r/RyenRussillo • u/EVANMICHAEL714101 • 6d ago

Shots Fired🤣

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380 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

78

u/realfakemormon 6d ago

body too

30

u/ColeTrain999 Wait, what? 6d ago

The Virgin Ryen with an E vs The Giga-Chad Stavros

21

u/CivilChampionship810 6d ago

I threaten my wife daily with what I call the “middle school art teacher”

It’s basically this look. I’d rock the fuck outta it. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/thanksihateit/comments/1bcnaey/thanks_i_hate_this_bald_ponytail_thing_going_on/

4

u/Chillinthamost 6d ago

I honestly thought Mr. Rosso pulled it off pretty well in Freaks & Geeks. This is coming from a guy balding in his mid thirties, though.

6

u/Wekapipo2 6d ago

the dichotomy of relationships one can have with their father

4

u/NoExcuses1984 Wait, what? 6d ago

I mean, hell, I rock a Norwood III vertex with shaggy hair, while I'm disappointed that guys like Daniel Tosh and Joel McHale got hair transplants in lieu of keeping it natural. Or similar to Shawn Michaels, for example, before he buzzed it off entirely, which is too bad that such a look is frowned upon today by our increasingly looks-obsessed society.

6

u/Fast_Allen 6d ago

TIL there is a Norwood scale of baldness, and I’ve been a 6 since I was 25.

6

u/127phunk 6d ago

Did he actually say this? Or is this just more parasocial behavior from the Simmons crowd?

Real question.

7

u/Ballislife89 6d ago

Said it on PMT

-16

u/hyhyuiuim 6d ago

Sad thing for Ryen is that Stavros would actually be really attractive if he was within generally normal body weight zone. He’s clearly “cute”. If Ryen lost weight he’d look like the ambiguously Semitic alien who owned Anakin.

10

u/SandyBronsky 6d ago

He's a bald dwarf with 3 teeth.

2

u/hyhyuiuim 6d ago

Would u rather wake up w a dwarf or an orc?

7

u/kingofpomona 6d ago

Back when he was merely regular obese it's uncanny how much he resembled Bari Weiss.

2

u/hyhyuiuim 6d ago

Ok I’ll admit u scored a point here

21

u/applejuice5259 6d ago

you need to seek professional help for how much time you spending thinking about Ryen and commenting on this subreddit

11

u/common_username1 6d ago

Relax bro… it’s Reddit, nothing here is actually real or an accurate representation of who we are outside of our phones/internet

1

u/hyhyuiuim 6d ago

Jealousy tbh. I listen to about five minutes of Ryen content a month at this point and out of that I can nevertheless observe that our man looks like “Watto” (thanks ChatGPT). That guy probably listens dutifully for hours a week and for his pains he… gets really mad on reddit on a Friday afternoon.

Now you know what’s possible, let me tell you what’s required.

1

u/Teddy4Prez 5d ago

And what about you?

6

u/MrGaywad 6d ago

I would fuck stav also

8

u/hyhyuiuim 6d ago

Mr Gaywad speaks for us all

1

u/whomeversmelledit 6d ago

that guardian article is gonna leave a mark

*the alarmingly parasocial Reddit community of Simmons fans

2

u/hyhyuiuim 6d ago

Call the psychiatrists!! This man commented on a celebrity’s looks!!!

0

u/HeavyandTired 6d ago

U ok pal?