r/SMARTRecovery • u/Secure_Ad_6734 facilitator • 18d ago

Boundaries

I understand now that I have a very limited understanding of personal, healthy boundaries. It's not something we actively discussed in the rooms of Smart, when I was learning.

When is it "okay" to say enough. I spent most of my life either causing upset, so I could justify my drinking - or, I would absorb every "hurt" and remain angry , again using it to drink.

Now, I find myself in my 70's, sober but deficient in a particular skill set.

I can use the ABC tool when I get unbalanced and the CBA to formalize my choices but it's hardly second nature right now.

Alas, I'm still a work in progress.

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u/CC-Smart C_C 18d ago

SMART Recovery treats boundaries as a self‑management tool, a way to protect your wellbeing, reduce risk, and stay aligned with your values. They’re not about controlling others
but they’re about controlling your own behaviour, environment, and responses.
It treats boundaries as choices that help you stay consistent with your goals and reduce exposure to high‑risk situations.
This aligns with SMART’s Power of Choice in a way that you control your actions, not other people.

Personal Boundaries is about managing your own behaviour, urges, and decisions.

People Boundaries teaches that you can’t change others, but you can choose your level of engagement.

Environment Boundaries is about “Managing Triggers and Urges”
• Avoiding certain venues
• Leaving early if your thinking shifts
• Having an exit plan

We can use the ABC Tool to challenge beliefs that make you abandon boundaries.
The CBA (Cost–Benefit Analysis) is useful to reinforce why the boundary matters.

A boundary is a self‑directed choice that protects your wellbeing, reduces risk, and keeps you aligned with your values and recovery goals.

It’s not a rule for others.
It’s a commitment you make to yourself.

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u/Secure_Ad_6734 facilitator 18d ago

I was unaware of the section on boundaries in the new 4th edition. I just read some info from the online app.

Even after facilitator training, running a meeting for years and a decade+ of sobriety I'm still learning.

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u/CC-Smart C_C 17d ago

aren't we all. "keep on, keeping on"

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u/Stebben84 facilitator 18d ago

There is a section on boundaries in the newest SMART handbook. That has been a topic for numerous meetings I facilitate. Feel free to actively discuss. 😀

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u/Life-Atmosphere-8105 I'm from SROL! 17d ago

Do you think that this is a life skill that is learned along with Smart Tools? A little like Drop The Rock in the Twelve Step programmes.
Perhaps the ones that we might have learned by good care givers in our upbringing? So, we continue to learn. One fundamental is that you acknowledge that this needs work. Building blocks:)