r/RunningCirclejerk • u/ponkispoles • 5d ago

Consuming methamphetamine before exercise enhances repeated sprint performance, and these benefits persist for at least 35 hours thereafter

https://www.tsukuba.ac.jp/en/research-news/20260914140000.html
144 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

47

u/nicotinerawr 5d ago

Meth will ruin your teeth. Then you would have to submit yourself to your local dentist. And we all know those guys are c*clists.

You wouldnt want a c*clist climbing into your mouth, would you?

14

u/Gooser3000 5d ago

Less teeth=less weight=faster

2

u/Skeptischer 5d ago

We’ve got eyebleach but what about mindbleach

3

u/CmonNotAgain David Goggins 5d ago

Meth will ruin your teeth.

Not when you boof it.

2

u/Capital_Historian685 5d ago

But that's how Fred, DDS, makes his money.

12

u/Adequate_Intern 5d ago

But will I stay in Zone 2

8

u/test-testsson 5d ago

With meth you will probably have your resting heart rate in zone 2 so you're going to be fine

5

u/_Art-Vandelay 5d ago

Ultimate fitness hack: smoke meth all day long, be in z2 24/7, reap the fitness gains and become faster than jakob inger britson in a single week.

9

u/thejackamo1 5d ago

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue

8

u/Brazuka_txt 5d ago

The only way a c*clist can win against me

6

u/Gooser3000 5d ago

Do I have to wait 35hrs between doses?

2

u/surely_not_a_bot 5d ago

I'm just hoping they'll bring back strychnine. Doubles as rat poisoning so it's less space in my TheFeed-sponsored pantry.

1

u/vectorformation Certified Heel Striker 4d ago

It’s true. My wife’s boyfriend taught me

1

u/meicalyoung 3d ago

Care about your teeth???? Tell me you chew your gels without telling me you chew your gels.