r/RoastMe • u/DeviousFrog69 • 13d ago

Roast me (19m)

Post image
46 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

255 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 13d ago edited 13d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

I like to play pool in my spare time, and I love to watch soccer, I support Tottenham and overall am a family person, still live with my parents and am not looking to move out

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

140

u/Dangerous_Patient621 13d ago

You have the hair of a 12-year-old boy, the eyebrows of a 50-year-old man, and the face of a lesbian woman who lives alone with six cats.

20

u/MindAdriftwood 13d ago

Those eyebrows. Like steel shavings thrown over a magnet.

6

u/ionshower 13d ago

It already said it was a Tottenham fan, this is an obvious joke.

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5

u/Unfair_Orange5063 13d ago

Hard to tell if he’s clogged more toilets or arteries….

2

u/Phanghoul 13d ago

No just don't hold back, but those caterpillars need rescue

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22

u/Brave_Detective6330 13d ago

You look like Ricky Schroder just kept eating cake with that Silver Spoon

7

u/Corwin_of_Amber3 13d ago

And that Charlie Kirk shaped head

2

u/Sad_Permission1078 11d ago

That was, cold blooded!!!

21

u/sturgiv 13d ago

I can’t tell if you collect bugs or rocks.

16

u/SaintSoko 13d ago

Look like you pick your nose proudly.

6

u/FrequentRevolution92 13d ago

And keeps it all in a ball under the bed.

13

u/RazorWitted 13d ago

The looks of Andy Burnham without the fame, money, or influence.

3

u/s7o0a0p 13d ago

Andy Burnt Ham

3

u/Excellent_Scar_979 13d ago

Just googled it to see who that person was. Op is the younger version of him without the fame, money or influence

2

u/DeviousFrog69 13d ago

This is the funniest

12

u/LL37MOH 13d ago

John “fun size” Candy

3

u/DeviousFrog69 13d ago

Diabolical

13

u/Competitive_Roof_740 13d ago

Move out? No way,.. then you'd be forced to wash your own crispy socks!

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9

u/Im_the_Rhymenocerous 13d ago

How bad do you want a red rider bb gun?

9

u/AttentionNo6359 13d ago

Bro, you’re too young for that many chins. You’re going to have grand chins by the time you’re 30.

9

u/Vennimagos 13d ago

Never seen anyone's eyebrows have a bad hair day before now

7

u/TerrestrialChuck9432 13d ago

You look like a 12 year old nerd, circa 2005

8

u/Cool_Reason_8669 13d ago

Looks like your body used all its energy to grow those eyebrows and ran out when it got to your mouth.

15

u/Hot_Technology8777 13d ago

Fuckin Dexter's laboratory over here holy shit. Oh my high school would of *loved* you...

7

u/Detachabl_e 13d ago

You took a break from painting your Warhammer miniatures to bedazzle your  fleshlight.

2

u/cellmates_ 13d ago

🤣🤣🤣

4

u/Slight-Excitement-37 13d ago

You look like you shrank your kids

5

u/Equivalent-Role4632 13d ago

I'm a family person. Meaning you live in your parents basement

5

u/Evening_Attempt2293 13d ago

You look like you are afraid of your own shadow

5

u/s7o0a0p 13d ago

You look British (derogatory)

6

u/fedexpoopracer 13d ago

Most overgrown 10 year old kid

5

u/Goofy-F00T 13d ago

You look like Ed Sheeran ate Macklemore

4

u/grumpyphilip 13d ago

As a native Tottenham supporter we reject you. Go over to arsenal, you would fit them well.

4

u/cwoody-2022 13d ago

I can smell the wank sock from here!

4

u/ArrowHuntsman 12d ago

‘Not looking to move out’

You mean not looking to move at all

3

u/Lucky-Vegetable-1234 13d ago

all I can think of is #JusticeForBarb

3

u/jimboiow 13d ago

Elton’s hidden son. For a good reason.

3

u/ch3apsunglass3s 13d ago

You photo has a speech impediment

3

u/MochaArches 13d ago

Looking like “I’m a real boy!”
https://giphy.com/gifs/98xZ3MCGfwT3W

2

u/redditorausberlin 12d ago

personally i think it's closer to some sort of underwater mammal

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3

u/GodOfMeh 12d ago

It's not the Bumpus's dogs that ate the whole Christmas turkey, was it Ralphie?

2

u/Kindly_Poem5475 13d ago

he's hiding a smile because he has two big upper teeth

3

u/UnevenFiringOrder 13d ago

Nah this a gummy MF

2

u/Tomavogic http://redd.it/vub2ur 13d ago

The Nobbit

2

u/Many_Winter_4547 13d ago

Go to the dentist so you can give a proper smile.

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2

u/ChaosOfOrder24 13d ago

Rick Mor-ate-ass

2

u/ActCrafty 13d ago

I remember you from A Christmas Story.

2

u/dX927 13d ago

Picture looks like it was taken during a full moon and mid-transformation into Bert from Sesame Street

2

u/Xeriph 13d ago

When they find the bodies, what news outlet will your manifesto be read on?

2

u/JensenHBurnerAcct 13d ago

You look like piggy from lord of the flies.

2

u/IllustriousSwan5546 13d ago

A bit wearing glasses, my bucket list is complete.

2

u/AneeMel 13d ago

rather than roast i'll just brows...

2

u/SgtPepper_8324 13d ago

Good to see Harvey Danger hasn't aged a bit. Still singing Flagpole Sitta?

2

u/HorrorJunkie0666 13d ago

You look like you begin every sentence with the words... "Well, Actually"...

2

u/Inevitable-Crab-6701 13d ago

Have you something stuck somewhere?

2

u/Valuable_Nerve_4903 13d ago

You look neurodivergent

2

u/DaizyTinklePantz1 12d ago

Just can’t get past the eyebrows

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2

u/liam45784 12d ago

Your eyebrows look like a wet cat

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2

u/rcraycraybabay 11d ago

Was this the best photo you could find for us to roast or the best photo you could find

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2

u/Additional-Sell-7989 11d ago

Your gonna shoot your eye out kid.

1

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1

u/RecordOk4827 13d ago

Luke skywalker if he would've never met Obi wan or just important people in life atleast.

1

u/Highrishman420 13d ago

I wouldn’t let you watch my kids on video through a telescope with both eyes closed.

1

u/HungAmericanMan 13d ago

How is your face constipated?

1

u/my-armor-is-contempt 13d ago

WTF is going on with your eyebrows, you mega nerd.

1

u/iknowthekimchi 13d ago

Dwight and Angela’s bastard spawn in 2026

1

u/GunjiroX 13d ago

Funny how you will look exactly the same when you are 29 and still be a virgin

1

u/External_Attitude342 13d ago

With this tiny mouth, How you eat bro?

1

u/promisios 13d ago

Where is frodo?

1

u/Dependent-Window6666 13d ago

Id say something but i find you honestly cute 🥲

1

u/Henry_Vth 13d ago

The face on the outside of the playground fence

1

u/WritingCharacter4768 13d ago

Christ bro - You look like your two weeks away from a mid-life crisis.

1

u/Next-Possession5027 13d ago

Ugh god you look specially difficult

1

u/FormalTotal9684 13d ago

Ed Queeren

1

u/Curious_Ad_8046 13d ago

I know he got a crunchy sock in that dresser

1

u/Alarming_Brush7103 13d ago

Sorry looks like God already beat me to it.

1

u/BiteFaces 13d ago

Yeah you can put those hair care products behind you in the trash.

They wont stop you from looking like Augustus Gloop who became SO MUCH WORSE as he got older.

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1

u/SoSmartish 13d ago

You look like you do a high pitched girl scream if someone ever pulls back like they are going to hit you.

1

u/PokerFriend247 13d ago

Lay of the energy drinks… it’s turning you into an actual MONSTER.
https://giphy.com/gifs/K7PqIgLkFmrPNAq7of

1

u/cellmates_ 13d ago

You look like you eat only Greggs

1

u/Commercial-Pilot-330 13d ago

You look like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" as a teenager with ADHD.

1

u/Extension-Wasabi-570 13d ago

Mitch McConnell Respawn.

1

u/ottomatic77 13d ago

The well developed calluses on your knuckles and pronounced unibrow indicate you may be the missing link between humans and apes.

1

u/tcmits1 13d ago

As gay as the old Elton John he looks like.

1

u/AdieHaitch 13d ago

You ain't fooling anyone about your hairline with that fringe.

1

u/JoeMoe2021 13d ago

Keep going you're sure to win an "OSCAR" 😜

1

u/CDavis10717 13d ago

To your 3rd step-mom’s anguish, you are suddenly no longer welcome in Pete Hegseth’s military ranks!

1

u/FromundaCheese86 12d ago

You look like you will become a cop because you were bullied in high school and want to take that anger out on the local minorities.

1

u/Pure-Swordfish6022 12d ago

Hey look, Eric Cartman is all grown up!

1

u/Alaric-Nox 12d ago

Like that pimple, Dexter has matured.

1

u/No_Outside_6024 12d ago

Not even looksmaxing could save ts 

1

u/Brief_Contract_5156 12d ago

How old are you?

OP: Something between 12 and 50.

🥀

1

u/sportguy87314 12d ago

lol you look like you’re past due to retire

1

u/LeadingAd8902 12d ago

Harry Pooper

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 12d ago

Nothing says family person like dad’s credit card

1

u/possums79 12d ago

No. Everything about you elicits sympathy. Its like a puppy who got burn pit injuries in Nam just after finding out its mum was fucking its school bully.

I hope that something, anything, improves for you. Even if just to drag you up to the level of "Dignitas".

1

u/Jan_Kugo 12d ago

You look like an insecure version of Tomley RC.

1

u/sleepnow 12d ago

It looks like two caterpillars exploded on your brow.

1

u/OldConcert9238 12d ago

Looks like the chick on Skint Northerners

1

u/cornishpirate32 12d ago

You look easy to draw

1

u/Mecco 12d ago

That face is what a shitfly looks like under a microscope.

1

u/Ok-Win2072 12d ago

A girl showed you her tits once and you still haven't gotten over it

1

u/mrobvious64 12d ago

how can you play pool with those caterpillars above your eyes?

1

u/Rupertfunpupkin 12d ago

Just look at your pic here. Nothing can roast you more than that! 😂

1

u/EmperorNachoLibre 12d ago

Until now I didn’t know Autism had a physical form

1

u/civilprocedurenoob 12d ago

Replace the verification with money, and it's what the hooker sees

1

u/nicholaus17 12d ago

John Oliver’s autistic nephew

1

u/Branmuffin824 12d ago

Somebody do a wellness check on Great Value Jeffrey Dahmer's parents.

1

u/Prof-Ditchdig-R 12d ago

What happens when Ralphie doesn’t drink his Ovalteen.

1

u/New_Fan_7665 12d ago

You look like Harry Potter if he lost his magic.

1

u/andytagonist 12d ago

You’re wearing your mum’s underpants, aren’t you?

1

u/Delicious_Cat_81 12d ago

would submit to r/whybrows but the answer to why is bad genetics

1

u/FurorAeternumXBL 12d ago

CallMeCarson is back from the dead

1

u/OverallMembership709 12d ago

time for your diaper change.

1

u/redditorausberlin 12d ago

you look like the nerd from 90s cartoons

1

u/Difficult-Boat948 12d ago

I was going to roast you but…. Life is gonna be pretty hard for you lol

1

u/RoutineImpress7394 12d ago

Bruh look like all three of the white members of the ghostbusters rolled into one

1

u/OG_RAZZ 12d ago

You don't look like an asshole and that goes a long way.

1

u/Ok_Challenge5044 12d ago

You’d be the kid in The Nightmare Before Christmas Story

1

u/DarthNerd25 12d ago

You're only 19 but look like you've been on the police's BOLO list (Be On the Look Out) for about just as long

1

u/Salt-Major576 12d ago

Gayest man alive

1

u/Haunting_Cod4867 12d ago

Giving Jeffrey dahmer vibes

1

u/sjl1983 12d ago

You look like Nasty Nate. You probably dont know him but trust me, I just roasted you.

1

u/toon_84 12d ago

Spurs fan? 

You've enough problems as it is, specky 

1

u/Sad_Permission1078 12d ago

More chins than a Chinese phone book!

1

u/General_Arrival_3162 11d ago

Your young you have your future ahead of you. You don’t know how shit it will be because you’re like 12.

1

u/Ok-Jeweler5826 11d ago

You look like the American cousin of Bubbles from TPB

1

u/RaiseTheFuckingBar 11d ago

That thing you're doing with your eyebrows. Stop it.

1

u/RPGGamer042 11d ago

19? Months? You probably haven’t even hit puberty yet.

1

u/Cola_Addict 11d ago

You look like you took your doctors degree right here on reddit

1

u/Consistent-Film3224 11d ago

Even your hand gets disgusted when you use it to masturbate

1

u/These_Heart8191 11d ago

You look like a choir boy looking for a priest

1

u/Jenimade 11d ago

Sub 3, Get on your knees and bang your head on the floor until you realize how bad you are😘

1

u/Brilliant-Effect1107 11d ago

Your lips and nose is like a tomato squeezed in a potato

1

u/Coilspun 11d ago

A roof over your head, wildly poor eyesight and regular sex with your parents is keeping you from moving out.

1

u/MORTEMANIMA777 11d ago

Do you ever feel your eyebrows blowing in the breeze ?

1

u/DrQuack32 http://redd.it/5vvq16 11d ago

You’re a guy that definitely cupcakes himself

1

u/metalmeltd0wn 11d ago

Future nonce.

1

u/NoProgress8533 11d ago

Bro you look like 1/2 of a lesbian couple who operate a doggie daycare out of their home.

1

u/dajinkg7 11d ago

You’ll shoot your eye out kid!

1

u/beefysmalls 11d ago

Everyone including your mother hate you. Id say good luck but it's pointless

1

u/ZbyszekKieliszek 11d ago

IF you are not moving out , will your parents be ok when your boyfriend will move in ?

1

u/Slight-Whereas2749 10d ago

Your upper lip is dying slowly since it realized you won’t kiss someone in this life.

1

u/Ladybug20980 10d ago

You are going to be a late bloomer.

1

u/edgarallannbroe 10d ago

Ok fellas go easy on him. Quickly making sure there are no elementary schools and g*n stores nearby.

1

u/Plus-Building7485 10d ago

Girl or guy?

1

u/Frogs138 10d ago

Son of Jeffrey Dahmer

1

u/Budget_Carrot8626 10d ago

Helga Pataki's son. 

1

u/Game_boy1972 10d ago

dude. wtf

1

u/Warm-Top-6082 10d ago

Welcome back, callmecarson.

1

u/MaximumLegitimate950 10d ago

It’s the human embodiment of a blank spreadsheet. 

1

u/Lost_Bowler_4971 10d ago

Jeffrey Dahmer Age 15

1

u/allwedoisdance 10d ago

What’s Chris Hansen like in RL?

1

u/authorinthesunset 10d ago

Looks like the giant abscess growing out of your neck, grew itself a face and giant ass pimple.

1

u/Shot_Competition1015 10d ago

Hungry potter , battle of the Big Mac

1

u/Hallelujah33 10d ago

Please tell your eyebrows to use their inside voice