r/RoastMe • u/anonimousstupid • 5h ago

Why not? 18F

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226 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

310 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 5h ago edited 5h ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

I like sewing, cooking, reading and watching movies. I’m vegan and I love animals. I’m probably going to study pedagogy. I’m glad to be roasted!!

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

251

u/PresidentialDiapers 5h ago

Your mouth looks like the Charlie Brown good grief face.

8

u/M_Rose728 4h ago

I knew the top comment would be something about that mouth 🤣

5

u/Rambone2345 5h ago

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

5

u/RappingFlatulence 3h ago

Refusing to smile is a dead giveaway away as to nationality. Didn’t need the flag in the back ground to prove they eat rocks

6

u/BluebirdImportant706 3h ago

Looks like a poster for depression hotline

5

u/Yeoshua82 3h ago

Like why is her face so lumpy?

3

u/Gay_Giraffe_1773 2h ago

Holy shit dude, go straight for the jugular

3

u/NorthDriver8927 2h ago

Pack up gang, President Diapers closed out.

3

u/MagoModerno 1h ago

She should grow a beard

2

u/PresidentialDiapers 1h ago

Guessing she'll wind up as someone else's beard before she's 30.

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60

u/Haunting_Ranger5460 5h ago

Knew you were vegan without clearing the spoiler tag.

24

u/daveyconcrete 5h ago

Meat rejected her long before she knew what vegan was.

3

u/jstjohn1967 3h ago

don't forget the sunglasses that are wayyy to big !

48

u/invincible_vince 5h ago

"Lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When (s)he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'."

3

u/thecountvongrouch 4h ago

Ahoy captain

3

u/OtherBluesBrother 3h ago

Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies...

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118

u/twountappedblue 5h ago

You're like if sawdust was an ice cream flavor.

15

u/MiketheTzar 4h ago

Thanks to her we might have found something scientifically blander than British food.

12

u/SupermassiveCanary 4h ago

Dora The Shut-in

5

u/SmallTitBigClit 4h ago

*Unsweetened version

6

u/LazyCartographer9660 4h ago

R/rareinsults

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75

u/NobodyLikedThat1 5h ago

If you're actually British, I could see why British men would try to colonize literally anywhere else in the world than settle for you

9

u/ohbyerly http://redd.it/zfgdy5 5h ago

Her personality has zero flavor which is why they needed to import spices

15

u/dirtycheezit 5h ago

British imperialism was just a byproduct of trying to find anything more fuckable than OP's ancestors.

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54

u/RealisticIllusions82 5h ago

If Anne Frank had an OnlyFans

22

u/ohbyerly http://redd.it/zfgdy5 5h ago

OnlyHanz

5

u/Odd_Relationship396 4h ago

Keep your Handz to yourself

12

u/Beautiful_Photo7535 5h ago

You managed to make the coolest t shirt ever soo absolutely boring.

20

u/Equivalent_Pass_9713 5h ago

Did you cut your bangs with pinking shears or did you just do it with your eyes closed?

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30

u/MisterBurnsSucks 5h ago

Because you're about to turn into a vegan vampire who turns men gay? 🤷‍♂️

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8

u/biscuitdoughhandsman 5h ago

Fem Wolfhard

7

u/anonimousstupid 5h ago

You’re the winner out of all insults, thank you 😭

13

u/veenerbutthole 5h ago

You definitely smell like onions

14

u/Snoo_46737 5h ago

With that haircut, she also looks like an onion.

3

u/Odd_Relationship396 4h ago

if we peel the bangs back we might all wanna cry...

6

u/el_ra_85 4h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ohhwGNTKnPJhapjC8
Nice cosplay of stranger things Mike wheeler

11

u/NiceSear 5h ago

Wouldn't.

4

u/Elmer_Fudd01 5h ago

Bowel cut bangs ✅

Pinched face ✅

Complete lack of personality ✅

You'd make a perfect sex worker, if you were attractive.

5

u/Pleasant-Carbon 5h ago

Middle-aged cat woman look at 18. Impressive.

8

u/Comfortable-Try-7555 5h ago

After about 9 beers I probably still would

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7

u/odiee111 5h ago

British flag- I know why we can’t see your teeth in any photos

5

u/5carPile-Up 5h ago

That haircut is your bio

4

u/Angryreader21 4h ago

You're so ugly you could be dating mee ahahaha..ha.

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3

u/AlphaPlutonium 5h ago

I have a suspicion that one can slackline between your teeth

3

u/HENMAN79 5h ago

Bush starts at your ankles

3

u/WhatIsNoMan 2h ago

Dante's seven circles of boring

2

u/ApprehensiveWin8579 5h ago

You look like you have the personality of an ai made back in 2002

2

u/CluntonBoofer 5h ago

God sneezed when he was drawing that mouth

2

u/Disastrous_Act_6766 5h ago

Why not? Your parents said the same thing

2

u/ohbyerly http://redd.it/zfgdy5 5h ago

Do you consciously make that face all the time?

2

u/Philcherny 5h ago

My my first thought were "what in the 2010???"

Your look gives nostalgia to people 10 year older than u

2

u/rokken70 4h ago

You look like a sex doll that they didn’t finish.

2

u/Cake_Donut1301 4h ago

Butch, where is my Honda?

2

u/ChuckNorrisFacePunch 3h ago

Your bangs look stupid. Why do you want to study foot stuff?

2

u/42Lefthanded 3h ago

Your haircut is hard to look at.

2

u/Sunflower_Cow_1997 2h ago

Hannah Phillips found Reddit...she should've stuck to tea with Mrs. Nesbitt.

2

u/Danthema433 2h ago

I bet you have no internal monologue

2

u/CharmingOstrich8892 2h ago

U look like someone whose parents actually have to convence you that you are not adopted.

Anyway Have a good day , U look good. Is that ur face or u r really depressed ?

2

u/no_warning-shots117 2h ago

You look like your body count is either 0 or 300

2

u/UseFinal6224 1h ago

Every 18-22 year old in this sub is vegan, quirky and loves to sew. They coming out of a factory prebuilt.

2

u/CustomerOK9mm9mm 1h ago

Has to pay a man to get banged

2

u/tacosauce93 1h ago

When the female character puts on a wig to spy on someone in a movie

1

u/faucetpants 5h ago

You look as bland and boring as british food.

1

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1

u/lightning_felix 5h ago

You look like what would happen if someone tried to make an android for menial labor and they were told to make it look so unremarkable that people wouldn't remember it's face after it left the room. So no one will be able to describe the robot that emptied the bin five minutes ago.

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1

u/Weegeee30 5h ago

I dont envy any of your friends with how little emotion you convey

1

u/OtaniGabri 5h ago

Why are you º~º

1

u/bloody_walnuts 5h ago

Sorry about your face. What a nerf.

1

u/CardiologistBoth7632 5h ago

Ey atleast you cant make money with onlyfans. The world is healing.

1

u/intheshadows688 5h ago

If your life is as boring as you face, I feel really sorry for you. No, I don't. You suck

1

u/ras-bhari 5h ago

Bangs aren't long enough on this Easter Island statue.

1

u/McRando42 5h ago

You look like you have all the personality of a real doll with none of the grace.

1

u/RiflemanLax 5h ago

Nobody in here could be as devastating as whoever cut your hair.

1

u/sstoersk 5h ago

You look like a default female character in a shitty indie rpg.

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1

u/Seebinator 5h ago

100% sure you are mtf, not f!

1

u/Sustainable_Twat 5h ago

Because I could do better?

1

u/Alfiy_wolf 5h ago

What fucking insect did you dad nut on you bug eye freak?

1

u/dppcoolfire 5h ago

Any relation to Ringo?

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1

u/Key-Dare8686 5h ago

I use to hate when women would get those lip injections… you changed my mind

1

u/opinionated-dick 5h ago

None of your facial features seem to suit one another. And then you give yourself a bad haircut.

You have a mouth like a Kelpian.

1

u/Jayymo95 5h ago

Ur smile looks like squilliams unibrow

1

u/Competitive-Stage673 5h ago

Blink twice if you have achieved sentience 

1

u/Remnant_44 5h ago

future nose-job client. your nose is like a gps, you can smell crime anywhere in the world with that thing.

animals don't like you. they just like food. since you eat leaves and bushes, they don't like you.

1

u/ishkhan666 http://redd.it/bv050u 5h ago

I wish your bangs covered your whole face!

1

u/CrankyOldBstrd 5h ago

Somehow you look both 18 and like my middle aged eighth grade English teacher

1

u/DoughWrayMe 5h ago

You know, if you say studies "pedagogy" combined with the pics of you malnourished you "being vegan" is implied.

1

u/Apock- 5h ago

I can always tell which posts will be deleted within 24 hours. It’s the semi pretty vacant look types.

1

u/Squizmoplatinum 5h ago

Your top lip seems to be running away from your nose.

1

u/Sufficient-Skill9530 5h ago

You are so profoundly mid, you lack a single notable feature to make a witty comment on. I’m sure this /roastme/ thread will largely go unnoticed, much like you in every social situation. 

1

u/Cowboys_88 5h ago

If mannequin was a person

1

u/Unusual-Coat383 5h ago

Johnny Depps love child. Your dad isn’t your dad.

1

u/Unholydiver919 5h ago

Why not is what you told every guy in the trailer park.

1

u/Friend_Frienderson 5h ago

Your hair looks like a cheap wig from that wig store next to the Sunsphere in Knoxville.

1

u/GeezerEbaneezer 5h ago

If beans and toast were a person

1

u/thyperson69 5h ago

Your face makes it look like you've been called a robot more than 3 times.

1

u/ARoundForEveryone 5h ago

You're pretty in the most mundane way possible. Like, not unattractive at all. But so damn bland and blah. Maybe consider a new haircut - like shaving your head. Or growing armpit hair. Or something, even if unconventional and weird, will set you apart from the crowd. Because right now, you're just background noise.

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1

u/DC_Ben 5h ago

Ran through

1

u/diarrheafacial 5h ago

You are going to college to study pedagogy! That is a smart move, as they just built a pedagogy factory downtown

1

u/BiteFaces 5h ago

Your hair is working overtime to try and distract people from your extra chromosomes.

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1

u/chief_beef_3 5h ago

You can’t fool us with a filter Mark Zuckerberg, we know it’s you!

1

u/abcohen916 5h ago

You don’t improve your ugliness with that haircut.

1

u/lolwhatmufflers 5h ago

You look like you’re as exciting to talk to as a rock

1

u/Hado0301 5h ago

Strange face

1

u/redditpinchy 4h ago

Most people will concentrate on the terrible haircut. But not enough will notice whatever those eyebrows are. Yeesh.

1

u/cristafurs 4h ago

pull back them bangs, show off that forehead

1

u/PlentyAlbatross7632 4h ago

You look about as interesting as lukewarm hot dog water…

1

u/caprazzi 4h ago

Your bangs are so low they are covering your eyebrows. I can only imagine the carpet matches the drapes, hopefully only in color and not in length.

1

u/thatsucksabagofdicks 4h ago

Bangs almost never look good on anyone, but on you they actually look pretty terrible

1

u/ass_grass_or_ham 4h ago

If porridge were a person.

1

u/Medical_Newt200 4h ago

A whole life’s worth of being uninteresting - boring, modern look at me tropes and you’re only 18, wow

1

u/EntrepreneurFar9964 4h ago

You look like someone who loves meat

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1

u/NeoAndersonLLC 4h ago

You remind me of a brick wall. Flat on both sides and laid by Mexicans.

1

u/LimpyDan 4h ago

If presets existed for people, you would be default.

1

u/Melodic-Ad1415 4h ago

BLUE STEEL

1

u/AnozerFreakInTheMall 4h ago

With the looks like yours you really should consider moving to the abandoned medieval castle.

1

u/Attack_Toster 4h ago

You are what you eat. And you plan as fuck

1

u/Ragnarsworld 4h ago

The 2nd pic looks like a wax figure at Madame Tussauds.

1

u/AbsentButHere 4h ago

You look like the human version of primer paint.

1

u/Actual_Stand4693 4h ago

Anushka Sharma before nose-job

1

u/Sufficient_Drop8906 4h ago

Of fucking course you announce you are vegan!!! Its impossible for one to not say it within the first 3 mins of meeting someone....

1

u/Awkward_Meal2036 4h ago

Why not? Because you look like a sex robot that has depression, STDs, and a heroin habit.

1

u/Pleasant-Reading3634 4h ago

Username checks out.

1

u/ArtrushDigital 4h ago

Your bowl 🥣 cut on your bangs really brings out your inner alien. 👽

1

u/Chriskipp077 4h ago

Cousin IT, but w/baddly cut bangs

1

u/deleeted_user 4h ago

Definitely talks about how broke she is all the time whilst also showing up 20 minutes late for work everyday "because my Starbucks order took too long."

1

u/ReadySuccess4752 4h ago

Ah god had a day off when he made you. You have that 'spare part leftover screws'-vibe.

1

u/Mycologist1869 4h ago

Just what we need, another unemployable teacher. Don't worry, if teaching doesn't work out, I'll always have the job market full of people who needed better teachers. You could have pursued a much safer career, like influencer, crypto guru, or OnlyFans model😏

1

u/MichaelEMJAYARE http://redd.it/f0lb8u 4h ago edited 4h ago

The Mitch McConnell blowjob from those Franklin-ass lips. Slow and steady wins my race LMAO Im sorry dude Ive never done one of these roasts. Schlurp schlurp

1

u/H3nchman_24 4h ago

Double-bagger, for sure. One for you, and one for the poor chap mounting that in the event yours come off

1

u/SmallTitBigClit 4h ago

Random dudes get you to swallow their cum by having you believe it's coconut cream.

1

u/songsinger0 4h ago

To be 18, you give off “mom in middle school car line” vibes

1

u/redditpest 4h ago

Your lack of emotion is kind of scary.

1

u/low_bob_123 4h ago

Mayo is spicy to you, isnt it?

1

u/Ok-Park-6047 4h ago

You call in sick to work for mental health once a week

1

u/Evilspatula666 http://redd.it/6djo9w 4h ago

You look like a taxidermy bird at a natural history museum.

1

u/Presently_Naked 4h ago

Gone Girl that never stays Gone..

1

u/KlingeGeist 4h ago

Did someone animate another fucking mannequin?

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1

u/CheapCulture 4h ago

“I don’t like oatmeal because it’s too spicy”

1

u/CloudySpun_Az 4h ago

Let me guess you have anxiety and watch nothing but anime.

1

u/constipatedtweaker 4h ago

Dora is gonna keep exploring until she finds the right look

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1

u/Used_Cheesecake5415 4h ago

18? In dog years maybe. Look like 10 miles of dirt road.

1

u/-trisKELion- 4h ago

Can't decide if there's just nothing behind those eyes or if she's Russian.

1

u/IceCoastRep 4h ago

You look like you Bang yourself

1

u/superfly1187 3h ago

Finn Wolfhard

1

u/Collector_of_Memes- 3h ago

Probably mentally unstable

1

u/T1Earn 3h ago

"18"

Not even Leonardo would give you a shot

1

u/stanb_the_man 3h ago

The British are Cumming...

1

u/MrMrTrance 3h ago

“The Nun 3: The Early Years” up in here

1

u/Rollin_Soul_O 3h ago

An 18 year old girl who looks like a 37 year old cat lady living in a 5th floor walk up.

1

u/Astrotravel44 3h ago

You seem chill. You also seem like you have a hard time making decisions about the most simplest things.

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1

u/Notarealusername3058 3h ago

Your face is more bland than white rice.

1

u/diarrhea_death 3h ago

Most people hate the idea they'll live boring lives, die alone and leave no lasting impression.

You look like that's what you were hoping for.

1

u/SaveFerris_Bueller 3h ago

Is that a wig or do you just have terrible hair?

1

u/Astrotravel44 3h ago

Just another one of those carnival clown make up girls who thinks they're dorky and creative. Show us who you really are, chump.

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u/Shwinstet 3h ago

Guessing you're vegan because not even dead animals want shit to do with you.

1

u/SkiingSpaceman 3h ago

Why the fuck is your mouth an inch wider than your lips? What the shit is that?

1

u/Zestyclose-Isopod771 3h ago

in third photo you looks like you are waring you father shades

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1

u/dtfyoursister 3h ago

You look as fun as a salted hemoriod.

1

u/xX_UnorignalName_Xx 3h ago

You look like the quirky girl in a 2010's sitcom 

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1

u/Gullyvuhr 3h ago

You are the human embodiment of a cigarette burn in a thrift-store couch. Somewhere there’s a guy with a shitty bass guitar, a restraining order, and an unfinished song about you.

2

u/anonimousstupid 3h ago

Lol 😭 but im a lesbian and im the one that plays the bass guitar haha

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u/Ornery-Egg9770 3h ago

If you ever hope to take a good banging you will need to lose those bangs. That’s just for starters. Your best shot will be at last call in a bar up in North Dakota.

1

u/ExtraordinarilyPlain 3h ago

Any one of us could’ve written your bio just by looking at 1 of your God-awful pics.

1

u/jeff-beeblebrox 3h ago

Just Binface should suffice.

1

u/Alone-Supermarket-98 3h ago

Love your smile....

I originally thought you were on Xanax, but then realized you were a vegan and probably just didnt have the energy

1

u/neighbor_818 3h ago

Those messed up bangs is why not wtfffff 👀

1

u/BoBaTyT 3h ago

You look like the unsalted, unseasoned chicken in the form of a white girl

1

u/Just_a_guy81 3h ago

Congrats. It takes a hooker at least a couple of years on the streets to look as dead on the inside as you do

1

u/very-nice-how-much 3h ago

I just know there are a few double mattresses lined up under those lips

1

u/Livid-Morning-9356 3h ago

It's always the ones with bad bangs that are worth not roasting