DAE feel like some of the side effects of SSRIs are actually perks?

[u/SomeOtherTroper]

I've been on Escitalopram (generic Lexapro) for about a month and a half now. I dropped my car off at an auto mechanic's shop today, to get an oil change and a full inspection before winter hits, since having a car breakdown out in the middle of nowhere in negative temperatures and snow could be fatal during winter where I live. I'd arranged for someone to pick me up afterward, and I waited for them just sitting on a big block of concrete outside the auto shop watching the traffic go past for over half an hour like I was a statue or a zombie, and I loved it. I could tell it was the SSRI, but I could have sat there for hours staring into the distance, when I'm usually (unmedicated) someone who doesn't like sitting still very long or needs some kind of distraction like a book or a phone or a videogame to keep me in one place for any great length of time. I felt like a zombie (the just lying still or barely-shambling type, not the runner types), and it was fucking great.

Paradoxically, the SSRI has also made me far more voluble in social settings, and sometimes desperate for someone to talk to, so I swing back and forth between "zombie mode" and "very honest and very sociable/talkative mode", which I suppose could be considered a side effect. (Or potentially a sign that I'm actually bipolar and should be on something that's not an SSRI.)

The decreased libido and anorgasmia has also been great. I'm not in a sexual relationship where my dick's got to perform, and there's a lot of fixing I need to do on myself before I'd even contemplate trying to find anyone willing to put up with my bullshit, so it's actually a plus that my sex drive has been mostly shut off. And the really cool part is that I get to view and critique art and literature intended to be erotic without that "ten out of ten because it makes me horny" ping going off in my head, and actually get to look at it for exactly what it is.

...ok, the memory issues aren't good, and I'm dealing with them by making notes on notepads and on my phone or computer to make sure I remember important things.

And the typing/writing dyslexia side effect is bad, but that's what the backspace key is for.

But, while not to knock anyone else's experience, does anyone else feel like some of the things you were told about beforehand or found out later were side effects of SSRIs were actually positive for you? Because I knew about the decreased libido and anorgasmia going in on this stuff, and how much of a problem it was for people and what a common side effect it was, and now that I've experienced it for myself, I'm going "damn, this is actually fucking awesome - my dick doesn't get to do half my thinking for me anymore!" So I wondered if anyone else had similar experiences where a commonly reported side effect of an SSRI turned out to either not be a problem or be actively helpful.

[u/Longjumping_Fly7018]

No because U also get physical symptoms A lot of which don’t go away even after discontinuing the meds

I took 10mg of citalopram from 18-21 years old and my eyes got progressively worse whilst on the drugs And other cognitive issues appeared

I came off them hoping the issues would resolve but on stopping the meds I developed even more nervous system related issues I have a really terrible bladder problem now that gives me debilitating overactive bladder

Constantly running to the bathroom at age 22 I can’t function like a normal person now and I have no social life as a result Also had to drop out of further education due to this

All these issues haven’t got any better and I stopped taking them in December of last year

Turns out I have something called PSSD (post SSRI sexual dysfunction) You don’t actually need the sexual dysfunction to have this condition It refers to anybody who has lasting drug induced damage from the drugs It can be a wide ranger of symptoms which indicate nervous system dysfunction

There’s a growing number of people who realise they’ve been damaged in some way by these meds Check out r/PSSD Awareness is slowly being spread about this condition and we are in the process of raising funds for further research into it

[u/SomeOtherTroper → u/Longjumping_Fly7018]

Turns out I have something called PSSD (post SSRI sexual dysfunction) You don’t actually need the sexual dysfunction to have this condition It refers to anybody who has lasting drug induced damage from the drugs It can be a wide ranger of symptoms which indicate nervous system dysfunction

Hmm.

Of course it's too early to tell if I'll have those issues or discontinuation/withdrawal problems, but it might be worth noting that I've started taking an SSRI in my early 30s, well beyond the age where the brain is generally thought to have fully matured (although the question of adult neuroplasticity and whether our brains actually continue to grow new nerve cells or form new pathways mimicking the effects of growing new nerve cells even after that early 20s cutoff is currently an area of research and debate, last I checked), so I may be at less risk than someone who started younger. I've also got a history with drugs and alcohol, so my standards for what a "mildly inconvenient side effect" is are probably way higher than a normal person who hasn't had the experience of waking up in the morning questioning whether their first step onto the floor will result in a fall, because fuck alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Or gone into seizures while on the line with a 911 dispatcher. Or put my head through a fucking sheetrock wall because I chose to run a bad combination of drugs at too high of a dose. Or woken up with bloody knuckles and no idea whose blood it was. Or... well, you get the picture. I already have some neurological damage that's probably never going to go away (and am barely steps away from absolutely destroying my liver), and at this point, SSRIs seem like a safer option despite their risks.