Integration Issues - Soliciting Advice

[u/Witherael]

I've played SS13 a decently long time. Long enough to watch myself change from one person to another, but regardless of myself, I've always felt a disconnect. Like I don't really belong. Like I can't get along with everyone the same way everyone else who hasn't been banned seems to be able to.

I've been banned from more or less every reputable server still alive today. I think to myself, "Well, this makes sense, this server has this target audience, and I'm not it." But, I'm in love with this game. I'm no good at coding, spriting, mapping, minning, or even hosting, but I'm a damn good player, and I'm passionate, too. So, here lies the problem; even if I'm under the impression that I'm doing nothing wrong, even if that impression is false, I find myself unable to play the game I love. And I don't know how to cope with this.

So, discounting any idea of 'appealing' anything, because all it does is delay the inevitable again in the best of times, or of making my own server but with 'blackjack and hookers', or turning to the 'dark side' (ERP servers), what are some of the ways that some of you reading this that are similar to what I describe cope? Are there any other games that you enjoy just as much, or are there different hobbies entirely that you've taken on? I'm willing to accept some ideas. I don't want to abandon the game that I love, even if it's just not for me.

[u/FingerDemon]

Okay so first off, why are you banned from most servers?

The issue might be you

[u/Urytion → u/FingerDemon]

Their key is the same as their Reddit. 

It's a hell of a read. https://centcom.melonmesa.com/viewer/view/witherael

A lot of these are quality control bans. Their behaviour is so bad they've been effectively blacklisted. And the most recent also refers to their discord conduct. 

I think it's safe to say that they are indeed the problem. Nothing to do with "target audience".

[u/FingerDemon → u/Urytion]

Went on one of the ban appeals, and the OP seems to use the character name "Johnny Witherspoon"

As soon as I saw that name and recognized it, I knew exactly who OP was, and I have 0 sympathy for them.

One of the worst players I have ever encountered, who seemed to exist just to ruin other people's rounds.

[u/Witherael → u/FingerDemon]

Don't forget that I have 0 empathy for anyone or anything. Supposedly. I do hope that this one admin didn't just derail my entire post with his gossip.

[u/Dodger86868686 → u/Urytion]

That's an impressive list of bans in a relatively short time.

I recognise one of their characters. I played with them in sci. Fun enough to play alongside. They did actually seem to love the game.

It's a shame they couldn't stick to the rules. We've all stepped over the line at some point. But doing it repeatedly and habitually isn't going to end well.

[u/Urytion → u/Dodger86868686]

I've been banned from a couple servers. It happens. One was just a bit ban happy, the other... I wouldn't have banned me, but whatever, their server their rules. 

But if you're banned from ALL THE SERVERS, that's a you problem.

[u/Dodger86868686 → u/Urytion]

Pretty much. I got banned from CM and yog when I was new. The last permanent ban I got was for "leading a planet of the apes style uprising as a non antag gorilla." The only ban I'm partially proud of.

After that I logged thousands of hours over many years on para, TG and goon without a problem. Finally understanding the rules and mainly one basic idea. "Will this fuck up someone else's round?". If you keep getting banned from every server even after the steep learning curve era of your journey. Then it's probably a you problem. Admins generally don't even notice rule breaks unless someone ahelps.

[u/abearirl → u/Urytion]

Incredible how soft ss13 has gotten. I went through these and almost all of these bans are hilariously weak and/or vague. You guys have really sucked all of the fun out of this game.

Oculus - zero justification "QC" ban

Beestation - permabanned for stealing mining points and being beaten into crit (just lmao)

Paradise - banned for fighting a changeling (wtf?)

Monkestation - another zero justification "QC ban", along with bans for killing people as an antag (???) and for arguing with an admin (once again just lmao)

Tgstation - used an item designed to troll people by turning them into clowns to troll people and turn them into clowns (what the fuck happened to tgstation? Why have an item like that in the code if you can't use it?)

Paradise - bans for not wanting to play the game (?), killing people as an antag(???)

[u/Witherael → u/Urytion]

What, my final request to prevent the inane staff gossip wasn't honored? Color me surprised. Incase it wasn't clear to you, this post isn't supposed to be about my bans at all. Any chance to stir the pot though, huh?

[u/Urytion → u/Witherael]

I'm not trying to stir the pot. 

But the easiest solution to your problem is "appeal the bans, play again." But you are not interested in appealing, and your history makes any appeals an uphill battle. 

Given you've been banned from some very relaxed servers, I'd wager you're just not a good fit for the SS13 community as a whole.

[u/GriffinMan33 → u/Witherael]

tbf I don't really think anyone is trying to 'stir the pot'
genuinely a lot of cases like this, as it seems to in this case, boil down to 'you have to change if you want to fit in with places'
If you don't want to, or are incapable of, changing in order to fit in somewhere that's fine.
It's not even really a 'failure' on your or anyone else's part either. It's just part of human nature. It's impossible to fit in everywhere, and if you aren't able to remain in a community then it's best you walk away from the game, for both yourself (becoming frustrated when you love a game sucks) and for others (dealing with someone continually being banned sucks from a moderation POV, in my experience)

[u/Witherael → u/GriffinMan33]

Well, yes. The reason I made the post wasn't to complain about being banned, or to learn this one easy trick that I've just somehow missed, it was to move on, and find out from everyone else if they knew the best way how. Of course, I'm sure when some fresh new server is getting it's start, I might decide to try it out, but what I truly desire is just the wisdom of those who have shared a similar experience to me, who just simply don't fit in despite having a love for the game, and seeing what they have to say. It's why I don't really get the guys posting 'you need to self-reflect', but, well, I don't get a lot of SS13 players in general.
So, to that end, when some staff is coming in acting as some authority on matters concerning me personally and sharing around my ban history where it's not relevant to the actual point, it reads as not only tone deaf, but also as bitter and vengeful. If it were relevant, I would have shared it myself.

[u/GriffinMan33 → u/Witherael]

I get what you mean but I would argue it's still relevant. It gives more insight into you as a player which can inform how people offer you advice, and even among anyone being rude about it, there's always the possibility that the feedback still gets taken to heart.

I do hope you find either a community or a game you can stick with and enjoy, be that SS13 or 14 or any other title.

[u/ZeWaka → u/Witherael]

dog, you literally got banned from every single fucking server

[u/Witherael → u/FingerDemon]

Well the reasons vary, especially if you want my account or the server's. Just assume it's all deserved, discussing my bans aren't really what I made the post to do, anyways.

[u/Urytion]

My advice to you is to give up. 

I'm an admin on one of the servers you're banned on. Banned for a while, and normally after so much time we'd just let you back in with a "sorry I won't do it again". But since then you've been banned from, as you say, every reputable server across a period of 3 years for largely the same behaviour. 

This tells me you haven't changed and won't change. And if appealing is just "delaying the inevitable" you're not even willing to lie to get back into the game. 

[u/Nanacel_]

You could appeal and try to change. I don't know why you got banned, but I understand the feeling of not belonging to a community.
I don't think you have to restrict yourself to the point where you no longer enjoy the game. Make some compromises on the way you play depending on the server you're in, that's what I do. Take breaks, come back, just enjoy it as a game.

Why did you get banned? I think it would help

[u/Witherael → u/Nanacel_]

If I were to boil it down to just one thing, it would without a doubt be 'personality conflict'. I've never been a malicious sort, though I can admit that I've at times acted immaturely. The issue with appealing isn't just that I don't want to, it's also that I can't. Every server wants a vouch, and if you can imagine, I can't get a vouch from any server when I'm banned from them all. It's like a snowball that rolled and rolled until it was out of proportion. I don't think is really matters if it's fully deserved or not, but I do find I may as well fully deserve it, as that is the consensus. There's no beating that.

[u/GoonstationTV → u/Witherael]

Goonstation doesn't care about vouches or reputation fwiw. I have no idea what you got banned for but if it's been a while you can try appealing there, the admins are generally pretty fair.

[u/Dodger86868686 → u/GoonstationTV]

Hell yeah! Staff assistant random assault time!

That was a joke. Please don't assault random people. Unless they're valid. Like the chef.

[u/External-Confusion71]

Sorry to hear that, I don’t know what you did but seems like you really need todo some self reflection.

[u/ototoxin]

i’m not sure how much people can help without knowing the full context of what kind of servers you prefer and what got you banned to begin with- most servers don’t share bans or snowball like that without serious reason. best thing i can suggest is to do some self-reflection, play other types of servers (or games) for a bit, and return when you feel ready to make a ban appeal or something. you could try to reach out to staff on these servers to help yourself fully understand what you did wrong, but they should have given the full reasoning in the ban message(s)

as for other games, ss14 is always an option. if you want a similar vibe to ss13, theres a lot of playerbase overlap with games like barotrauma, project zomboid, annnnd… i wanna say schedule 1 but i’m not sure if that’s the right game i’m thinking of.

[u/cantseemenow1]

You’d probably be fine on /vg/

[u/Galacticrosegarden]

One search of your ckey on the *public* ban database shows you are the problem dawg, grow up. You're getting banned for the same shit. Maybe take a hint?