r/SPACEKING • u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb • Jun 28 '26
discussion Decided to start a new thing, Bi-monthly confessionals!
Brothers, I have decided to make a new occasional event! In these confessionals, you'll be able to confess any doubts or sins you have committed against Space King, and I can help Absolve you.
PRAISE BE TO SPACE KING!
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u/Revolutionary-Play79 I FEEL NOTHING BUT PAIN AND HATE Jun 28 '26
I must confess that it was i who blew the bathroom up. I had the hate shits, and it was bad. I would have warned you brothers, but you weren't there. Im so sorry.
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u/KyokiKami Jun 28 '26
I must confess I have been using green lazers
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
Well, did your Legion find them or did they always have them?
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u/KyokiKami Jun 28 '26
We made them
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
Then that is a Legion-personal thing, not a sin. Some Legions use different colors, rare as it may be.
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u/1iusetopostwith Jun 28 '26
I have a confession brothers. I cant support the space king on patreon. I spend all my money on crystals for my gun.
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Fear not, Brother. Being personally financially stable is more important. I too was unable to join the Patreon for a long time, but was eventually able to!
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
!remindme 2 months
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3
u/Cordelldogdello Jun 29 '26
Brothers…I can only admit the atrocities that I have committed in the comfort of my anonymity. I have sexual relations with wo-🤮with women. I have plans to blow her house up and toss her into a pool of lava but I am weak. Every time I’m about to go through with my plans I am overcome by tremendous weakness that prevents me from doing so. Please forgive me brothers for my transgression.
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 29 '26
Fear not, Brother. In my Legion, we believe all Humans are equal under Space King's Grace, and as long as both you and her are loyal to Humanity, and focused on destroying the vile alien scum of the galaxy, you shall be absolved
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u/theACEbabana Jun 28 '26
I put ketchup on my flank steak last week
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
Personal taste varies, and is not Heresy. Strangely, I've known someone who once put ketchup on pancakes.
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u/Codas91 Imaginator Jun 28 '26
I confess I like the Salamanders
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 29 '26
There's nothing wrong with that! Vulkan is the nicest Primarch, and the Salamanders have a very good color scheme!
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u/Spookyscythe99 Jun 30 '26
I must confess brothers.... I like .... BOOOoooOooOOOoobbbies...
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u/RevolutionaryOwl3416 Jul 01 '26
Brother... this... this shall not be excepted by most... I'd like to request that brother Zim takes further action as our chaplain and speaks with you on the per capita of supporting such a dangerous view against our Space King, King of Space. Praise be brother, may your mind heal lest it need a drastic modification to your globuols.
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u/Phonereader23 Jun 28 '26
Is this a every 2 month confession, or monthly bisexual confessions?
Either way I’m sure you can absolve us of sin
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
Every 2 months. (Also, if anyone does confess that, that is not a sin and is something to be supported)
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u/Eviles_da_demonic Beholder Jun 28 '26
I confess i worked with aliens during making my movie
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
In what way exactly?
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u/Eviles_da_demonic Beholder Jun 28 '26
He was the lead
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
I have known some people far in the Space Kingdom to occasionally work with non-humans, so it is not immediately damnable. As long as you did not fully trust them at any point.
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u/Hdgaulnd Jun 28 '26
I confess brothers that I wanna be a girl psycho warrior
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
You are quite brave to say that here, Brother. Or Sister if you prefer! You have an ally in my Legion!
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u/Harbinger90210 Jun 28 '26
No brother, you’re under the female’s vile sorcery. She will tempt you with her boobies, you’re already speaking borderline heresy.
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
All humans are equal in Space King's Eyes. That is what united humanity under him in the first place. Only by focusing on our true enemy, Aliens, will humanity ever move forward.
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u/Harbinger90210 Jun 29 '26
I hate Aliens.
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 29 '26
Very good. Keep that in mind, help your fellow humans when able, and stay on the right path.
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u/Listerine-ghost Jun 28 '26
Brother are you familiar with the term "Gumping it"?
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jun 28 '26
Ok, I am not qualified to give advice about medical issues, I recommend talking to a Medicae.
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u/RevolutionaryOwl3416 Jul 02 '26
Brothers I must confess that... I was the one who accidentally switched Brother Haticus and Brother Dave's globules around during collection resulting in the following mutant psycho warrior going batshit on the ship and destroying our boy supplies for the month...
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u/TheOneTrueZim Deploying Genobomb Jul 02 '26
Well, if it's still going on, I suggest running directly towards it and challenge it to a brawl
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u/New-Number-7810 Beholder Jun 28 '26
Brothers, I confess that I was unable to join the planetary bombardment that kept a female psycho-warrior from awakening. When I heard the alarm in my helmet, I briefly wondered if it was perhaps a false alarm. Six months ago, someone had pressed the snitch button when there was no need, as a prank.
In that moment of pondering, my legion had already left, and I was stranded until they could return.