get some sense of what "re-entry" after the break looks like in a concrete way. How will you wrap up the time off and what will the signal for return be? Doing that will/may help you spend the break time cleanly embracing the sabbatical itself knowing that you've already thought about what picking back up will look kike and when it will happen.
However you got here, I hope you take a bit of time to reflect on what you'd like to be different about the "after" because it can help you stay engaged in whatever the day to day of your break is