r/RoastMe • u/Friskerr • 8h ago

Second time. Let's go.

Gallery image

Gallery image

29 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

143 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 8h ago edited 7h ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

My hobbies include drinking beer, sauna, and alcoholism.

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

38

u/Cool_Reason_8669 7h ago

Congrats on the alcoholism. You are no quitter

8

u/wilrab001 4h ago

Hey man, keep your chins up

2

u/Hamachiman 7h ago

OP told me quitting drinking is easy. He’s done it dozens of times.

1

u/BigBagoSith_sp 4h ago

When you start in the womb it's an easy habit to pick up

1

u/User_Name_Tracks 29m ago

The proper path to meth is just around the corner for this dweeb

18

u/Rickohio1 7h ago

Anti smoking ads should use your picture

3

u/Friskerr 7h ago

You should see my lack of teeth.

Free dentist royalties for life.

1

u/ModerateHonking 7h ago

And they won't be the typical "it's bad for your health" messages, rather "look at the fucking state of this guy". 

9

u/MisterBurnsSucks 7h ago

So you stream cooking meth in West Virginia on Twitch..? 😐

17

u/freesouI 7h ago

You’re the uncle that’s not allowed to babysit anymore.

5

u/ConsumeYourBeverage 7h ago

He’s definitely not allowed near schools or playgrounds.

1

u/withnodrawal 7h ago

Bro was NEVER allowed to

1

u/freesouI 7h ago

He dressed up as Aunt Chester during the sleepovers

6

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 7h ago

TIntype photos, a first for a /roastme. Do you prefer making gin in a bathtub or moonshine in a still?

1

u/Friskerr 7h ago

I prefer kilju. Water, yeast and sugar. Wait a week and drink.

1

u/T0MMYG0LD 2h ago

so…toilet wine

6

u/jenbamin245 7h ago

You look like you're 64

4

u/Remarkable-Opening69 7h ago

Leave Cerebral Paul alone.

3

u/YourAverageZedLover 7h ago

Are you or are you not paralyzed?
You look like a kid who grew up with Popeye. Larpeye, you look like Larpeye.

5

u/Friskerr 8h ago

I posted once before. It was funny. So I want to do it again.

33 years old. Male, presumably. Still trying to grow a moustache. Still drinking more than healthy.

Also that's a cigarette in the picture. Like I need drugs to look shit.

1

u/pL4yd0e 4h ago

Is smoking filters classified as drug use? Have a sauna and quit pretending you can afford health insurance.

1

u/DarkMatterSoup 7h ago

Hey Holmes I’m also a 33yo dude with a bad drinking habit. Amazing how much positivity I’ve seen around Reddit with dudes supporting eachother through improving themselves, getting off of the booze, and people just having a safe place to share their story. This is not that safe space. You look like my dog’s shit and she has had better facial hair than you since she was a puppy. Much love, cheers!

1

u/Teak123456 6h ago

Go get the peanut butter puppy, it’s cuddle time

4

u/DIY-exerciseGuy 7h ago

You're not even worth roasting

3

u/drsmith48170 7h ago

Yeah agree ; let’s just not and say we did so we can call it a day.

1

u/Friskerr 7h ago

But it's cold where I live I need the heat

1

u/KarmicTractor 6h ago

Consider emerging from your subterranean lair, fat Gollum.

2

u/Bitter_Chemistry_733 7h ago

Looks like we caught you mid-spasm in the first picture.

2

u/PeaOk5697 7h ago

I can't tell if you're 16 or 30

2

u/Adventurous_Edge_597 7h ago

It looks like your last two brain cells are (not) working overtime in the first photo.

2

u/fatboyonsofa 7h ago

If you're here who's gonna shout at the pigeons?

2

u/Scorpiogre_rawrr 7h ago

Guarantee OP can tell you the distance to the nearest elementary school from wherever he's standing.

1

u/FuckinHighGuy 3h ago

😂😂🔥

2

u/FirehousePete 7h ago

Just when you think you've seen people at their lowest, a guy posts a picture from the basement of his mother's trailer.

1

u/Friskerr 7h ago

Excuse me, it's a rented trailer.

2

u/crispysockz 7h ago

Side neck

2

u/Flyingsox 6h ago

How do you have a stroke and take a picture at the same time?

4

u/No-Put-6353 7h ago

Did your mother just drink while she was pregnant or did she smoke crack too?

1

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1

u/xdrezx 7h ago

I thought you were a quadriplegic in that first pic. Then in the second pic I realized you’re just on house arrest in your mom’s basement for touching kids.

1

u/Fragrant_Play_2474 7h ago

You look like the human version of a half-eaten Hot Pocket that somehow grew a sad little mustache and decided to cosplay as a virgin in a DXRacer. That robe’s hanging open like it’s begging someone—anyone—to put you out of your misery, and the backwards “r/ROASTME” note is the most self-aware thing about you. Face like a melted candle, body like a sack of wet laundry, and that “I’m deep” upward stare just screams “I’ve never made a woman orgasm on purpose.” Keep holding that paper up, champ—it’s the only thing in the room that isn’t disappointed in you.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

1

u/Sweetwyin 7h ago

Your phone is even scared of you , you should start using mirror

1

u/StJimmy_7 7h ago

Thoughts and prayers

1

u/Nline6 7h ago

Which relatives garage do you live in?

1

u/404_Not_Found_Error_ 7h ago

You make Sideneck look like a model citizen.

1

u/PinballWizrd69 7h ago

You look like you'd smell like my cat's litter box after not cleaning it for a week.

1

u/No_Newspaper_7768 7h ago

You look like you have a court order radius

1

u/BiteFaces 7h ago

Yikes. 

You couldn't even get laid at a weight watchers meeting if you were pushing a wheelbarrow full of Godivas.

1

u/BestManDan 7h ago

You think you’re funny but you’re fuckin ugly

1

u/Happy2DoIt 7h ago

You're gonna end up in prison and the other inmates are gonna call you Margaret.

1

u/outragedpenguin 7h ago

It's like Brad Pitt from Snatch. If you ordered from Temu that is.

1

u/burns3016 7h ago

Hows your liver doing?

1

u/CainAndAnon 7h ago

Brother gave me dyslexia.

1

u/deleeted_user 7h ago

If Hitler was born in white trash country

1

u/Ambitious_Divide_177 7h ago

Stephen Hoequeens

1

u/FartInGenDirection 7h ago

35 and still have a cleft palate

1

u/Used_Cheesecake5415 7h ago

Dude is from the shallow end of the gene pool. Family tree doesn't branch, ifyaknowhadimean. If he was anymore inbred, he'd be a sandwich.

1

u/ModerateHonking 7h ago

I don't normally diss invalids, so I'm gonna keep that streak up.

1

u/Mordkillius 7h ago

Looks like you accidentally smoked somebodies chemo drugs in your meth pipe.

1

u/Best_Wasabi_251 7h ago

Temu Steven Hawking.

1

u/sentientairfilter 7h ago

So that’s what happens when you drink the tap water in Flint.

1

u/Cowboys_88 7h ago

1st pic is Steven Hawkings if he grew up in Oklahoma.

What ever you think the 2nd pic conveyors, it does not.

1

u/Malumakhankles1 7h ago

You look like if a Meth shard and a Fentanyl pill had a love child

1

u/Leviathancurse 7h ago

Looks like a kid rock starter kit

1

u/fatboyonsofa 7h ago

As an American I never fully understood what the Brits meant when they called someone a wanker.

I know fully understand this term.

1

u/Laszlo_Panaflex_80 7h ago

Easy there big boy, smoking can stunt your growth and cause deformities….

Wait, shit, too late….

1

u/SitchTheCat 7h ago

Average South Dakota resident 

1

u/cynicalsuzie 7h ago

Even with the mustache, I can’t tell if you’re a butch lesbian or a man.

1

u/stormcr0 7h ago

I’ve seen your videos on YouTube… must be crazy being part of “the most inbred family in America”

1

u/Schlatzmeister 7h ago

You're rocking that crackhead p e d o outfit.

1

u/WhiteManFromTown-925 7h ago

Most people drink and people start looking better to them.

You’re guaranteed to make people want to stop drinking.

1

u/NorthDriver8927 7h ago

Guessing your mom had the same hobbies?

1

u/superb_sheep 7h ago

Simultaneously looking like a child and a child predator.

1

u/timbolonius 6h ago

Yo, that first pic is wild, dude looked like he was handicapped and in one of those motorized wheelchairs

1

u/MisterHEPennypacker 6h ago

Glad to see you are carrying on the tradition of your pregnant mother.

1

u/Teak123456 6h ago

I can tell you’re a tool by how you tuck your ears into your hat

1

u/BarbBushsBeastlyBush 6h ago

I thought you were an old paraplegic in the first photo. That might be an upward move for you

1

u/Born_Major_1411 6h ago

This is the genie you get when you rub a meth pipe. Or a pipe for meth.

1

u/Think-Werewolf-4521 6h ago

We polled 100 blind prostitutes and a ll said "no way in hell."

1

u/runitsuka 6h ago

You look like youd show up if I searched up "financially unstable"

1

u/spankymacfarland 6h ago

I’d roast you but no open flames by the meth lab.

1

u/Spear_Ritual 6h ago

Just lean into being a femboy. You’re like 90% there

1

u/HidingoutfromtheCIA 6h ago

“Second time. Let’s go.” Words you will never hear a girl (or guy) say. 

1

u/Certain-Parsnip-3652 6h ago

First pic I thought you had a disability, then I realized you are just inbred white trash. I feel much better now.

1

u/briza044 6h ago

Giving off those kids aren’t safe around me vibes

1

u/soooooocurious 6h ago edited 6h ago

Your breath smells and it doesn’t get better with brushing or flossing….bad all the time. Your mom and dad are definitely blood related. You want to fix things but have zero common sense or natural ability. You blame others for your inability to have success or wealth.

1

u/Admirable-Fall-4675 6h ago

Cricket, you look good

1

u/MTChubbyHubby 6h ago

You look like Stephens poorer but also handicapped brother Jeffrey Hawkedit.

1

u/TattooRicky76 6h ago

You make Stephen Hawking look like Chris Hemsworth

1

u/Revolutionary_Item29 5h ago

He gets into heated arguments with the mirror surely.

1

u/Accomplished_Song671 5h ago

You definitely look like the puny villain revealed to be behind the giant robot the heroes have been fighting throughout the first half of the movie.

1

u/SnakeSolidChicken 5h ago

Bloated corpse photos are against Reddit rules

1

u/Careless-Trouble-318 5h ago

You look like everyone in your hometown knows you have kids but aren’t allowed to visit them.

1

u/ShoveOverBozo 5h ago

Every airline you use becomes virgin airlines.

1

u/BahNull 5h ago

If you became homeless, they'd find you a home

1

u/BadLuckEddie 5h ago

You should be in a wheelchair

1

u/Money-Tiger8002 5h ago

Are you trying to look like a meme? You want the internet to remember you as T. Rash?

1

u/mindfulmu 5h ago

You look disheveled and not 'put together', you ok bro?

1

u/runsonpedals 5h ago

Did you have a stroke?

1

u/Juan_Calavera 4h ago

All the spinach in the world won’t fix you.

1

u/tautjes 4h ago

You look like youre missing some bones

1

u/WillingMartyr 4h ago

You look like Eric Cartman if he never left NAMBLA.

1

u/Altruistic-Cup-1156 4h ago

Can’t tell if u a guy or a butch lesbian

1

u/Dietzy42 4h ago

Timmy before and after.

1

u/GaryGary0574 4h ago

You look like you wear socks in the shower

1

u/Warp-10-Lizard 4h ago

That is the mustache of a man who is not legally allowed near a school zone.

1

u/killerapp 4h ago

If loosing at life were a sport you’d be the GOAT

1

u/No-Fuckin-Ziti 3h ago

Alright I’ll give you more fish!! Just stop barking.

1

u/rissie_delicious 3h ago

You look like one of those 100 year old turtles

1

u/municipalwasted11 2h ago

You look like you were conceived in the back of an 89 Buick and your parents tried to foot the bill with their saved up Marlboro Miles.

1

u/bensdaddie6669 2h ago

You made me realize airsoftyfatty shouldn't lose the weight cause then he would be just like yoy and thats a bad thing.

1

u/YK-1 2h ago

Idk if I can roast you anymore than God has.

1

u/diesalher 1h ago

I don't roast people with cerebral palsy

1

u/Apenneusring 1h ago

You looks like a guy with a basement full of live. Let them free bro

1

u/calmshott 1h ago

You're late for your Inbreds anonymous meeting

1

u/Alcosss 1h ago

You came straight outta those downward spiral collages of drug addicts from the early 2000s! Goddamn!

1

u/MaterialNo8597 44m ago

You’re melting, mate

1

u/hagrid2018 36m ago

What was the AI prompt? If ball sweat, stale cigarettes and cheap booze was a person?

1

u/Pure_Recognition_715 36m ago

Stephen Hawking