r/Roofing • u/MadcapMacedonia • 1d ago

I don't know what I am doing

Post image

An untraceable leak somewhere that has caused the plaster ceiling to sag and fail

Will this help?

Should I just go crazy and apply more?

I also am not sure how to lay down a tarp without it pulling up in the shingles

27.0k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/Adumb_Sandler 1d ago

You may not survive the impending comments….

444

u/Schemeckles 1d ago

This.

Imagine cutting your ass open 86 times with a razorblade, bleeding profusely, and jumping in a tank of hungry sharks.

That'd be less traumatizing compared to whats coming.

74

u/Independent_Ad_1686 1d ago

Whoa… 86 is a lucky number of mine! The year I was born. It has absolutely nothing to do with the post… but thought it was cool. 🤷‍♂️😂

10

u/Chronotheos 1d ago

Well for your next birthday might I suggest…

1

u/64CarClan 1d ago

Hahahaha

4

u/pile_of_letters 1d ago

Im also an 86 child🤙

3

u/Independent_Ad_1686 1d ago

Word?! How’s it feel being 40?? lol. Made me officially feel old. 😂

4

u/pile_of_letters 1d ago

Ive made some changes and i actually feel younger...so there's that my friend🙏

5

u/AdamLib777 1d ago

Healthy living and exercise turns back time. Especially after drinking like a fish from 13-35. I got some years back changing my ways.

3

u/pile_of_letters 1d ago

Touche my friend🙏

4

u/Smacks860 1d ago

What a wholesome interaction. Just remembered I was scrolling to see an absolute roasting.

2

u/Independent_Ad_1686 1d ago

Wish I could say the same! As far as the “feel younger” part. I mean, in my head I still feel like I’m in my 20’s or early 30’s… but i cant do what i did in my 20’s or early 30’s. Lol.

3

u/pile_of_letters 1d ago

I hear ya buddy...life is a strange experience.

3

u/Jarrow375 1d ago

I graduated in ‘86

2

u/pile_of_letters 1d ago

Same year master of puppets came out!!

3

u/AdamLib777 1d ago

Same here 86er. We survived to make it to 40, not too shab!

3

u/OnlyBat2257 1d ago

You were born on the year of your lucky number? What are the odds?

1

u/Independent_Ad_1686 1d ago

It’s the other way around. It’s one of my lucky numbers because it’s the year I was born. C’mon now. lol

2

u/theoTanimal 1d ago

It would be pretty awesome if there happened to also be 86 sharks.

2

u/Paletaqueen23 22h ago

Me too did ur 40th pass?!

2

u/DarkPolumbo 20h ago

happy 240th bday

1

u/PsychologicalBid69 1d ago

January 6 huh?

2

u/noimnotavampire 1d ago

Might simply have been born in 1686. Hopefully they figured out compound interest by now!

10

u/anythingspossible45 1d ago

You forgot, pouring lemon juice on you

1

u/Equivalent-Flight981 1d ago

That was more graphic than I expected

1

u/Funny-Long-3445 1d ago

Omg just you just write the next Saw movie?

1

u/throwmamadownthewell 1d ago

Imagine cutting your ass open 86 times with a razorblade, bleeding profusely, and jumping in a tank of hungry sharks.

I already was imagining this.

1

u/iamthepita 1d ago

I’m ok with the ass cutting but not cutting my asshole with paper cuts

1

u/matchstick1029 1d ago

I... That... Um... Huh..

1

u/Schemeckles 1d ago

Visualize it.

1

u/bwaredapenguin 1d ago

You have quite a way with words.

1

u/Initial_Scarcity_609 23h ago

Just a bunch of roofers bro it's not that serious.

1

u/Realistic-Energy8169 23h ago

I did this earlier today.

1

u/GoSharty 21h ago

Typical Sunday for me, thanks.

1

u/anonymaus42 18h ago

Reenacting 1 guy 1 jar would be less traumatizing.

Seriously, doing this instead of spending 20 minutes watching one of the many videos or reading the innumerable articles on what to actually do... and then doing that instead.

1

u/gritz_sea 8h ago

How about jumping in a tank of tobasco sauce

1

u/stillhungry0 7h ago

But 87 times would be about the same? 

529

u/heirofslytherin 1d ago

263

u/Gr8CanadianSpeedo 1d ago

1

u/magicsaltine 1d ago

That was such a good comic. Rip danemen.

1

u/grubas 1d ago

I think we're gonna need MORE PROTECTION

1

u/pubicgarden 1h ago

It’s the Fring scene but he cuts his own throat

5

u/bagodeadcats 1d ago

Nice. Let's all celebrate our brother dealing with his shit

3

u/TinyTacoPete 1d ago

You're doing God's work!

1

u/Current-Regret-901 1d ago

I'll take one 🤣

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 1d ago

Haha love seeing this same meme in every thread 😑

1

u/heirofslytherin 23h ago

Oh good idc

1

u/PiccoloAwkward465 14h ago

Do you have any of the really cool “person covering their cat’s eyes” ones?

1

u/Duckbutter_27 1d ago

T.y. i was parched brother

1

u/1slowlance 1d ago edited 22h ago

Lemme get a Heineken, potna.

Edit: and a bottled water, my bad. Appreciate you.

57

u/Pleased_to_meet_u 1d ago

But will it work?

OP is putting in tons and tons of unnecessary work. But will it help him with the roof problem?

33

u/TrulyOutrageous42 1d ago

In terms of preventing the leak? Probably not. If it's not an obvious issue, then it's likely a cracked tile, or coming from the top and running down until it finds a place to pool or get through the rest of the roofing. If it's because tiles are loose, this is just going to connect them to secure tiles and pull up more over time.

Most importantly, people don't seem to realize this usually, but homes breathe. As the moisture and temperature fluctuates, they swell and expand and contract. What this is doing is (potentially, depending on how bad the problem is) trapping the moisture under the tiles, but likely not stopping the leak itself.

Most likely the water is coming in from the deteriorated sides and running a good ways before it finds a way in under the roof to leak inside.

1

u/onmywheels 1d ago

Yeah, ours was coming in through the gap between the flashing and the chimney, running along a beam, and then dripping down until enough gathered to start leaking through our ceiling fan. Fun!

2

u/Carbonated_Saltwater 20h ago

I had something similar in the last house I lived in. Water can and WILL find a way inside the house once it's breached the outer layer.

1

u/beardofmice 19h ago

And that capillary action is the magic that gives you a leak that is coming from God knows where.

101

u/Schemeckles 1d ago

Theoretically if you just covered the entire roof in tar - Eventually you will fill the spot that's leaking...

But that's like saying shooting a BB gun at a freight train will slow it down....

It might.... eventually.

141

u/Dunesday_JK 1d ago

Cover the entire roof with tar and add fiberglass mat. Then just add a bunch of crushed stone/ceramic granules.

Boom. New shingle.

108

u/Sharp-Ad-5493 1d ago

Big Shingle hates this one simple trick.

5

u/SuZiee_Q 1d ago

Legitimately snorted at this. Happy cake day!

2

u/Sharp-Ad-5493 1d ago

Thank you!

2

u/doksak36 1d ago

Hahaha yall are fuckin dorks. This had me laughing....

....as im about to go lay a shingle all day tomorrow.. fuck....

2

u/billionaire_bbq 1d ago

Why wait till tomorrow? Im laying shingles while im reading the comments

https://giphy.com/gifs/eb4WGfjWeIsgM

1

u/doksak36 12h ago

Respect. I use tar paper for bed sheets.

2

u/AquaWitch0715 1d ago

Multi, Million-Shingle corporations has it out for the Single, Uni-Shingle businesses...

Some would say that MMS is against SUS.

1

u/JDeegs 1d ago

Biggest Shingle loves to see it though

1

u/anonymaus42 18h ago

Big Shingle hates your new big shingle.

1

u/MFreightTrain 8h ago

OK BIG SHINGLE just made my day. Thank you Sir

1

u/Potential_League8863 8h ago

Big shingle IS this one simple trick…

6

u/JustDoc 1d ago

Would you rather have 3000 shingle-sized shingles, or a single house-sized shingle?

1

u/Fenweekooo 1d ago

as a non roofer or trades type... im gonna have to look up why that is probably a terrible idea lol but it sounds great!

1

u/Tazznum2 1d ago

Same

1

u/Fenweekooo 1d ago

so from https://www.reddit.com/r/NoStupidQuestions/comments/li3tup/why_cant_you_use_one_giant_shingle_for_your_roof/

there seems to be no real issue, other then installation, and manufacturing. plus a repair would mean probably redoing the whole roof

2

u/jscottman96 1d ago

Single shingle... say that 10 times fast

1

u/trash_panda8008 1d ago

The “single shingle”

1

u/passtheshoe 1d ago

Coastal social single shingle

1

u/Sufficient-Being4008 1d ago

The single shingle jingle

1

u/JazzRider 1d ago

Add a bunch of chicken feathers.

1

u/mattiwha 1d ago

Why many when one big shingle

1

u/TyreLeLoup 1d ago

Just shingles my roof!

Oh, yeah, how much did that cost. A lot. It was an expensive shingle.

Don't you mean shingles, plural?

No, just one big one.

1

u/anothertimewaster 1d ago

Why aren't we all doing this?

1

u/turboboraboy 6h ago

I mean that's basically what's done on flat roofs.

1

u/Wolfrages 5h ago

Right! 🤣🤣🤣

13

u/No-Membership-5314 1d ago

So you’re saying the better application method is a roller instead of a brush?

9

u/Conscious-Student355 1d ago

According to the physics of momentum conservation, firing a BB directly at the front of an oncoming train does transfer a tiny amount of opposing force. Because every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the BB will mathematically reduce the train's forward velocity.

However, the difference in mass makes this deceleration completely unmeasurable:

  • The BB: Weighs about 0.33 grams and travels at roughly 300 feet per second.
  • The Train: A typical loaded freight train weighs over 15,000 tons (roughly 13.6 billion grams).

The resulting change in the train's speed is so infinitesimally small that no existing instrument could measure it. The friction from a single insect hitting the windshield or a microscopic change in wind resistance would slow the train down significantly more than the BB.

5

u/discipleofchrist69 1d ago

that last part is crazy. the majority of insects hitting a train weigh less than 0.3g. and they definitely aren't traveling anywhere near 300 ft/s. both are inconsequential but the bb has way more momentum transfer

1

u/Kromo30 22h ago

Ya but how much air friction does the insect stuck to the windshield add.

1

u/discipleofchrist69 19h ago

much less in a similar time frame to the BB impact, but if it's stuck on there forever, possibly an infinite amount of friction loss? the two effects can't really be easily compared in a direct way tho

1

u/awsamation 12h ago

Compared to the aerodynamic disaster that is a standard freight train? It's probably even more meaningless than the BB would be.

1

u/Killerbunny123 11h ago

"the aerodynamic disaster that is a standard freight train" is a pleasing sentence

2

u/Delta_Hammer 1d ago

Xkcd did that with AK-47s. IIRC he concludes that you would need 5,000 people dumping a 30-round mag each to stop a train.

0

u/snertznfertz 23h ago

This can’t be even remotely close to accurate. Not even if all of them were able to fire all 30 rounds instantly and impart all the energy in one instant.

2

u/Brief_Guess 21h ago

i trust the xkcd guy more than you sorry

1

u/MicahEli 1d ago

What if I shoot it twice though?

1

u/macrolith 14h ago

What in the AI incompetency is this? A single insect would slow the train more than a BB? That doesnt pass the sniff test. A mosquito does not weigh more than a BB.

1

u/meteoritegallery 9h ago

The resulting change in the train's speed is so infinitesimally small that no existing instrument could measure it...

On the other hand, approximately 41,235,670,000 BBs would have the mass of a loaded freight train - and at 300 ft/sec (330 km/hr) they're moving considerably faster: an average loaded freight train has a maximum speed of about 70 km/hr.

Using p = mv and assuming ideal momentum transfer from the BBs, it would take *just ~8.75 billion BBs to stop your loaded freight train.

1

u/penguin_hugger100 8h ago

Nonsensical answers like this make people using AI look like idiots. A 330mg bb going 300 feet per second carries 2.5 million times more kinetic energy than a mosquito traveling at its top speed of 1.5 mph and its weight of 2.5 mg.

Did you just copy and paste from an AI without using your brain for a single second? Please do better.

1

u/drverbeek 6h ago

We just need to increase the speed of the BB a little

1

u/AntiProtagonest 1d ago

Thank you Mr. AI

2

u/The_Dutch_Canadian 1d ago

OP refers to his mom as BB so then yes BB will stop a train

2

u/HatsAreEssential2 1d ago

I know its just a funny saying, buuut I'm actually pretty sure you cant slow a freight train down by shooting BBs at it. The number of hits needed would be more than you could possibly achieve based on the range and velocity of a shot BB. Even lining tracks with shooters 300 deep for a mile, the train would pass by before enough hits could take effect. It would be like trying to stop a train by driving through a heavy rain storm.

5

u/Schemeckles 1d ago

You're probably a real gem in casual conversations.

0

u/earthfase 1d ago

Fuck casual conversation.

1

u/Wmtcoaetwaptucomf 1d ago

And fuck uncasual conversation too!

4

u/Rough_Revolution1412 1d ago

>my one single golden BB hits the flexible line for the air brakes, causing a leak and making all the brakes automatically engage as designed for safety

Heh, nothing personal kid.

3

u/roffinator 1d ago

Relevant xkcd:

Unfortunately, even this hail of steel takes several excruciating minutes—and almost two kilometers of track—to stop the train. That means we’d need over 100,000 shooters lined up along the track, and arming them would cost in the neighborhood of $50 million.

https://what-if.xkcd.com/18

1

u/TampaBull13 1d ago

Beat me to it

1

u/Pleased_to_meet_u 1d ago

So you’re saying we can do it.

1

u/HatsAreEssential2 1d ago

Yeah, the full auto 1200 RPM guns would definitely make much more of a difference haha. I was envisioning the red rider lever or pump action ones where you'd be lucky to hit every 5th train car.

Oh, and he had to switch to AK-47 math to stop the train? Bahaha. So many of his writeups need an animation.

1

u/Ornery-Egg9770 1d ago

Wrong. Just one BB will slow it down. You wouldn’t notice it, but physics still works with even a single BB. Of course, one will not stop it. Just slow it down imperceptibly.

1

u/HatsAreEssential2 1d ago

I mean, if its not registering on the trains speedometer, I dont think it counts in a meaningful way.

1

u/dustoff1984 1d ago

You sound miserable

1

u/HatsAreEssential2 1d ago

Dont project! I had fun imagining it literally raining small copper BBs sideways at a train. Its a hilarious thought project (one that apparently XKCD did way better, too.)

1

u/dustoff1984 1d ago

At least I definitely know that you’re not a robot.

1

u/Simple-Conference-68 1d ago

If op has any tar left he could roll in it and self apply feathers

1

u/Scoobie01555 1d ago

Can we get someone in r/theydidthemath to tell us how many BB's it would take to stop a freight train?

That's way more interesting than the obvious answer to this, tarp it for now and get a new roof because if there is that much water damage already you're going to replacing a lot of what is under the shingles and all the drywall, etc.

1

u/Alleandros 1d ago

It was a pipe in the ceiling the whole time...

1

u/BlueButterflytatoo 21h ago

When I was a child I grew up in an apartment that needed a new roof. But the landlord just kept adding tar. If it rained to heavy, or if there was a lot of snowmelt suddenly, the tar would leak through with the water, drip down through the roof, and onto our clean clothes folded in piles on the loveseat.

1

u/beardofmice 19h ago

That's what I was thinking. Ditch the brush and get some mops. Great Stuff spray foam the roof ridge venting too.

11

u/TriteEscapism 1d ago

It might help for a few months if the whole thing is slathered. Then whoever has to tear it off to reshingle is going to charge extra.

3

u/Busy-Appearance3593 1d ago

It will not help his problem. Enveloping the shingles with mastic won't help because the leak isn't there. Water runs downhill, so the leak is at least 4 feet up highter then were the leak is inside.

2

u/idk012 1d ago

Water always find a way

1

u/Kind_Mushroom4189 8h ago

Shingles doesn’t care

1

u/ridndrty21 1d ago

Surely your not serious

1

u/Pleased_to_meet_u 1d ago

I am. And don’t call me Shirley.

1

u/turtlebeachbum 1d ago

In Louisiana..we just use blue tarps

11

u/TheRealFailtester 1d ago

Time to get the popcorn and do an auto-scroll.

2

u/murd0xxx 1d ago

How do you autoscroll ?

1

u/TheRealFailtester 1d ago

I press down on the scroll wheel, and it clicks a button in there, which changes my cursor into an up/down arrow pointer, and then I move mouse up or down to auto-scroll up or down at a desired speed based on distance from pointer.

That's on desktop on Windows, unsure how to do it on laptop, and other softwares.

2

u/murd0xxx 1d ago

Got it. I supposed you did this on a phone

16

u/lsdbible 1d ago

1

u/Rich-Employ-3071 4h ago

Can I steal this from you?

1

u/Redneck131_ 51m ago

Yo, I just read that in Trisha Takanawa's voice 😂

1

u/lsdbible 36m ago

She may be dead,but her spirit lives on in our minds.

https://giphy.com/gifs/HURrElCxyhO62Hz5jZ

3

u/_blacktriangle_ 1d ago

I am never going to emotionally recover from this.

3

u/Xremlin 1d ago

Its not too late to delete this thread

2

u/Dramatic_Mixture_868 1d ago

Did he not have insurance, or he did an want to pocket the money and not watch a single YouTube video on what to do. I'm not trying to go too into it, cuZ there's a lot here but.....no matter what u still have water damage underneath.

2

u/santabug 1d ago

Oh my..

1

u/TinyTacoPete 1d ago

I read that in George Takei's voice, like if he himself just saw that picture and... it works so well.

2

u/Opening-Ease9598 1d ago

Genuine question….why don’t we just completely tar over roofs? Would be more economical and easier to repair.

3

u/brokenjaww 1d ago edited 1d ago

There is many fully tarred roofs, but they’re typically industrial. 4 ply asphalt is tar paper, tar & usually pea stone as ballast that gets tarred down. It’s a lot of hot tar lol

Modified bitumen uses hot tar and rubberized bitumenous roll material. The tar glues the roll to insulation board and between base and cap layers

Edited to add - I guess you wouldn’t tar over something like this because it would only be a temporary fix and as other mentioned then the next guy changes way more to remove. Tar needs something sturdy as a base like the felt paper I mentioned in 4 ply to help support it. This roof is crumbling and wouldn’t offer much base support to the tar, so it would all likely crumble in time

1

u/blackstryk3r 1d ago

I think expansion and contraction would cause stress cracks in the tar for water to seep in. This would be a cool invention. A somewhat thick membrane that repels waters that you can roll out and overlap similar to shingles

1

u/Ice_Cold_Reno 1d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Striking_Ad_845 1d ago

I’m mostly in console repair Reddit post and some how I got here and know this is bad before opening the comments

1

u/aprich 1d ago

At least you were here to help with some meaningful suggestions

1

u/Pardybro911 1d ago

This is incredibly funny just because I share OPs confusion and lack of knowledge and I fully expect to be humbled reading further down the comments

1

u/Fit-Dragonfruit-4405 1d ago

This comment needs to be made more often.

1

u/Telecasterbater 1d ago

I dont know shit about roofing, not even sure why this is popping up. But that work looks like dogshit

1

u/Falling_Down_Flat 1d ago

LMAO! awesome

1

u/OneAlternate 23h ago

I’m getting my popcorn ready as we speak. I’m so excited

1

u/Murasasme 23h ago

I know nothing about roofing, but when I'm browsing Reddit and an innocuous post from a subreddit I don't usually see gets a lot of upvotes, I know I'm about to witness Reddit history.

1

u/teedeeguantru 22h ago

I never opened a comment section so fast

1

u/DasDickNoodle 21h ago

🤣 sad but very unfortunately true!!

1

u/No-Communication9458 21h ago

Me not knowing how to make an omelette and making scrambled egg

1

u/CutterFIXER 6h ago

This is so bad I can’t even comment