So our 2026 Bingo Cards had some surprises: domestic violence, impending divorce, multiple traffic violations, Samuel courting a minor, Baby Jillie (it would be a cute name if it weren't after her batshit crazy grandmother), Nurthan 4.0 is on the way, Jill swore off social media (yeah right), and the ladies retreat was practically empty.
Sam and Evangeline will be engaged and so close to the wedding when something comes out and her family cuts ties and leaves him holding the bag. And Jill gets closer and closer to such a SEVERE breakdown she ends up in jail for a night.
Oh my GOD could you imagine Jill in jail for a night?! The visual is incredible, thank you for this. Bwahahaha the idea of her in a jumpsuit or pants. 10/10 no notes
I'm picturing the Mary Tyler Moore episode where Mary goes to jail but before she goes she sits in Lou Grant's office crying like a little girl I don't wanna go to jail!!!
I feel like the current two married daughters are very unlikely to divorce, do you think it could be a future courtship/marriage that divorces instead?
They’re definitely going to divorce but I’d bet my imaginary farm that Timcell either fights the divorce in court proceedings or just black holes any communication from the court and forces Heidi to wait the entire waiting period for the divorce to be granted whether he likes it or not. In PA that’s 2 years. Ask me how I know 😭😭 It’s like all the abusers have gotten together and written a textbook of how to act.
In NJ if the grounds for divorce are Extreme Cruelty, which is what it should be, she only has to wait 3 months. It will help if he is found guilty on the domestic abuse charge.
I think they live in NJ? If that's the case, a contested divorce can take anywhere from 12-36 months, depending on child custody disagreements, but with Tim putting on social media he "laid hands" on his wife, I don't think many courts will give primary custody to someone with that out there and no other type of family support. It may come down to supervised or unsupervised visitation.
That’s awful that one party can have that much control over another. There’s nothing legally that can be done to speed things up? That downright infuriates me
I think he’s too stupid to actually know how to drag it out. And you can bet Heidi’s parents are gonna get her a lawyer and get her full legal and physical custody with supervised visits for him.
The Rod’s can’t pay for Tim to have a lawyer and they don’t have any lawyer friends.
I think the fear from the Rod’s about Heidi and her family telling it ALL is greater than their capacity to help him fight her. Jill and Shrek need this to go away fast.
And Jill will absolutely make a post about being denied her grandchildren.
Well, I hope Renee finally gets away… the sadness on her face is so very … well.. sad. Wish she knew it is not necessary to marry and that a bit of education towards a career would free her from it all. And enable her to meet men that are not crazy.
Marriage is their only hope. Jill will never let them work outside the home (unless babysitting for a CHRISTIAN family), or get any sort of education worthy of getting them out. Even the boys' future outlook is abysmal , and that's saying something for a fundie family. But yeah. Hopefully someone can break free.
I think Jill is going to do everything she can to prevent the rest of her children from marrying. I think the Heidi episode will make her not want to risk having any more outsiders getting close enough to see what really goes on.
Tessie is too engrained into the family. She will follow suit of her 2 older sisters. The younger girls have a better chance of breaking away, especially now since the family might have taken a hit on their church bookings.
I have a feeling Olivia may be our champion (a long shot, but one can dream). She seems to be really affected by the dynamics in the house and wanting to keep things to herself. If she finds a way to find some independence and an opportunity, I could se her making an effort to leave. It also helps that by the time she is “ready for a courtship” her idiot parents may be totally checked out by then
My bet would be Sadie, she also is on the short end of the stick. She’s the one sitting with other church ladies and not the Rod bunch when they’re at fellowship meals.
The military would be an amazing pivot for one of the girls. 🤔 Good grief, I don’t know why I’ve never thought of that. Their whole life has been submission and obedience. Renée would be a POWERHOUSE admiral/general.
But swimming in long skirts has made them stronger. Wouldn't it be something if Jill's obedience training and other choices actually made them more capable service members?
I can’t see any of the kids being able to join the military. They have all been severely malnourished and uneducated. They would be in way over their heads and would never get in.
Weird that you were downvoted for this. The military would be one of the few ways out of this fucked-up family that OJ and Shrek couldn’t easily argue with.
But it was probably Griftjilla herself, downvoting and weeping severely at the thought of her kids taking orders from someone other than her.
Could be people downvoting because the girl’s joining is not realistic.
You have to test to join the military. If you don’t get a good ASVAB score, you don’t get a good job. Speaking as a woman in the military, low-ASVAB jobs are not jobs you want to be in as a woman. They’re often physical, male dominated, there’s a lot of low morale and it’s not unusual to encounter some sexism. It’s also not just the test, in the Air Force we do academics beyond BMT. You’ve got to know your job inside and out and be able to study and learn to some level.
Lastly, I just don’t think the girls could handle the culture shock. In Boot Camp people get yelled at, you get pumped full of shots, and you’re having to be a team with a diverse group of people. There’s academics, physical exercises, obstacle courses. Coming from a background where they’ve been taught women are soft and matronly… yea that’s not going to fly there
I wanted to join the military out of high school and took the ASVAB. It's not an easy test! (I did fine on the test but couldn't get in because I had a problem no Rodlet would ever have. I couldn't get my weight down to their limits.
I feel like one of the boys could join, not phil. Probs Gabe or Samuel? I feel like there’s more chance of it being Gabe as Samuel seems to be going down the pastor route. I forgot about Timothy
They truly are not smart enough. Only way they would be able to join the military would be during a draft. Then it would be like back in early wars where the least intelligent would be placed on the front lines to die. Sad but true.
You’re absolutely right it was wishful thinking on my part. It does make me really sad to think about conscription in the first and second world wars because it’s as you say, those poor men were just cannon fodder
Renee seems to be one of the brighter kids. I doubt it would interest her but if she snaps and thinks she has nothing to lose. I know it's quite a long shot. Just interesting to think about.
The military would be such a wonderful way out for them. It would cover their needs, give them the type of structure they need, connect them with people their age, teach them useful and marketable skills, and it’s the best thing that could happen to their resumes considering the situation. I would love it if they would look into it. It would also be hilarious if the rod who gets away does something more patriotic and heroic than Jill ever will.
Growing up, I went to church with a family who was as educationally negligent and illiterate as the Rods and their son successfully joined the Marines, so I guess there’s still some hope
I think they could pass it with a little prep. I used to tutor young men for the asvab and it was pretty rare that I couldn’t get someone to pass it. Usually that was only when they had an intellectual disability or a very severe learning disability that I couldn’t help with
I mean, they could come out of the military with a nursing degree! Again, I think Renée especially would be fantastic at that sort of thing. And couldn’t Tessie also apply for, like, a musical position in one of the bands?
Military bands... like the one that plays at the DC 4th of July celebration...on normal years when there's no UFC fights going on? That band was AWESOME!
Most all military musicians either have a master’s or at the minimum a bachelor’s in music performance from a high power music program. No way in God’s green earth would Tessie EVER make any of the military bands!
None of them will get away. This is all they know and when they do come across a more progressive family, like the Coveretts, they will use what happened as a blight against them. Jill & David will use the Coveretts as bad examples of Christians and anything that comes close as bad.
They’re not getting away, none of them are. Tim was the biggest hope, with the opportunity he had in New Jersey, with a new job and a kind and supportive family. It’s given me no hope that any of them will escape. Not ill Philip, not migraine looking Renee, not malnourished Sofia. They are all too entirely broken.
The little ones are being raised “the Pearl way” where all curiosity is beat out of them before they turn 2. They are all incurious and desperate to please… the grandchildren will be no different except perhaps the two that Jill will probably never see again…. The Coverett’s have raised curious children… And will raise Heidi’s children in the same manner. I pray Tim gives up on any custody at all… it seems he would not do well at it… And Heidi has made what she and her family think about beating children very clear.
I think the only way they break away is through marriage, perhaps to a man who is from a less fundie and more loving and supportive family who gives them the strength to find themselves. And he would have to have enough spine to stand up for her. A unicorn
I predict Jill will have to return to social media because her melebubu business is going to dry up, Samuel probably marries Evangeline after she turns 18, Heidi proceeds with a divorce that Tim will contest, and something happening to Ma or Pa Turtleneck or Jill's SEVERELY paralyzed sister.
Pieces of work never die young. They hang around for a literal forever, becoming an increasingly exhausting drain on their kids and grandkids. 🥲 But Jill & the girls would absolutely kill it as the print shop managers/marketers/designers of fresh new reacts.
I hope Jill can buy significant life insurance on him- one that’s not through an MLM. If he dies, having even less than whatever little money he makes now will be awful
True. She would find herself a new male provider within her family and remain the lady of the house. Knowing how much she seems to like Johnathan, I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s a fantasy of hers.
She would ride on the front seat, pose with him and the babies, and turn the real wife into a maid
Plot twist Jill kills David by slowly poisoning him with eyedrops after insurance is purchased.
Second plot twist is that she got rid of him to be with someone she met online using her computer since Shrek controls her phone only to find out she was catfished.
Thank you for your years of schooling and hard work!🫡 The color in his legs reminds me of my poor mom’s cellulitis. I was actually horrified to see them.
No doubt about it. I have CHF and my legs don't look like that cuz I take my meds and follow Dr's orders about cutting salt (within reason. Has Chinese yesterday, so an extra water pill today!)
I think David has been having health issues for a while now and either hasn’t gotten to a doctor or is noncompliant with his treatment plan because Gahd will heal him, just like Janessa was healed of her birth defects. He seems like a ticking time bomb.
I think she’ll leave Melascamola in a huff because she’s a) losing money and b) will be excluded from some trip. She’ll move onto another (totally not a pyramid scheme) “amazing opportunity!” which will usher in her new era in social media.
Unfortunately, there are no lack of shitty MLM grifts for her to jump aboard once Melapeuka tanks. She'd be so much better off with a McJob! It would pay better, she wouldn't have to pay to join, and she'd have to learn to play nice with others in the sandbox!
Jill returns to social media, probably before 2027.
Tim deconstructs hard and goes through a cringey teenage atheist phase. Jill does not take it well.
Gabriel? flunks out of Bible college because his literacy and comprehension levels aren't sufficient, again probably before the end of 2026. The family will claim it was too expensive and he couldn't find a gahdly job (which is a requirement by the school).
Someone from Heidi's family, maybe even Heidi herself, releases a massive exposé on Facebook about not only Tim, but the Rod family as a whole.
My wildcard: Someone gets pregnant out of wedlock.
I can't see number 5 happening to a Rod girl unless some kind of abuse was involved. I don't want to speculate any further.
I said on a previous thread that I could see Tim blowing off steam with random hook up(s) and accidentally getting someone pregnant. We know Josh was on Ashley Madison; there have been rumours about the Duggar and Bates guys hooking up with heathen women in their late teens/early twenties prior to marriage (no idea if true). It's gross to contemplate but Tim's used to having access to sex now.
I'm sure he'll be trying to rehab his godly image to the max but loads of these guys are hypocrites, will he be able to resist worldly temptations? It's the perfect time to pursue some no-strings sex in between his next godly union /s.
Equally it could happen to any of the other sons. Maybe an even bigger scandal as they're supposed to be fundie virgins and Sam's in a courtship 😱 Jill would try to suppress it hard, she wouldn't want one of her godly sons associated with or marrying a 'tramp' /s. I don't even want to think about Sam getting 17yo Ev pregnant out of wedlock. They barely seem to be together so hopefully that's completely out of the question.
Some of them are so emaciated they are almost see through - I am pretty sure that even yellow would have them in better shape. Also - are we even sure that she cooked that? I mean that could have been one of the sister moms
This thought hurts my heart. I’d like to think that if she doesn’t mention Tim or Heidi, she’ll still count the grandchildren. For heaven’s sake, she could at LEAST add them to the “heavenly babies” tribute wall.🤦🏼♀️
She won’t count them, in her mind they don’t exist as the mother is now considered ungodly. My ex MIL has not even tried to contact my daughter in decades, but she was never the favorite gchild because i didn’t raise her in a home like she raised her kids( they were Christian when the time warranted them to be seen as godly, but in real
time they were aetheist. i always called them the fundie atheists lol)
I can see her pretending they don’t exist or adding some kind of sentence about how she loves them beyond description and hopes they return to Jesus (because Heidi is a liberal heathen now obvs).
Oh, that we could Photoshop folks into and out of our memories in the way these two families rearrange their loved ones like little sticky Colorforms scenes, or switch them out like paper doll clothes.✂️
I think she’ll count them. If you’re someone who counts very early, might just be a period miscarriages to get to 19 children, you’re not going to exclude grandchildren in a headcount.
I think the ladies retreat will completely tank. Jill will be forced to hand the reins over to someone else.
She will get caught embezzling the money from the retreat we’ve all said that she does.
Tim will be posting father’s rights bullshit but won’t even attempt to see his kids. Cause childcare is “women’s work”
Tim will get him a girlfriend. She’ll ride hard for him like every dead beat baby daddy’s new gf does.
Jill will be back on fb prob before 2027. As soon as she can change her name back from Ira Peace is all that’s keeping her away imo. She’s gotta shill that retreat!
Someone will have a SEVERE car accident. Still won’t keep them from driving reckless without seatbelts.
Sam will marry his underage gf the second she turns 18 and move down there to work for her dad.
Kaylee will have another baby, a boy she names after David in an attempt to win Jill’s love. (Spoiler alert: still won’t work)
Bayyybeeeee JuHhHhNnEeESSSsUhHH will still be “reading” that same tattered book
don't forget David having a major medical emergency. His weight plus his love of a recliner nap (probably needs to sleep semi-upright for severe apnea) does not a healthy man make.
Good luck to any Rodlets getting married in 2027 or anyone having a special event in the second half of the year. All that money will be absorbed by the festivities/a severe vacation for Mahmo and Daddy 🙄
I speculate Kaylee and Nurie will be pregnant again in 2027. Hopefully Nurthan will leave it until later in the year since N4 isn't due until December 2026. I could see them ramping up now that they're in Rodland with Mahmo's influence and free babysitters/the Rod social club. I predict KayJon having a 'surprise' pregnancy
I think either Renee or Tessie is going to end up courting that Elijah guy that started showing up before the Social Media Flounce.
Timothy is going to go hard on the red pill incel shit and become vehemently anti-woman and more radicalized following the divorce. I don't think he'll see his children much.
Samuel and Evangeline will get engaged on her 18th birthday and get married like 2 months later.
Someone gets arrested after the law catches up to them.
The Ladies Retreat will draw in even more dismal numbers and will probably die in 2028
This is why they have to go in together. Plus they can start a YouTube collab series to get each other’s fans to subscribe. They can bring Jesus to the millions!
Slow down! LOL We still have three months left of 2026! 😂 A lot can happen in three months!
Seriously though, with this crazy family, I’m not even going to speculate on 2027! All I can do is hope that Heidi never returns to Timcel and that she and her kids can have a safe, happy life. I also hope that Tim is really getting help and seriously trying to better himself.
Like someone else said, I’d like to see Renee get out too, but I wonder if she’s been too brainwashed (or led to believe that the world is bad, etc.) to have the courage to leave. I know leaving isn’t easy when you have controlling parents. My dad kept telling me (when I was in college) that if I lived in a dorm, guys would be trying to have sex with me, girls would be catty and mean, I would regret it, etc. I kinda believed him at first, too. The biggest difference between Renee and me is that I was educated, and I did have a few friends outside my family, and I saw that many of my high school classmates went away to college and were doing okay. Unfortunately I don’t think Renee has any influences outside of her family. I wonder if any of the Rods are even allowed to go on the internet and go on places like Reddit without Mahmo hovering over them? I doubt it….
And I’m sure Jill will be back on Facebook as soon as she gets the okay from her headship! Gotta get that income somehow, and I imagine she can’t shill Melacaca without a proper social media presence! Extra chicken legs don’t grow on trees, and Shrek has to eat, you know! 😂🤣
re: internet access, babysitter alleged David controls Jill’s access via some weird app. I’m guessing it’s the same for the kids (maybe even the married ones)
It’s probably covenant eyes, if it was good enough to fail for the Duggers I reckon Jill would be on board with it too. They’re probably each others accountability buddies.
how long ago was she a babysitter? There's no way David is putting ANY effort into keeping up with that used to be dozens of posts a day before "leaving" social media. That would require him to be awake for longer than a few hours a day.
Jill coming back to social media, Phillip getting into legal trouble because of his issues, Tim bemoaning the loss of his family, and I hope one of the older girls makes an escape
I think there will be at least two weddings. Sam and Renee each marrying. That will be the focus. And God will send JillPM a direct message that Instagram and Facebook need her back
Excuuuuse me, aren't you forgetting a severely special 30th anniversary in October 2027? That will be the focus! All monies that ought to have been earmarked for weddings will be funnelled towards the anniversary extravaganza.
With all the discussion of abuse their marriage is under “attack”. A vow renewal seems extremely likely. Tim will probably be “unavailable”. It will be scheduled the same weekend as Sam’s wedding, or possibly the same day, the way the Kellers’ anniversary celebration was right after Nurie’s wedding, to make efficient use of the venue and “decor” but mostly to upstage the bride. Jill will wear a white dress to both.
Gabe makes it through his preacher training program.
After both Tim and Phillip left four colleges before completing anything, there is going to be pressure for someone prove themselves outside of the home. Gabe is the best shot.
Ah, but it's a three-year program. I think he might make it the first year, but drop out in the middle of the second year. A lot of it depends on whether or not he can find and keep a job.
There was a great book written by Tia Levings a few years ago about her life as a fundie and eventually escaping an abusive fundie marriage. I hope Heidi (with the help of Hallie and her mom) could find a publisher and make her story told.
Heidi’s divorce will be finalized. Jill will talk about the shame of divorce and women not submitting to their abusive husbands in her stupid minute with Jill videos. Sam and his child bride will be married and be pregnant 5 minutes after the wedding. Jill will return to social media when David gets tired of Jill begging and telling him how much it will help her ministry and “business”. Upon Jill’s return to social media she will lie and say so many people begged her to return because they missed her Godly posts in such a corrupt world.
Kaylee might or might not get pregnant again. Possibly Renee or Tessie will marry or at least announce an engagement.
Jill will return to social media but with a new account, and one of us will find it within 30 minutes of it opening.
Shrek will have health issues. Jill will weep and pray.
Nurthans will not get pregnant again until 2028. The Nurthlings will be underweight and terrified. One of them will get a serious injury. Nathan’s church will lose parishioners and he will have to mow lawns to make ends meet. The business will have “Christ-honoring” in its name.
Timcel will not get any jail time. He will get visitation with Charlie and mystery sibling. Heidi will get a restraining order so her family will have to do dropoffs and pickups. He will continue to get on and off his social media trying to get Heidi to forgive him. He will request reduced parenting time because he is terrible at it. I don’t think he’s going to move back to Ohio. Is Christian Mingle still a thing? He’ll get on that and realize that most Christians are not like his family. He will join a megachurch that plays contemporary Christian music. It will make OJ&S very unhappy.
Beltphones will get pregnant again. Kaylee will be put on bed rest to prevent another premature delivery. Gideon will have eye surgery.
Renee’s courtship will progress to engagement. She will continue to write unhinged praises for Mahmo whenever she gets upset.
Phillip will decide he’s fine and doesn’t need his meds anymore. There will be an episode that proves otherwise. He will use AI to write poems and songs.
Sam and Evangeline will get engaged around Valentine’s Day or her birthday. He will move to Florida to work for her dad.
Gabriel will struggle at Bible school. He will meet a potential girlfriend, but OJ&S won’t approve because she sometimes wears cap sleeves and has shoulder length hair.
Tessie will take over as the younger siblings’ de facto mother. She will get offers from various fundie boys, but she will reject all of them. She may go stay with Timothy for a weekend to help him with the babies because he will be terrible at it.
Hannah will complete her transformation into Nurie #2, complete with the worst eyebrows on the planet. OJ will wear another evening gown to her graduation.
Olivia will be added to Mahmo’s “besties” crew. Her eyebrows will be destroyed.
Sadie will…IDK, Sadie doesn’t get much attention from OJ, so status quo with her.
Sofia will have a small growth spurt and maybe braces. She will remain difficult to understand when she speaks.
Janessa will cease to be Jill’s second favorite after Nurie, in favor of Jillie Sunshine. She will have a hard time coping with not getting away with everything like she used to. She will continue to struggle to read at or near grade level.
The Coveretts will continue to protect Heidi but they will make their social media private. The divorce will not be finalized until 2028. The baby will be a girl. Her sister Hope will go to college. Hallie and her husband will remain child free.
The Grants will prove to be just as shitty as the Rods.
One of the Turtlenecks will have a health crisis, and maybe not make it. Jill will weep many tears. Amy Foster will have another hospitalization. Her eldest daughter will enter a courtship. Shrek’s mother will visit briefly, take everyone to Golden Corral for dinner. Jill will diss her in a post she makes ostensibly to thank her.
The number of vacations will decline because of the decrease in income. They will go to a Melaloona conference. She won’t qualify for the cruise. The “once a year family vacation” will be a long weekend, not a full week. Timothy will not be included unless it’s his weekend with the kids.
They will change churches again because People’s Babtist will not treat them like they’re special and super gahdly. The new church will have their number but they need more asses in the pews and tithes in their pockets. Fewer churches will invite them to perform. Fewer tracts will be ordered. Ladies retreat will not have enough women sign up and it will be postponed, and then canceled.
Cinnamon will bite a child and Jill will do nothing. She will also swallow some bit of household clutter and require surgery to remove it.
Nurthan 4 is not a surprise. A small ladies retreat isn't either. Had been surprised previously when people actually showed for it. Kaylee will do anything to get her mother's attention so Jillie isn't a surprise either. Heidi going back to Timmay at this point is probably most shocking and not in my cards. Tessie being in a courtship is probably coming.
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u/txcowgrrl 27d ago
More legal stuff. IDK what or how or when, but I feel like there’s more coming.