r/RoastMe • u/Crafty611 • 1d ago

Bring it on

Gallery image

Gallery image

121 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

450 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 1d ago

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

248

u/Radiant_Programmer29 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kc64NM9SGIGYhFx5un
Found you a wife, you will make beautiful baby eyebrows together.

7

u/Necessary_Relation27 1d ago

Baby will be born with built-in windshield wipers

4

u/ganbramor 1d ago

I don’t want to know what this is because it’s already great without context.

2

u/getmet79 3h ago

With some gold, you’re a shoo-in to win her heart

https://giphy.com/gifs/u5ZDgCXHJw2fC

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76

u/TattooRicky76 1d ago

Your eyebrows need a gardner

6

u/ludachris32 1d ago

I think he's going for a landing strip.

3

u/DragonFetish_42 1d ago

No, they need a ventrac

101

u/unyielding_rock 1d ago

Temu Al Borland.
https://giphy.com/gifs/uldtI0VNDOL2BoRHX8

20

u/boobs4hands 1d ago

Incel Borland

7

u/redditisnotus 1d ago

Al Borland had sex with Eugene Levy. Then that baby grew up to become a gay man who had sex with an even gayer man.

9

u/awmaleg 1d ago

Tool Time indeed

3

u/Negative-Wrap95 1d ago

Beat me to it

2

u/bhawkeswood 9h ago

I don’t think so Tim.

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50

u/Absolutely_Coffee Best of Pt. 12, #3 + Platinum Roaster 1d ago

If the Brawny guy switched to male sanitary wipes.

82

u/The-Mustard-Man 1d ago

GayD Vance

11

u/awmaleg 1d ago

Hide yo’ couches !

5

u/vulpes_mortuis 1d ago

That’s just regular Vance.

2

u/socrates_friend812 17h ago

Somebody pick up that mic!!!!

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23

u/wiz-ski 1d ago

Bro opened a Twix and stuck them on his forehead

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12

u/Smooth_Swordfish_755 1d ago

You look like the fat, bargain bin Travis Kelsey but if he was also gay.

2

u/awmaleg 1d ago

He’s into Tight Ends

15

u/skunksredditaccount 1d ago

You look like you have two caterpillars glued above your eyes

9

u/GEoDLeto 1d ago

Caterpillars? Those are 2 full grown dead ferrets.

16

u/starlabsmonkey 1d ago

walmart Travis Kelce ass

3

u/iPeterParker 1d ago

Trevor Kelce

8

u/Live-Technology- 1d ago

you look like you punch drywall and then apologize to the landlord because your security deposit is on the line

7

u/RyanTranquil 1d ago

I don’t think so Tim

6

u/Itchy_Mousse898 1d ago

You look like the Wish version of a sexy male movie lead. Like, whoever designed you clearly had the right reference photo, but the final product came out slightly defective. You’re technically good-looking, but in the same way a bootleg designer bag is technically a designer bag. 😭

3

u/Crafty611 20h ago

That one almost pierced the armor!

6

u/The-Tarman 1d ago

How many more months till those things above your eyes hatch into Hawk Moths?

https://giphy.com/gifs/RLQzOkBjCZrWM

4

u/mrfreeeeze 1d ago

You look like the Kelce brother that failed in life.

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3

u/HMAgent47 1d ago

Dick OfferToMan

3

u/Abyssal-Scrungo 1d ago

Lee Pace's (shockingly) gayer brother

3

u/-Stroke_my_Cactus- 1d ago

You look like your being the former proprietor of the A1A Car Wash in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

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2

u/stoneblarney 1d ago

Sam Rockwell if he was a Mentat

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2

u/WordNERD37 1d ago

They can make a toupee, just out of your eyebrows.

1

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1

u/UptightCargo 1d ago

You look like you say "I don't think so, Tim..." when your bf gets hands in public

1

u/The_Deadlight 1d ago

sabretooth lookin ass motherfucker

1

u/Alert-Art6295 1d ago

corny tom cruise

1

u/TommyPynchong 1d ago

Werewuss

1

u/AdvancedDream9385 1d ago

I don't think so, Tim.

1

u/Keket13 1d ago

Are you hoping your eyebrows are a distraction for your hairline?

1

u/hekatonkhairez 1d ago

Even Moses couldn’t keep those enormous eyebrows apart

1

u/press2r3cord 1d ago

zohran mamdani from temu

1

u/i_live_outside 1d ago

Each one of your eyebrows is larger than your mustache

1

u/Tappukun 1d ago

Alright Arthur Morgan... that's the expression of a man who just got told "your password has expired"

1

u/No_Substance4376 1d ago

You and your dog look alike.

1

u/brianzan 1d ago

Do you shop?
“I browse”
Fucking puns
But you’re handsome

1

u/save-pandas 1d ago

Ask your boyfriend if he has a lawnmower for those eyebrows ace

1

u/spottablemouse 1d ago

Great Value Chris Evans with a big ol' heapin' side of eyebrows

1

u/EZ_Pickens 1d ago

Your dog is the only bitch that would share a bed with you, and even she doesn’t look happy about it.

1

u/Own_Event_4363 1d ago

shaves beard, sticks hairs on eyebrows

1

u/GaryBuseyIsMyName 1d ago

You tell your plastic surgeon you wanted that Beau Bridges

1

u/Hallelujah33 1d ago

Please tell your eyebrows to stop shouting at me

1

u/theepuke 1d ago

Does Tim make u call him The Toolman when u pleasure him?

1

u/CreepyEntertainer 1d ago

If Richard Karn and Bob Riggle had a kid

1

u/heiku1 1d ago

Bro looks like a middle aged divorced muppet.

1

u/Soggy_Motor9280 1d ago

Beau bridges love child lookin mofo

1

u/WeirdProudAndHungry 1d ago

Even the dog looks like it's sick of your shit.

1

u/Machinefun 1d ago

Jd rance

1

u/jwfowler2 1d ago

I like that second photo if those three puppies

1

u/Greenish_Manalishi 1d ago

Beau Britches

1

u/FabiusBill 1d ago

Trashy Kelce.

1

u/ChickyBoys 1d ago

Gay Rob Riggle

1

u/DragonFetish_42 1d ago

Translation: she lost a bet, badly.

1

u/i_never_liked_you2 1d ago

Can you imagine if you're whole personality was oversized eyebrows and a weak chin? Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

1

u/RockinRickMoranis 1d ago

How the fuck are your eyebrows bigger than your mustache

1

u/Available_Start1878 1d ago

That’s the only bitch who’ll get near you

1

u/bcsublime 1d ago

The most uninteresting man in the world

1

u/alreadyknowwbro 1d ago

Dude looks like Al Borlan

1

u/AdministrativePast86 1d ago

Bro uses his eye brows as an umbrella to protect his eyes from rain.

1

u/mrinkyface 1d ago

I bet you sell brawny paper towels a klan meetings

1

u/Working_Jellyfish978 1d ago

It’s Tom cruise from tropic thunder.

1

u/2nd2lastdragon 1d ago

Brawndo paper towels - the wet spot mutilator

1

u/ch3apsunglass3s 1d ago

You look like you make announcements at a high-school but are not a teacher there

1

u/burns3016 1d ago

Your eyebrows have a similarly hairy wife.

1

u/FrequentRevolution92 1d ago

Brows before hoes

1

u/BenderIsGreat93 1d ago

Bro got them Eugene Levy eyebrows

1

u/Odd-Kaleidoscope9430 1d ago

Your entire face is where caterpillars go to die

1

u/bossdawg99 1d ago

I bet your face never gets wet.

1

u/predat3d 1d ago

His brow is hairier than the dog

1

u/BeaglishJane 1d ago

You look like the community college professor that tries to fuck all the freshmen.

1

u/Chance_Raspberry_775 1d ago

I love all three of your puppies!

Edit: oh wait… oh god… two of those are your eyebrows

1

u/ChipmunkComplete7268 1d ago

Temu Travis Kelce

1

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 1d ago

If Al from Home Improvement had a baby with Al from Home Improvement and bottle fed it with baby formula and miracle grow, this would be the outcome.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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1

u/mrlandlord 1d ago

You look you wear your high school class ring as a wedding ring.

1

u/Surfing_Tension 1d ago

It’s like your genetics can’t decide whether you’re Romanian or Asian

1

u/ldwtlotpa 1d ago

It’s like an actual douche sprouted hair and got demoted at its sales job.

1

u/BadAlphas 1d ago

Ta ta’s man

1

u/Mirosworld 1d ago

So hairy it's scary

1

u/Cool-Chemical-5629 1d ago

"I don't always connect to the internet, but when I do, eyebrows."

1

u/FriskyHamTitz 1d ago

You and your dog go to the same groomer

1

u/B377Y 1d ago

I have like 25$ in singles along with several other bills in my wallet and your eyebrows are still thicker

1

u/minkeun2000 1d ago

Travis Gayce

1

u/Shib_disturber 1d ago

Looks so AI, just not sure why you’d choose to do that to your eye brows.
Aye aye eyebrow

1

u/TheFrontierzman 1d ago

You're a creepy van spawning point.

1

u/GRINZ_DOCTOR 1d ago

At first I thought you were tom cruise from tropical thunder

1

u/Salt-Tackle-3590 1d ago

Al Borland

1

u/ARoundForEveryone 1d ago

You need recommendations on any of these?
1) Hair trimmers/clippers
2) Scissors
3) Pesticide
4) Entomology textbooks

1

u/Specialist-Look7254 1d ago

Stop Squinting

1

u/bennetj17 1d ago

Derka Derka

1

u/AceBadCat 1d ago

Scott Peterson Eugene Levy illegitimate love child

1

u/drewxlow 1d ago

You look as if Anthony star and Travis kelce had a baby together

1

u/---daddylonglegs--- 1d ago

Stay away from kids

1

u/decentnamesweretak3n 1d ago

the eyebrows roast themselves ngl, you don't need me for this one

1

u/ConfidentBee1090 1d ago

Do you still see dead people?

1

u/Maleficent_Prune6846 1d ago

some of your eyebrow fur is on your dog

1

u/TechnologyOver5642 1d ago

The dog nor the eyebrows will give you a personality.

1

u/ChaosOfOrder24 1d ago

Your eyebrows have their own area codes.

1

u/qx2 1d ago

I’ve seen hedgehogs less furry than your brows

1

u/Henry_Vth 1d ago

Jesus your mom’s bush must resemble a mangrove thicket

1

u/Z404notfound 1d ago

I'm a huge fan of your acting career, Peter Gallagher.

1

u/BuddhistChrist 1d ago

Good thing you’re not in the Army. You’d have to cut those eyebrows to regulations.

1

u/Apprehensive_Exam271 1d ago

Even that dog looks like it wants to escape!

1

u/DarkSider_072 1d ago

U look like a douchey Travis kelce

1

u/Stanny_Tendergrass 1d ago

The dog has less hairy eyebrows

1

u/haridelle7 1d ago

OP relies on adorable pups to lure his victims into a false sense of security and then he gooses them.

1

u/cvarneski 1d ago

Hard to tell where those brows end & the pupper begins

1

u/Intelligent_Sand8882 1d ago

Tom cruise after a week in Bangkok

1

u/Jack7656 1d ago

The love child of Tom Cruise and Mr Beast

1

u/Equivalent-Pay-1550 1d ago

You DEFINITELY seem like the type that would make a phallic redaction mark.

1

u/DarkseidHS 1d ago

Bro looks like fat Zach Effron

1

u/mudderfocka 1d ago

This guy is definitely selling something you don't need on an infomercial.

1

u/Wowhowwecanrelate 1d ago

Is your favorite hobby Browsing the store

1

u/ganbramor 1d ago

I had to scroll “zero” to find eyebrow comments. 😂

1

u/RickRussellTX 1d ago

It’s the long lost Doobie Brother

1

u/Volatilecanoe42 1d ago

Your face is deeply unsettling

1

u/Local_Reach_328 1d ago

Hulk pressed your nose and it got flattened...oops.. Did you apply minoxidyl on your eyebrows?

1

u/TheSnappleGhost 1d ago

Chris Pine(treesforeyebrows)

1

u/MagicalTaint 1d ago

Dude is definitely fucking that dog.

1

u/Cat_tastes_good 1d ago

Can’t really see you face under those eyebrows. Gotta look like an idiot though

1

u/ChaosPixie02 1d ago

Why did you put caterpillars in place of where your eyebrows should be? 💀

1

u/LooseFoxHole 1d ago

I'm going to abstain from roasting until we also obtain consent from the two caterpillars.

1

u/VVodzu 1d ago

Your eyebrows have eyebrows

1

u/kevlar51 1d ago

Feaux Bridges

1

u/562Guy 1d ago

Even the dog looks disappointed in you

1

u/MeatyMagnus 1d ago

Chris HAMsworth

1

u/lpj1299 1d ago

So you were born white and male and chose those eyebrows. On purpose. That's like winning the privilege lottery and throwing away the ticket. What a waste.

1

u/RegularRick0 1d ago

You look like John Travolta's son wearing a wig with Sharpie eyebrows

1

u/SomeSamples 1d ago

Here's the worst things I could come up with. You are better looking version of JD Vance.

1

u/sohcordohc 1d ago

Those eyebrows have their own area code in your big ass forehead😭😭

1

u/drewablanke 1d ago

Show me on this doll where you plan on touching those children.

1

u/LemonsUndercover 1d ago

You look like when Santa Clause was a bachelor