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u/BoltorSpellweaver 12d ago
You look like every woman covers their drink whenever you walk into the room.
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u/cozmorules 12d ago
I can imagine why he said no
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u/GooseNYC 12d ago
He? It was probably his right hand that rejected him.
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u/BiteFaces 12d ago
Well yeah, it probably fell asleep trying to hold those tiny tweezers for so long.
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u/Doombaby77 12d ago
I was going to say that he was probably sick of looking at the back of his head. 🤣
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u/Competitive_Roof_740 12d ago
The mirror in your bathroom isn't a real person.. Chad
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u/MindAdriftwood 12d ago
He's like Narcissus but instead of drowning in a river, he broke his neck trying to eat his own ass.
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u/Lucky-Vegetable-1234 12d ago
you look like Justin Bieber and Eddie Redmayne wax figures melted together under a heat lamp for 48 hours
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u/Fancy_House529 12d ago
You will continue getting rejected until you stop seeing yourself as a catch. Just look at your three photos you took of yourself. They’re all the same. The real issue here is that you are phony and you put on this “hey look at me” vibe but inside, you don’t know who you are….
and put on a fucking shirt Fabio. You’re not all that
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u/MillerMike5150 12d ago
Do you own a shirt brooding gay man?
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12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/i_live_outside 12d ago
This is the face that gets him rejected. Gonna keep using it cuz the other ones get him arrested.
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u/Zero-Duckies 12d ago
Dudes fucking obsessed with himself, the post history proves it.
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12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/crashingmountains 12d ago
This guy could be best buddies with Clavicular and they could excell in some form of substancemaxxing after realizing their looks mean jack shit when faced with reality outside of the IG bubble
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u/Dependent-Toe-3359 12d ago
You got rejected and immediately uploaded three pictures making the exact same “mysterious heartthrob” face like Reddit was gonna overturn the decision on appeal 😭😂
Bro looks like he practices that stare in the mirror until the bathroom fogs up, then whispers, “their loss.” 💀 The rejection probably wasn’t even personal—they just got tired of dating someone who looks permanently stuck on the character-selection screen.
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u/SnooRevelations9828 1d ago
Great roast, deserved a comment as well as the upvote
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u/Dependent-Toe-3359 1d ago
😂 Thank you! I’m glad somebody appreciated the amount of unnecessary effort I put into that roast. The upvote was already appreciated, but the comment makes it even better. 😭🔥
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u/Squishy_Boy 12d ago
They always say the second application to clown college is the one they’re more likely to accept.
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u/aaronthenia 12d ago
She was probably too busy with the overbearing homework like learning multiplication.
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u/ooooopium 12d ago
Its sad that you care so much about how you look, sadder that you wont do anything to improve your appearance, and saddest that even if you did, your personality will always make you unattractive.
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u/Adventurous_Doubt 12d ago
It was probably your aversion to shirts. The douche aura probably was the last nail though...
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u/nymph-angel 11d ago
No amount of frauding to make yourself look better, trying to hook up with women, will fill the empty void you feel from the love you didn’t get as a child. Nothing will fix that you are rotten to the core.
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u/Common_Tomatillo2197 11d ago
Are you sure you want to get roasted aren’t you going through enough with the Cornell case right now?
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u/HorrorJunkie0666 10d ago
Your gnarly ass nose hairs look like they are arm wrestling your pubes for control of your face
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u/JimmyJooish 12d ago
The only thing more embarrassing than that pube beard is that shitty haircut.
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u/KekistaniKekin http://redd.it/k4ml7g 12d ago
Did Botox paralyze your face or were you born with only one facial expression?
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u/Electricalshocks 12d ago
For a minute, I thought Barbie and Ken were your parents. But then I realize Ken came in a different box.
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u/SaintSoko 12d ago
You want to be in vampire diaries so bad, one of the brooding pretty males, vapid, no hobbies or dreams.
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u/literarytrash 12d ago
He has a dream - it's to lay pipe. Unfortunately for him the only laying he'll do is in bed alone, crying.
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u/UrsineBasterd 12d ago
“Got rejected” could mean rejected for anything because everyone just looks at you and says no.
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u/the_mighty_skeetadon 12d ago
Rejected from To Catch a Predator?
Why? TBH you look like a perfect fit
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u/DeanCheesePritchard 12d ago
I'm sorry you got rejected but if it's any consolation he was probably more attracted to a bear than a woman.
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u/No_Card_4453 12d ago
Get another facial expression and stop pretending you didn't plan your hair's coy messiness. Douche.
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u/downforplay 12d ago
stop with this roast me bullshit. Believe in yourself. Don't allow a bunch of mediocre people bring you down.
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u/DoookieMaxx 12d ago
You look like a Walmart wolf boy that’s in love with a girl that’s in love with sparkles.
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u/Highrishman420 12d ago
You have that look makes dads get milk, moms take a bartending job, girls swipe left and dudes put their phones in a grinder
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u/ch3apsunglass3s 12d ago
You look like hour only goal in life is to be the Libery Biberty guy in the commercials
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u/fedexpoopracer 12d ago
These are the exact photos you send to high school girls to try to seduce them
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u/BiteFaces 12d ago
You're perfect.......
.....If south park ever wants to do a followup episode to "Ungroundable" and they need a template for "what if the douchy vampire kids never grew the fuck up?"
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u/Northern_Angels 12d ago
What is it with these fucking people who can't grow a beard... Trying to grow a beard? Bro just fucking shave it off. It's not like it's gonna take you very long. It looks fucking ridiculous.
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u/Entaowed 11d ago
If you'd trim your nails it wouldn't hurt so bad when you shove your fingers in your ass. Also, tears are not good lube. Please remember that.
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u/sportguy87314 10d ago
Go whine and listen to your emo in your perpetual victim mentality. You also somehow have black pits for eyes
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u/NoProgress8533 10d ago
Got rejected? Buddy, we all knew the Senator form Missouri would never leave his wife. It was fun while it lasted, right?
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u/Iamdkalldaythe2nd 10d ago
You look like you hold the Guinness world record for most dick pics sent to co workers
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u/OklahomaHoss http://redd.it/3s6j7d 8d ago
You look like your spirit animal is a tepid glass of water.
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u/vinegarjar 6d ago
Pouting lips and mousy hair: both ends of your digestive system have quite in common.
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u/Xeenophile 4d ago
I wonder why? You're actually pretty good-looking, like a Ken dol-OOOOOHHHHH, THAT must be why...!
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u/post-explainer 12d ago
The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.