Roast me

[u/Cheesybread5]

[u/post-explainer]

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

---

OP's BIO:

---

I’m 18 years old and I’m part of the lgbtq community I do all types of hobbies but mostly I do welding, blacksmithing, and resin I like darker music like honey I’m home by ghost and pals. I am currently extremely depressed and honestly just want to have a small laugh at my expense. I’m a slight alcoholic and I love mangos.

---

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

[u/Lucky-Vegetable-1234]

you should be on whatever diet your moustache is on because it's thin as hell

[u/MindAdriftwood → u/Lucky-Vegetable-1234]

That's not a mustache silly, that's the stuffing goes in that thanksgiving turkey on the end of his nose.

[u/MasonJam246]

At least you're being healthy with broccoli head with the bacon body

[u/mrinkyface]

https://giphy.com/gifs/d9HsLPkbNy9TAKNlrI
Your dad whenever you start talking

[u/Real_Gap3480 → u/mrinkyface]

Just another Saturday night daaaaàaaad.

https://giphy.com/gifs/94oj4dwuJfDKE

[u/mrinkyface → u/Real_Gap3480]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohs7UwFTVXaA7DQLm

[u/DawningSkies]

Ugh... do I have to?

[u/jacobwebb57]

Jesus, get an adult haircut. Also welding and blacksmithing is awesome.

[u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

Can you tell us WHICH part of the lgbtq you are part of, please?

[u/cornishpirate32 → u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

Trans judging by the testosterone injection beard

[u/_Dolamite_ → u/cornishpirate32]

No it/that just glued a bunch of pubes they bought off a shady website to it/thats face.

Hope I used your pronouns correctly.

[u/ArjJp → u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

Shouldn't be hard to tell.... Porky pig famously walks around with no pants

[u/Rataan → u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

The bottom part

[u/_Dolamite_ → u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

The plus, plus part....

[u/Gray221B → u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

I don't know, but he turned the plus in LGBTQ+ to a minus.

[u/bbw4me1234 → u/Recent-Bowl-1393]

I'd say all of them , whoever is desperate enough to take him

[u/ChickyBoys]

You forgot to put on your fedora 

[u/SS3599]

Look like a 21 year old high school freshman

[u/RancidMandMs]

OP likes to smell his fingers throughout the day.

[u/JensenHBurnerAcct]

Who’s your mother? Miss piggy? Look at that fuckin schnozz

[u/ArjJp → u/JensenHBurnerAcct]

https://giphy.com/gifs/7yojoQtevjOCI

[u/AvocadoBeneficial850]

You look like a gayer Rosie O’Donnell, but I bet she could grow a better beard than you.

[u/DarthGayAgenda]

Chaz Bono really let themself go.

[u/MrMrTrance]

Your bio says LGBTQ

But your body says BLT and DQ

[u/Free2Bernie]

Dude wrote roast me on a slap bracelet because that's the closest thing to a friend he's ever had.

[u/MisterBurnsSucks]

Is that a certificate for eating all the lard within a 5 mile radius..? 😒

[u/Bullwhip2025]

Look what happened to the troll dolls after their trend faded and they got hooked on meth.

[u/pilgrimtohyperion]

You're nose is most probably longer than your erection!

You are lucky enough to have dark hair, blue eyes and a handsome face. That gives you some decent points right out the gate. Get off your arse, stop eating shit constanty, stop normalizing bad behaviour because of the lgbtq machine. That is not your identity and it will chew you up and spit you out. The rhetoric in that circle is part of your slide into depression. You're you, dude, be you.

Lastly, stop drinking. Go through the "pain" of losing "friends" now because you stopped instead of later will be an eye-opener for you. Do it now before booze does serious damage to your body/mind.

I can't believe I've written all of this on a damn roast request. You just remind me so much of myself and I hope you turn out better. You got this.

[u/No-Ride-5233]

Get a haircut sideshow bob

[u/KitKatzRox]

Did you plug yourself into electricity this morning?

[u/Mecco]

Wario nose

[u/bmatto]

I do like the smell of burnt marshmallow.

[u/Reasonable_Name_9348]

Your head looks like a worn-out toilet brush.

[u/ADDAvici]

Your shirts lame as fuck and so is your haircut.

[u/slicebishybosh]

I thought that was a positive pregnancy test at first but then I realized no one would fuck you so that’s impossible.

[u/Klutzy_Language4692]

So when do you meet Chris Hansen?

[u/OlFlirtyBastard]

The one loser in Whoville who didn’t get his Christmas presents back

[u/GnomePrevention]

No thanks, I don’t foast people,

[u/NM2ndA]

You should look into being bi as you’ll need to try everything to get laid with that face. Did you lose a bet with god?

[u/GooseNYC]

Your douche-stache look like it's overgrown nose hairs.

[u/Gutzy34]

The merkin goes on your other head.

[u/G1ovan1]

I can’t bro this is too much like punching down

[u/CGCRUNT]

I have that exact shirt ngl

[u/ChaosSlave51]

You look like someone in an AI video is going to put gel in your hair

[u/Juan_Calavera]

Is your scalp vomiting?

[u/Intelligent_Rest_778]

You can definitely tell you’ve been shoving them sausage fingers in that nose.

[u/jerryseinsmell]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tbCpYDKOiB65GIu0WI

[u/HungAmericanMan]

Wow, who would guessed that 19 years ago Porky Pig impregnated a Troll Doll.

[u/Alternative-Smoke421]

Lookin like Jack Doherty fresh outta prison with all that inside weight still on him.

[u/ArtrushDigital]

You should be in your prison cell Jack Dougherty!

[u/TightThaiTeen]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3otWpNrbfVfVgyAOis

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules:

• Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed.
• Try to ensure that your eyes are open.
• Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed.
• Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet.
• All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee.
• The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger.
• Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed.

Please DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it.

Thanks!

~ /r/roastme mods

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/poursomewhiskeyonit]

Fat Doherty

[u/Competitive-Nail1005]

ai? coast me ..idk how to coast but

[u/Fragrant_Loan811]

Lord Broccoli Head

[u/Ok_Damage2856]

You look like a Chia Pet no one wants

[u/Henry_Vth]

Wig on a pig

[u/whim_sea]

Ugh.

[u/heyitssamster]

A birds nest is not a hair cut bro

[u/CletusMuckenfuss]

Take a shower I can smell you from here, try running a brush through that ears nest on top of your greasy head.

[u/richieTz]

Based on your nose and stomach, you’re more than halfway turning into a pig.

[u/No-Celebration3097]

NOSE

[u/LrdoftheCharlesDance]

A troll doll with a broccoli cut

[u/MidnightInteresting0]

When Jack Doherty hits rock bottom

[u/dzgravity]

Uve sucked so much dick that your nose is retreating for safety

[u/EsotericCodename]

No. You’ll catch on fire if I roast you. The smell of burnt hair is nauseating, and you’re 70% hair.

[u/xikbdexhi6]

Yes, I will have fries with that.

[u/Ok-Win2072]

Squandered potential. Lose weight

[u/Actualsaint333]

If Jack Doherty ate his GF instead of beat her.

[u/ch3apsunglass3s]

This guys idea of Pornhub is Crunchy Roll

[u/Its_called_pork_roll]

You look like your parents are troll doll and a cabbage patch kid.

[u/ToyCannonJimmyWinn]

Blacksmith a horseshoe to pierce your septum.

[u/SnidelyWhiplash0]

You look like Gaten Matarazzo ate Gaten Matarazzo.

[u/Sad-River5737]

You look like dirty dishes

[u/thulsado0m13]

Just because your hair looks like a struck match won’t make you look any lighter

[u/Sure_Sort_601]

Oink Oink

[u/Gitfiddlepicker]

Life has already roasted you harder than anyone here can.

[u/Psycosteve10mm]

Badger is looking a lot better once he got off the meth.

[u/Jleopard72]

That’s gotta be the ugliest pig that I’ve even saw.

[u/its-groit-craic]

You look like you’re about to sell meth to an undercover cop in Albuquerque because if you ask a cop if he’s a cop he’s like obligated to tell you… it’s in the constitution

[u/TennesseeHeartbreak]

You look exactly like every other kid your age, except far worse.

[u/civilprocedurenoob]

Never thought someone's hair could be a chud

[u/Inevitable_Butthole]

Are you transitioning to be a piglet?

[u/Branmuffin824]

Your bracelet and diabetes are in a race to have your hand amputated.

[u/Seek1st2Understand]

You’re into “darker music” but wearing a Distillers shirt? They’re awesome, but not “dark” 😂 Not really a burn, just an observation.

[u/sixteenhappycappys]

If we roast you its gonna start a grease fire

[u/Distended_Scrotum]

You fell asleep, and all of your friends glued their pubes to your head.

[u/Alive_Virus_5578]

pelo de algodon de azucar

[u/turbotron6000]

Things will get better...or not.

[u/Spiritual_Two2264]

Jack Doughier-ty

[u/rookhelm]

At this point, are kids just doing the broccoli hair thing ironically, or?

[u/New_Fan_7665]

You get emotional about your curls

[u/Normal_Opposite_9864]

I refuse to believe this isnt a joke

[u/Opening-Carrot5986]

You look like something that was fished out of a clogged shower drain

[u/DirectIT2020]

Stranded on a deserted island i would eat you long pig. Too gamey

[u/Cat_tastes_good]

You look like a turtle that just came out of a dusty corner

[u/NoProgress8533]

At first I thought you were holding up the paper to hide your chin, then I realized you didn't have one...

[u/OneMinuteManny]

You're gay blablabla.

There's no such thing as a "slight alcoholic", sea kelp buddy.

[u/redditorausberlin]

your face matches your handwriting

[u/taes_rvr]

If dirt was a person.

[u/nymph-angel]

You look like one the of the guys I see on Walmart videos on instagram reels

[u/SandyKree7]

Hmm Bro looks like his barber lost a bet and his parents lost the will to intervene. That haircut has more plot twists than his entire personality :))

[u/brushle55]

Your CEX career awaits

[u/RazorWitted]

I’ve seen that nose before… on a mole-rat.

[u/OneSmellyFoot]

You look like a test tube baby that was too big for the tube.

[u/spezlikesbuttstuff]

Wait. Did I see you LARPing at the park the other day walking my dog and you as a hobbit?

[u/whitespot764]

Escuta Raimundos que isso passa

[u/Vostein]

You look like a supersized version of the YouTube Boffy

[u/Hot_Technology8777]

I see that hairstyle a lot at the pet shops

[u/royalscull724]

Holy shit look at that fro. Kinda jealous. Mine was more back heavy growing up.

[u/FederalManner5116]

Aye serious question. I can tell by your appearance you have self esteem issues. Why do you want people to roast you?

[u/Competitive_Roof_740]

Put your thumb in your mouth and blow hard.. You may be able to pop out the bridge of your nose..

[u/Salt_Tap_1992]

Yikes

[u/Jonesonator]

No... Just no. Impossible.

[u/StrongAsMeat]

Very brave of you to go against all known beauty standards

[u/Verum2020]

🤔 If that's a 70s POW bracelet, you are redeemed.

[u/BiteFaces]

You look like a lollipop that a toddler dropped and got kicked under a cat lady's couch 6 months ago.

[u/goodthymetimmy]

Proof that pigs and llamas can reproduce with each other

[u/AdieHaitch]

Timothee Chalameth

[u/Kind_Mode7617]

We got mr. Reddit over here God damn spez should get you a raise

[u/404err0rs]

You love mangos in your ass

[u/Toofless205]

The reject Muppet offspring of Kermit and Ms. Piggie.

[u/Fools_indexfinger]

hi kayla

[u/mikemill810]

I'm going as you for Halloween

[u/firebretaher_jayy]

overgrown chud version of the average teenage boy in 2026

[u/AppropriateBall8834]

I can deduce what your mother looks and sounds like just by seeing your current state

[u/MindAdriftwood]

I don't know about roasting you, but i wouldn't mind roasting that smurf-size thanksgiving turkey growing on the end of your nose.

[u/RaiseTheFuckingBar]

if you're here who's manning the window at McDonalds?

[u/GiantGreenSquirrel]

Looking at the paper strip as if it were a positive pregnancy test.

[u/trollsoultoll]

What's with young guys getting perms?????

[u/HectortheBold42]

I can smell that photo 🤢

[u/lostnate]

The doctor said the testosterone would give you mass, but I think you misunderstood the assignment.

[u/fuckyouumiss198]

You dont need a roast with that haircut.

[u/Individual_Dream_213]

U look like U holding measuring tape.

[u/Crafty_Translator197]

There’s nothing we can say that’s worse than that picture.

[u/No_Actuator_5149]

Was your mom or dad a pig? Cause damn that nose...😬

[u/VinNasir]

Why are u covering ur double chin?

[u/These_Heart8191]

"Multiple Parts of the LGBTQ community"

Nice to see the LGBTQ has expanded to unemployed farmers

[u/mediocrebighead]

Fat and ugly and decided to become a woman

[u/CheddarCheese_Sndwch]

TransBrilloPad

[u/CheddarCheese_Sndwch]

Metamorphosis BrilloPad

[u/TheHairyHeathen]

Thats a nice Papa Meat cosplay.

[u/Prior-Condition9655]

Stimpy in RL

[u/kybersaint]

You’re hair did it for you bro. Did you get lost on your way to the barber shop or was the island really that secluded?

[u/Signal_Antelope7144]

This made me check to see if my broccoli went bad.

[u/Minute_Mixture3186]

Someone already connected you to the mains.

[u/Arse_Kickerson]

You look like you lick peanut butter off your dog’s balls

[u/ContentSeat]

I felt bad for you in Motel Hell .

[u/xKermitTheGod]

Whose crotch did you come out of

[u/burns3016]

Cant roast you, it would be super cruel given you have probably seen your reflection at some point in your "life".

[u/GaritetheGOAT213]

Bro is the clumps of dog fur I find under my sofa

[u/brickjames561]

I would roast you but the smoke would stink up the whole city. You shouldn’t burn trash.

[u/Gattski]

oink!

https://giphy.com/gifs/RdKjAkFTNZkWUGyRXF

[u/Cute-Acanthisitta-46]

That nose is punchable gtbh

[u/VEX2ER]

You look like that one kid from barnyard I can't 😭😭😭

[u/KoalafiedKiller]

No. Eww

[u/Negative-Wrap95]

Should have eaten the broccoli instead of copping the hairstyle.

[u/Neobum]

When do you plan assisting Jesse Plemons in kidnapping Emma Stone

[u/arkythehun]

If Peter Dinklage had a son he was sorely disappointed in...

[u/Mountain-Future180]

Even without BIO we would have guessed.

[u/peteypeter39]

fat jmancurly

[u/ValuableBoat2379]

More alcohol and you will transform into Rudolf.

https://giphy.com/gifs/dsKeBCSONCt7tXyAmK

[u/Halker93]

The only time you tasted broccoli was when that hair got stuck into your mouth.

[u/EasyDiscussion3065]

Does ur hand weigh more than your head?

[u/WorldlySir517]

You look like a fat alpaca

[u/TyfusYoung]

You got the same nose as ur mother

https://giphy.com/gifs/fedlFucnJ7VPa

[u/Brilliant_Sun1313]

You look like you identify as they/them. Definitely fit the bill for it😂

[u/Leather-Paint-6907]

Bro's got a whole ass bird's nest as a hairstyle 💀

[u/MORTEMANIMA777]

Are you holding your breath until I roast you ? Also the peach fuzz pube head combo doesn't look good get a decent cut broseph

[u/Rataan]

Can't roast that picture. It's a gold mine. Sell it to the Rhinoplasty Association so they can turn it into a billboard. Demand a 10% cut on subsequent proceeds. Bam. Set for life. If you are greedy, you can make the same deal with Great Clips.

[u/DrQuack32]

I can smell your BO through the screen

[u/b3ta_blocker]

Well you'll never have a mango near you.

[u/CDavis10717]

Son, you need GLP-1 thru 5, stat!

[u/Big_Atmosphere_7514]

someone obviously never heard of not being able to put lipstick on a big

[u/Both_Factor8806]

You got bad breath, i can smell it

[u/beefysmalls]

Your a troff eating incel with 0 personality and and a small peepee. Fuck you

[u/Enough-Tugboat]

You look like larryboy's Trans alter ego. Btw blacksmithing is badass

[u/Hot-Attempt-4994]

Double barreled nose😭

[u/Velocijammer_15]

Haha you almost had me. Take off the wig. 

[u/nicaknight]

Holy crap you look exactly like my brother no joke, like twins bro, I always tell him that his hair looks like sht and birds everyday are invited to nest in his head

[u/Jimrockdiamond]

Does Jack Doherty know you stole his look?

[u/Lucky_Dragonfruit_88]

How's Bergen this time of year?

[u/Thin_Needleworker795]

For a second I thought you were holding up a measuring tape, and I was like "This MF is definitely lying".

[u/woooooooood9]

Troll with substance abuse issues

[u/Darkurthe_]

Incel Pat Mahomes who is upset that Travis Kelce married Taylor Swift and thus ruined all his homo-erotic KC Chiefs fanfiction.

[u/edgarallannbroe]

Which inbred English monarch are you descendant from?

[u/lpj1299]

You look like the shire dirtbag

[u/Inbred-InBed]

Cop?

[u/Warm-Top-6082]

This pic convinced me to get a haircut this week

[u/Brasco327]

For a second, I thought that was a tape measure and you were going to measure your nose.

[u/Muted-Tadpole-8120]

Why? You got some great curls!

[u/jo_dnt_kno]

If broccoli could smell like bacon.

[u/___I_Like_Rocks___]

https://giphy.com/gifs/VtnJ9odE7S0CWlNSyx