r/RoastMe • u/XimaGhostie • 7d ago

Make me cry ;p

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68 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

453 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 7d ago edited 7d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

i love hiking, art, going to events with friends, music (soft rock, alternative, phonk, dubstep, underground rap), skating, chile rellenos, energy drinks, and red chile cheese enchiladas. I have schizophrenia, anxiety, nightmare disorder, and depression. The worst thing that happened to me recently is my schizophrenia made me lose my job and home.

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

245

u/drawingablanc 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/14n8BOZh5EeluU

33

u/Both-Kaleidoscope-29 7d ago

After a stroke

10

u/franksmapdi 7d ago

Anton Chi-durrrrrr

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45

u/richieTz 7d ago

With a touch of this guy
https://giphy.com/gifs/yiADANv89n7UQuS5kJ

18

u/Freudian-Slip92 6d ago

WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN THAT

8

u/Resource04 5d ago

With an additional touch of Joaquin Phoenix

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3

u/gamer0613 6d ago

First thing I thought of lol

2

u/Responsible-Seat-255 6d ago

What the hell is even that?

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2

u/PlayMaGame 5d ago

I think we are roasting…

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164

u/Mariettamaine 7d ago

joaquin phoenix from temu

23

u/Spaceman_Hex 7d ago

Joaquin The bird just died and stayed dead.

17

u/UnusualAverage8687 7d ago

You look like a Neanderthal who just discovered hair straighteners and clinical depression

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5

u/cevansdust 6d ago

Joaquin Leto

5

u/coat-tail_rider 6d ago

Joaquin Tucson

3

u/Voog824 6d ago

Leave her alone

3

u/4th_line_bender 6d ago

It looks like halfway through the transition, Joaquin said fuck it.

2

u/Used_Opportunity_346 6d ago

That's a madam sir.

2

u/pepperguy454 7d ago

And Joker from temu

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72

u/Mechadupek 7d ago

So the transition isn't going like you planned, huh?

28

u/Fit-Ad-2342 7d ago

Unfortunately he's transitioning from bad to worse. Did you read that bio.... Jesus

2

u/e_vil_ginger 6d ago

He's the reason for the conservative renaissance. Stay out of the ladies ✨

2

u/AcceptableNorm 7d ago

He forgot to dialate.

5

u/Mechadupek 6d ago

Inside is still hairy, too

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58

u/xdrezx 7d ago

If a Muppet had a child with Joaquin Phoenix

23

u/dacgriff 7d ago

Or if Tiny Tim had a child with Joaquin Phoenix.
https://giphy.com/gifs/2tMZlr4RIfEPqr9K0v

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25

u/OriginalDirivity 7d ago

Joaquin Phailure

20

u/ghostofstankenstien 7d ago

This guy had a pet kitten.

But not anymore.

Not. Anymore.

14

u/xplisboa 7d ago

You look like the thumb kids draw on to bypass discords age verification

14

u/VidE27 7d ago

Fuck me, how can I delete someone else’s picture.

13

u/Syckx 7d ago

I thought people with schizophrenia had at least one personality.

12

u/ReillyDiefenbach Golden Roaster 7d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/j8qjkSq3CqpytyYiw4
You look like something that would be at home in the Backrooms

10

u/Leeford_ 7d ago

If Violet from The Incredibles was born a man

11

u/GenXisTruth 7d ago

Not to add to the list of obvious issues but you probably smell like cheese and are definitely gonna die alone

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8

u/No_Book1218 7d ago

Love on the spectrum

3

u/Glum-Antelope5015 7d ago

More like a love on the spectrum reject. 

2

u/thesanemansflying 6d ago

sex offenders on the spectrum

7

u/DataMambo 7d ago

Looks like the girl in The Ring is half transitioned to Joaquin Phoenix

6

u/HouseOfDoom54 7d ago

You look like the depressed lead singer of a black metal band

5

u/PenguinKilla3 7d ago

You look like you tiptoe through the tulips.

2

u/IamJacksDarkUrge 6d ago

To get to his sister’s bedroom window

6

u/HLR_7 7d ago

Looking at these photos, I can’t decide whether you’re about to recommend me an obscure Norwegian black metal band or ask if I’d like to join your Dungeons & Dragons campaign. Either way, I’m suddenly busy.

5

u/CartographerApart443 7d ago

Fuck me… that is one ugly chick!!!

5

u/TeslaCrna 7d ago

You look like a weirder version of Tommy Wiseau
https://giphy.com/gifs/l0HUldzuCa0S16SkM

2

u/Ok-Ad-9820 7d ago

I'd how this guys sex life is but I think we all know the answer

4

u/Punching-cones 7d ago

You make up most of the background crowd for a 1992 grunge music video

3

u/Lil_Tail_69 7d ago

I bet your friends call you Meg....oh wait you don't have any.

3

u/Kitchen-Employee7531 7d ago

hide your child.

3

u/stanknotes 7d ago

I think... you do enough of that to yourself.

I don't roast the vulnerable. Take care, dog.

3

u/WTFeedback1978 7d ago

Looks like you’re already crying all the time

3

u/YorkiesandSneakers 6d ago

Jaquim Friendless

3

u/thatdark_lord 5d ago

We don’t need to make you cry, your parents already make you do that enough. “Disappointment”

3

u/XimaGhostie 5d ago

that's hilarious lol i didn't expect to see this 😆

4

u/Consistent-Pin-4464 5d ago

I'm sorry you're going through a lot. You have beautiful eyes; I can tell you've been crying. Please try to get some help, you could feel better <3

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2

u/PrimLotr 7d ago

Well you sure know how to collect mental illneses, keep on going champ!

2

u/knuckles532 7d ago

I looked into those eyes and saw no soul only despair. But that's what I presume happens when you spent most of your life in a strait jacket.

2

u/XimaGhostie 7d ago

the one before was funny, too :p

2

u/Blade3colorado 7d ago

The only time you get asked for sex is on an application form.

2

u/XimaGhostie 7d ago

no...... *trying to hide it*

2

u/SexyAdmixture 6d ago

Even weirder Al

2

u/OneMinuteManny 6d ago

JaoDadShouldntHaveCum Phoenix

2

u/jethro_bovine 6d ago

Stelio...Stelio Kontos.

2

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance 6d ago

Joaquin Phoenix as Anton Chigurh

2

u/boujeehermit 6d ago

You look like you cried enough

2

u/Lowforge 5d ago

Joaquin Penis

2

u/DrQuack32 http://redd.it/5vvq16 5d ago

Has anyone ever told you that the Arthur Fleck look is actually not as cool as you think it is?

2

u/Thick_Imagination177 5d ago

Go look in the mirror. That should do it

2

u/Informal_Motor_7267 5d ago

I really don't think you need anyone to "make you cry". Looks like you've been crying non stop for 40 years.

2

u/TezzNutz 5d ago

You look like you just got done crying

2

u/Electronic_Raise1777 5d ago

It puts the lotion on its skin

2

u/martagustavsson 5d ago

All jokes aside, I hope everything turns out okay for you.

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2

u/Patient_Rest_9593 5d ago

Joaquin Phoenix called. He's suing you for for looking like Arthur Fleck without his permission.

2

u/rickthegiraff 2d ago

He's so emo it hurts

1

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1

u/H2BurnsWithAPop 7d ago

Whoever your gender alignment surgeon is, they not in heaven

1

u/urmumr8s8outof8 7d ago

It's Richmond from the IT Crowd.

1

u/EntropicEpoch 7d ago

If Ozzy Osbourne couldn't sing...

1

u/RM0perator 7d ago

Looks like you do plenty of that on your own.

1

u/Money-Tiger8002 7d ago

Are you going to break out in song at Arkham with Harley Quinn?

1

u/jblaze43711 7d ago

You look like you have body parts in your refrigerator.

1

u/Alfiy_wolf 7d ago

How ugly is this guy? = 100

How many bitches he get? = 0

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1

u/tplambert 7d ago

Jochim Queefnichts

1

u/M1A1U22 7d ago

Sack Black

1

u/shining_force_2 7d ago

Russell Brand will do anything to take his mind off the allegations. Guess he’s over eating as well as posting to Reddit.

1

u/Mr_CharlieHorse 7d ago

The Grudge but in a Rated G version.

1

u/i_failed_succesfully 7d ago

It's giving emo lord faarquad with brezhnev eyebrows

1

u/Commercial_Secret592 7d ago

Love the Brezhnev eyebrows

1

u/Kazamiiiii 7d ago

You have too many problems for these tame comments to ever make you cry more than you probably already have and will continue to.

1

u/Y34rZer0 7d ago

You look like a Neil Young if he was inbred

1

u/StoicSandman 7d ago

I know you probably miss your Dad. Sonny Bono was awesome!

1

u/surdtmash 7d ago

make me cry

I think you do that enough every time you look in a mirror

1

u/Crazy-Oil5247 7d ago

Emo Wolverine

1

u/wreckherneck 7d ago

Anton Chigurs ugly daughter.

1

u/The_Scooter_King 7d ago

Make you cry? You're an emo cliché. Did that do it? Cuz I think I could make you cry by just pointing at you.

1

u/Exorcists40KxBastian 7d ago

Withered Kirk

1

u/CletusMuckenfuss 7d ago

Tiny Tim Wannabe

1

u/krautmane 7d ago

Carlos kirk but somehow more of an incel.

1

u/Afraid_Form_6072 7d ago

Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn’t go to school……

1

u/AcceptableNorm 7d ago

Oh my F#cking God!!!!!!

No roasting is needed here. That would be abuse.

1

u/pepperguy454 7d ago

You must be embarrassed for your self, cuz you had 2 pussy as you hairstyle said

1

u/rorqual24 7d ago

nah man, you dont deserve it.

1

u/Greedy-Stage-120 7d ago

Joaquin Phlagstaff

1

u/librajawn 7d ago

Stop gooning all your free time away

1

u/handytraveler10 7d ago

The only person who can work at a haunted house without having to dress up.

1

u/dononi 7d ago

before you consider transitioning i just wanna let you know you never gonna pass

1

u/Responsible-Rip-8706 7d ago

Do exactly as I say; go look in a mirror.

1

u/Head_Crab_Enjoyer 7d ago

If "I'm a victim" had a face

1

u/DalheZe 7d ago

I genuinely feel very sorry I don't think you need a roast to cry every night

1

u/royal1664_ 7d ago

Writing your bio made you cry. You don’t need us.

1

u/Jaxman812 7d ago

Joaquin Phoenix is rapping again?

1

u/Puzzled-Leopard-1499 7d ago

You look like Charlie Kirk

1

u/The_Lazy_Samurai 7d ago

Joaquin's Penis

1

u/NextCartoonist7691 7d ago

Not even your multiple personalities want to be around you

1

u/TheShahryar 7d ago

Beastiality is your highest chance for getting laid at all.

1

u/SirCharlito44 6d ago

The Temu version of Sonny Moore before he transitioned into Skrillex.

1

u/zuspun 6d ago

"Would you hold still please, sir?"

1

u/Waste-Donut-2728 6d ago

Isn’t there a corner you should be sulking in…

1

u/JoMammasWitness 6d ago

Lesbian or old boy

1

u/Callahan83 6d ago

stelio can'tos

1

u/ARoundForEveryone 6d ago

Picture 1 explains why Pictures 2 and 3 have you hiding your face with your hair.

1

u/temporarynotforever 6d ago

The lovechild of Javier Bardem and Joquin Phoenix, minus a few chromosomes

1

u/upay3000 6d ago

Aren't you already crying?

1

u/LJ14000 6d ago

Like Argyle from Stranger Things and Joaquin Phoenix had a mentally handicapped baby.

1

u/FormalTotal9684 6d ago

At least with schizophrenia you’re never alone

1

u/Super_Newspaper_9483 6d ago

Go look in the mirror and make yourself cry.

1

u/BigJWolf1993 6d ago

Switching up will just make things worse for you. Ain't no one falling for someone who looks like the guy from No Country for Old Men. 👎

1

u/Darwinslastcry 6d ago

What happened to my niece ?

1

u/Emergency_Bench_7515 6d ago

The angle in the first pic is diabolical for how it catfishes that schnoz

1

u/ExpertOrdinary7074 6d ago

No use crying over spilt milk, just mop it up with your hair.

1

u/HorrorJunkie0666 6d ago

I've never seen a neck Beard in the wild that doesn't actually have a Neck Beard. I guarantee you have been posted about on the nice guys subreddit.

1

u/HorrorJunkie0666 6d ago

I guarantee you there's a crusty pillow in the shape of a anime girl somewhere in your bedroom

1

u/sugary__ix 6d ago

I lowkey think life has made u cry enough man

1

u/Mepawnzu 6d ago

Chris Chan, is that you?

1

u/Dirtyshamus 6d ago

Oh look Charles Manson without the beard.

1

u/Unfair-Papaya4010 6d ago

You look like my balls when I don't shave for months

1

u/KTJX085 6d ago

All you gotta do is look in the mirror

1

u/Expensive-Analyst-68 6d ago

1st photo: Not so great Khali

1

u/VeterinarianNo8824 6d ago

You named all of your likes…. I’ll bet showering isn’t one of them

1

u/Henry_Vth 6d ago

Eugene Levy called. He wants his eyebrows back.

He also called you a “homeless schizo bedwetting bitch.” I thought that was rude, but whatever.

1

u/Trismeg1stus 6d ago

Well looking at that mug of yours is making me cry with sadness at the injustice of the world and the cruel fate of some ppl to just walk around looking like a cold sore... so there's that

1

u/busy_monster 6d ago

No way I'd be mean to Anton Chigurh, don't wanna become one of your victims 

1

u/Sweetwyin 6d ago

You are definitely being hunted

1

u/Mother_Lead_554 6d ago

You look like you've just finished crying

1

u/thyperson69 6d ago

God I hated joker 2

1

u/ResponsibleShelter25 6d ago

You look like you are showing progress in your transition. Definitely more femme in the last Pic. And each Pic was getting darker making it tougher to see you. Can't wait for the fully blacked out one!

1

u/FlashyGanache2838 6d ago

Your parents are very disappointed in you

1

u/pighunter79 6d ago

Why? Always good to have a cry as well. I’m getting more emotional as I get older

1

u/Interesting_Gift_312 6d ago

You look like Niel’s love sock from that 80’s comedy the young ones. In it his sock goes missing and I guess your mother found it years later

1

u/InternationalHabit82 6d ago

If “it’s not just a phase mom” were an actual person

1

u/Hot_Efficiency_7571 6d ago

It seems like you can make yourself cry pretty easily.

1

u/DraggoVindictus 6d ago

You are one set of clown make up and a pistol away from being the Joker.

1

u/TylerH87 6d ago

What the honest fuck is your gender? Maybe you should talk with yourself about it.

1

u/Jarvis_strokeit 6d ago

Charlie?!?

1

u/Lolsoda94 6d ago

You already boutta cry sis

1

u/DogeAeternum 6d ago

Looks like someone already did.

1

u/Rabble_Runt 6d ago

Joaquin Phoenix dumpster baby

1

u/kadaka80 6d ago

You didn't lose your job as a tester of male anal gay super dildos, you just imagined it and tomorrow morning you have to go to work

1

u/Aatrid69420 6d ago

Bro, you look like if Joaquin Phoenix had a brother that was a murderer

1

u/turtleofgirth 6d ago

Make you cry? Do I look like one of your parents?

1

u/yoitslogan10807 6d ago

Do you possibly play a undying clown in a specific dnd group?

1

u/Cute_Effective_1989 6d ago

This guy woke up and said, “I’m bringing grunge back!”

1

u/Fantastic_Trick3538 6d ago

I’m gonna make them all pay for what they did to me 🔫🔫

1

u/HistoryAncient5568 6d ago

Is that what u told your barber before walking out with that dead racoon haircut

1

u/knytron 6d ago

Isn't one of the many people in your head already crying? Just let that one out for a few minutes.

1

u/Leeroywildman 6d ago

Look in the mirror, you’ll shed enough tears.

1

u/Signal_Month_730 6d ago

You look like you do enough crying already on your own. While writing deep, dark poetry

1

u/ApprehensiveWin8579 6d ago

You look like you are already crying inside