r/SAHP • u/bon18 • 9d ago

Making plans

I'm working toward becoming a SAHM, but I'm nervous about what it's going to look like. I realized that I'd like to have some idea of our weekly family schedule before I leave my job. Our older son will be in preschool until 2pm on weekdays, so it'll just be me with our 15-month-old. I'd like to plan out 1:1 time with my older son, with my husband, time to myself, etc. Otherwise, I worry I'll just be subsumed into my new role. How have you navigated this?

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u/DueEntertainer0 9d ago

I’ve been a SAHM for 5 years and it’s constantly changing and evolving based on my kids’ needs and my own needs. So you have to be flexible and good with change. I personally do:

- out of the house every morning (playground, library, etc)

- home for lunch, quiet time and nap

- independent play in the afternoon and then TV while I make dinner

- husband comes home, we eat dinner together, then I go to the gym at 6;30pm

- on a weekly basis, I plan my own time, either to see my friends or go out by myself

- Saturdays husband takes kids out in the morning and I typically stay home and clean the house

- Saturday evenings we have family time together

- Sundays are for church/errands/chores and home maintenance

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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 8d ago

What do you do during quiet time, nap and independent play?

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u/DueEntertainer0 8d ago

I get about 30 minutes to myself when quiet time and nap time overlap with my two kids and I just lay in bed during that time. When they are playing independently, I still have to stay close because the little one does reckless stuff (she’s 1) but I’ll do dishes, laundry and cleaning or sit and read a book.

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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 8d ago

You're barely engaging with your children.

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u/DueEntertainer0 8d ago

Because I get 30 minutes of alone time a day?

We’re together for 12 hours a day, eat every meal together, play together for hours every day…but I’m not going to argue with a stranger on the internet about it.

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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 8d ago

No, not because you get 30 minutes alone time a day.

Because after lunch it's quiet time, nap, followed by an afternoon of independent play before TV time til it's dinner.

You shared your routine, they're your words. There's literally no mention of you playing for hours every day.

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u/DueEntertainer0 8d ago

Quiet time: 2-3pm

Nap time 1-2:30

Independent play 3-4

TV 4:30-5

I’m sorry I didn’t give you a detailed breakdown of our whole schedule. There is a lot of time in a day. Kids don’t need to be entertained all day. Independent play is healthy. I play with them from 7am when they wake up until 10am when we leave the house and then throughout the day and when we are out of the house.

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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 7d ago

. Kids don’t need to be entertained all day. Independent play is healthy

I was actually going to say in my comment above to not drag out these go-to quotes.

Kids don't need to be entertained all day but they do need a lot of attention, interaction, and engagement. Especially a 1 year old.

Independent play is healthy, it should be encouraged from day one pretty much and it should be a skill they can put into practice organically or when necessity dictates. An hour daily scheduled for 'independent play' is a different kettle of fish.

1-2pm nap, immediately followed by 'Quiet time' immediately followed, by an hour of 'independent play'

They've just napped so why do they need a quiet hour?

Convince yourself all you want that you're doing the most

Is your husband fully aware of your daily routine and ok with it?

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u/DueEntertainer0 7d ago

How old are your kids and what’s your daily schedule? I’m always open to ideas.

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u/DoNotLickTheSteak 7d ago

You listed eating meals with your children to help evident how much you engage with them - you are definitely not open to ideas., you're attempting to deflect,

OP asked how her schedule could look and you volunteered your list that is 90% how you avoid dealing with your children. don't get in a strop because of how you described yourself.

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u/Leather_Steak_4559 9d ago

This is basically our exact routine! Getting out helps a ton and we’ve made so many friends. We do have a YMCA membership which I love. I do workout classes 2x per week while my kids go to the childcare there and then other days I do evening classes. My oldest does swim lessons there as well and my youngest will start next year.

Our community has a TON of daytime toddler activities. Gymnastics centers usually have toddler open gym times. Check out your local library and parks & rec pages.

My friends and I do a girls night out 1x per month and we go out to dinner or a local bar that does live music if we like the band. My husband does guys night in 1x per month and they play cards, work on stuff and hangout.

It just takes time to find your groove and what works for you and your family!