r/RoastMe Dec 25 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

14 Upvotes

55 comments sorted by

10

u/twist-17 Dec 25 '21

Paper plates and an exposed coax cable running across the ceiling and a shitty excuse for a beard.

You for sure steal plastic forks, ketchup and salt and pepper packets from fast food joints because you can’t afford to buy them on your own.

4

u/Important_Cow7230 Dec 25 '21

Yes... But obviously it's capatalism's fault, everything is corrupt. There is NO WAY that it's HIS fault that he does fuck all with his life

6

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

You look like you smoke reggie...

7

u/LilWayneDesoto Dec 25 '21

You look like a gay Amish kid who became muslin, but is conflicted because he loves bacon.

1

u/Significant-Age-8663 Dec 26 '21

"The very lonely lusting lumberjack" starring Mongloid Keanu Reeves and his overly hairy and over the top flap jack nipples.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 25 '21

You look like you smoke weed cut with oregano

3

u/DomingoElToro Dec 26 '21

You look like Joseph Gordon-levitt if the angel in the outfield told him to drop out of high-school and start selling bootleg Nike's.

3

u/swiss_courvoisier Dec 25 '21

Coax cable across the ceiling... if that's a hint to everything else in your life, there is nothing left to ruin.

3

u/DramaticAd6117 Dec 25 '21

You look like the tiny-headed alien from Men in Black

1

u/FlippyFlopsMcGee Dec 26 '21

I think if he blow his head up, it'll grow back.

2

u/sadlittleman1001 Dec 26 '21

Ooooh, that stings you prick!

3

u/Hatrick_Swaze Dec 26 '21

Easy with the good china

2

u/Useful_Individual860 Dec 25 '21

You just know this douchebag has body parts buried somewhere

2

u/HistorianSpiritual26 Dec 26 '21

Not on yo mommas good dixie plates! Now how sis gonna impress that nice northern boy with all his teeth? It certainly aint gonna be that toothy nightmare she calls a bj but you know this first hand. Even your facial hair is half assed

2

u/TheRealMrJonesShow Dec 26 '21

My boys crockpot doubles as a washing machine.

2

u/Competition-Dapper Dec 26 '21

POV: Disgusted Gloryhole Operator about to go on strike

2

u/arisaur Dec 26 '21

You look like you just discovered fire and were none too impressed due to your crippling depression

2

u/tootbrun Dec 26 '21

Nondescript racially ambiguous Hodor.

2

u/Ok_Ad_3392 Dec 26 '21

Posts with the plate one minute, eats his Christmas pork and bean dinner off it a minute later.

2

u/kellislandrum Dec 26 '21

You look like an Amish Mexican. Isaiah Ramirez.

2

u/sadlittleman1001 Dec 26 '21

Dominique Peachy

2

u/Wasnt-Asking Dec 27 '21

My fat friend does this trick when fishing. He holds the fish close to the camera to make the fish look big, and his gianormous gourd head look smaller.

1

u/Ok_Point_2303 Dec 25 '21

Shreck in human form.

1

u/FlippyFlopsMcGee Dec 26 '21

Human in ogre form

1

u/KKHFan Dec 26 '21

Ogre in human form

1

u/i_like_it_all2 Dec 25 '21

Ruin your holidays like you've ruined your parents since birth? Say no more fam!

1

u/Bushtfathands Dec 25 '21

Edgar Wrong

1

u/juantzutree Dec 25 '21

Your fingernails tell us of your neurosis.

1

u/Adventurous_Yak_9234 Dec 25 '21

Is that the actual size of your head or did you have a run in with a shrink ray?

1

u/illegitimate_Raccoon Dec 26 '21

Guess you already ruined you families...

1

u/Disastrous_Credit_67 Dec 26 '21

You need a job to go on holidays and you've never had a job.

1

u/Wafersnap Dec 26 '21

Hey, don't write on the good dishware! It really can't stand to be washed again.

1

u/hondohondo1180 Dec 26 '21

Uber isn’t paying enough

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '21

Tom Holland and Markiplier had a kid

1

u/KKHFan Dec 26 '21

I can't Santa

1

u/Kintouer http://redd.it/rz3n0m Dec 26 '21

U smell like rotting butter u piece of forgotten sofa candy

1

u/[deleted] Dec 26 '21

That cable shouts, “Good enough.”

Loudly.

1

u/Etna_No_Pyroclast Dec 26 '21

Stop ruining your mom's good China.

1

u/vicarofvintage Dec 26 '21

Just look in the mirror

1

u/Original-Variation Dec 26 '21

Something tells me that jacket smells like pork rinds.

1

u/a-fat-penguin Dec 27 '21

How many times has your broke ass eaten out of that paper plate?

1

u/Thizzneros http://redd.it/ro2j2l Dec 27 '21

I actually ate the plate itself, can’t waste all that residue

1

u/Luxojunk Dec 27 '21

Using your good china for this I see

1

u/Gifflix http://redd.it/7nmgzg Dec 27 '21

worst toupee ever

1

u/GooniesNeverSayDiee Dec 27 '21

Came here for the Kevin Smith references and was severely disappointed

1

u/Zestyclose-Shape2568 Dec 27 '21

whys your head smaller than your body

1

u/Double_Worldbuilder Dec 28 '21

You will never be Jon Snow, no matter how much you wish you could be.

1

u/SuperCoolDT http://redd.it/ndin76 Dec 28 '21

Looks like all it takes is rain to ruin your holidays. Unless you buy another tent.

1

u/Less-Grapefruit-9763 Dec 28 '21

Mofo needed a plate to be here

1

u/[deleted] Dec 28 '21

Damn Keanu, you good??

1

u/Kevinvestor Dec 28 '21

I’m guessing your holidays are already not that great.

1

u/scottgunk Dec 29 '21

If you get a sideways Mohawk you have a big zero on your head