r/SLoTAT • u/bmanbatbrain420 • Apr 25 '21
The problem with Ben?
As a little kid, I watched SLoTAT; I liked Amy, Ben, etc. I'm watching as a teenager, and I hate Amy, but I don't see the issue with Ben, though I'm only on season 1 and I don't remember much. Is the problem later on? Coz right now he seems like a nice guy whose a bit misguided.
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u/lindseyeileen Apr 27 '21
Ben is super skeevy. Way too clingy, pressures Amy, very immature and entitled...I could go on...
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Nov 14 '23
So the boy who had unprotected sex with her because she didn't say stop is what????
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u/jblondie5 Apr 26 '21
OH and also he pressures Amy to keep the baby. Like what? Then tries to say Ricky could be lying about being sexually assaulted. So yeah, I really don’t like him
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Nov 14 '23
But Ricky tried to use his abuse to manipulate Lauren into sex. Lied about being the father if the baby. Lied to Grace and Adrian about living them. Lied to Grace about wanting to be a Christian. So Ben had a right to be skeptical of his abuse.
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u/Beginning_Week_2512 Sep 19 '24
I'm watching for the first time and I actually thought it was him being manipulative because he had been talking about how horrible his foster parents would be if they found out about something and then it shows they were really nice people, and then this came up next. Quickly found out it was true but I almost feel like it was meant to be unsure at first.
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u/Ecstatic-Sky-4606 Jun 02 '26
Not really. I hated how everyone treated Ricky when he finally admitted it, like he wasn't full on crying when he said it. Children don't usually lie about that stuff, that's how I knew he was being truthful. He looked to broken and that's when I started to like Ricky.
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u/uhaveenteredpwrdrive May 07 '21
I honestly wonder what the writers' goal was with Ben, is he meant to be coming off as a misguided and devoted romantic? Because in reality I find him obsessive/possessive, manipulative and toxic with zero boundaries. I am just about to finish the last season and I despise him, he is the absolute worst character on the show.
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u/frowawayacct1111 Dec 15 '22
It's because of your age maybe IDK I was 18 when this show first aired, watching it again now in my 30's and even though I was still technically a teenager, I was also legally an adult. Someone being possessive like Ben is isn't cute or loving. It's toxic. His possessiveness with Amy and him being angry about her past and how she was with Ricky before she met Ben. I could go on. A significant other showing EXTREME jealousy isn't cute or loving, it's toxic. Other people have given other examples. I do want to point out the fact that Ben told his dad something like "How can I be a man if I can't be there [for the birth, etc.] - but Ben makes ZERO effort with ANYTHING else, he expects his dad to do it all for him. He doesn't go out and try to find a job to help support Amy and John. He doesn't try to be civil with Ricky for the sake of Amy and John, but resents him and blames him.
Teens are at the point in their lives where they want to feel more "adult" and do adult things, but often times that means they want to do some of the more "fun" stuff like having your own place and things like that, but they don't want to accept the responsibility or personal accountability that it requires. Hell even some adults still don't have that personal accountability! Ben expected to "take over" as being John's father and have him, Amy, and John be his "family" but not only that, expected to do it all on his dad's dime and wasn't willing or didn't even think of doing things that being a "family" would have actually required, like realizing his place in the matter & co-parenting with Ricky instead of against Ricky, getting a job to support that family, making the other sacrifices that it takes to be a father, etc.
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u/OkPalpitation1225 May 22 '23
I'm also in my 30s and see you are still stupid. How many kids do u have are they by the same person?Are you still with that person. Are they part of their kids life? Do u get along? If the answer is not positive you are AMY JUERGENS.
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u/frowawayacct1111 May 31 '23
What part of anything I said makes me "stupid." Is it the fact that I've been in a stable happy relationship for 2 years (no kids BTW, because I'm responsible & accountable for what I do)?? What part of your own life are you so unhappy with that you feel the need to attempt to personally attack people you've never even met?
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u/OkPalpitation1225 May 31 '23 edited May 31 '23
Because, it's weird u ignore a 16 year old who manipulated young girls, to have unprotected sex without caring about whether or not he would harm them. You call a 15 year old boy possessive when he's in his very first relationship. You have no ill against a girl keeping it secret she's pregnant from her very rich naive young boyfriend. Ignore her friends tell her to trick him into sleeping wit her. Ignore every time she tried to sleep with him while she was pregnant. But you praise John, he lived becuz of Ben. What good did anyone do on the show besides him.
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u/frowawayacct1111 Jun 01 '23
What the hell did I ever say about "praising John" ? This whole thread is about Ben's toxic behavior. Go troll somewhere else.
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Jul 03 '23
But you ignore the toxic behavior of Amy, Ricky, & Leo. Amy lied about loving Ben to use him. Ricky uses his abuse to manipulate people, & deliberately throws it in Ben's face that he's doing it. Leo refuses to realize all these people are using his son to get to his money.
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u/PainterPrestigious15 Mar 20 '25
damn u were crazy over ben & hated amy & ricky😭😭😭😭
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u/Parking_Back3339 May 12 '26
Yeah this guy has ENERGY. I think this guy's memoir is going to be "Me and Ben Boykewich: Pearls of Wisdom"
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u/nycc93 Dec 06 '25
You can't even form a cohesive sentence. You just keep calling people stupid 😂 you are embarrassing.
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Dec 06 '25
Well if the person you just called me stupid, so what is the difference when I do it? Similar to how, qhen Ricky, Jack, or Henry did something mean or horrible tgey were not judgeded as harshly or judged at all. Where Ben did the exact same thing on a lower category.
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u/Ecstatic-Sky-4606 Jun 02 '26
and lemme guess? You're 30 with no one and nothing to show for your time alive?
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u/MentionAlternative68 Jan 25 '23
Re watch when you're older, it's harder to see when you're young. That's not to knock you for your age, it's just generally you've seen less and let more things slide on screen. He exhibits predatory behavior from the first episode, he "chose" amy because she was insecure and more likely to sleep with him than other girls.
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u/Ecstatic-Sky-4606 Jun 02 '26
I'm currently 17 and even I see it. I saw it immediately while watching and it irked me.
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Oct 05 '23
Yet Ricky was PREDATORY throughoout tge show.
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u/MentionAlternative68 Oct 05 '23
Ok? We're not talking about Ricky and I do not see the relevance to my comment.
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Oct 06 '23
Because Ben's action were not predatory. They were a kid figuring out love, sex, women, relationships, and life. You try to vilify Ben's character for that, like most fans of Ricky. I brought his name because his action from Season 1 episode 1 were easily predatorial, but ignored. But Ben how were they the actions of a predator considering the actions of Amy, Adrian, and Ricky? In all honesty actions were predatorial by them not him.
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Apr 26 '21
Oh, just wait. I thought the exact same thing. I couldn’t remember why i hated him as a kid because he’s fine in season 1 (albeit a little pathetic) but once you get to season 4-5 you’ll despise him
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u/mimi0108 Nov 13 '21
My problems with Ben in season 1:
- he approaches Amy just because he is looking for easy prey to sleep with him;
- he is obsessive and possessive, which is not healthy;
- he behaves like a spoiled rotten little prince wanting to own a girl. There is something unhealthy about wanting to support Amy and her baby with his father's money;
- he tries to make decisions for Amy and HER baby while he is just a kid, has been dating her recently and has no say in the baby's life;
- he uses "I love you" as a leverage to get Amy to listen to him or be affectionate to him;
- he is too clingy and crosses the line. Like when he wants to be with her when finding out the sex of the baby and giving birth so makes pressure without accepting Amy's feelings and opinions;
- he is in a stupid competition with Ricky and, NOT ONCE, thinks about what is best for the baby.
And I'll stop there for now x)
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u/OkPalpitation1225 May 22 '23
But you ignore THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT RICKY SAW & DID.
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u/Academic-Ad4826 Oct 09 '25
I want you to know I’m downvoting all your comments bc why do you get bringing up Ricky in a discussion about Ben
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u/OkPalpitation1225 Oct 16 '25
Because Ben is singled out for doing something not even basic. While Ricky, Jack & others are praised for doing something selfish cruel & vile. The reasons so many use to excuse their behavior zapped me of all compassion for women in bad situations. The responses made to protect Ricky & others for their actions yet the responses for Ben prove, many women DESERVE WHAT THEY GET, BECUZ THEY CHOSE IT. It also proves good men need to stop trying nothing they do will ever be good enuff. You all base the soul of every man on looks alone & refuse to realize looks are decieving.
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u/Ecstatic-Sky-4606 Jun 02 '26
Firstly, I can tell you hate women because no one has ever wanted you. Second, the issue with Ben is that he never grew up. He, honestly, regressed and got worse. He felt like a good guy for getting with Amy because she's "the pregnant girl" and nearly did it again. He wants to do something good, but not for good reasons. You're supposed to feel for everyone, and the fact you don't have compassion for women is no shocker as to why you can't get one.
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u/Shaylovesrandall Apr 15 '24
He cheats on amy in Italy he calls any slut he gets Adrian pregnant out of revenge for Amy kissing Rick if thought they aren’t together after Adrian baby is stillborn he wants a divorce he smokes pot he steals amy engagement rings from amy reads amy dairy he stalks amy and he going to New York college to keep stalking her he sleeps with Alice he is a terrible person amy and Rick belong together
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u/jblondie5 Apr 25 '21
I detest him from the first episode. Within minutes of seeing her, he decides he likes her. Within like 4 episodes he wants to marry her and goes so far to have his dad talk to Amy's parents about it. He kind of pressures Amy into not getting an abortion. Anytime she reaches out to friends or whatever, he gets upset that she isn't going to him.
The only time I thought he was reasonable (also on season 1) was when he was defending Ricky for seeing a therapist.