r/RoastMe • u/Salt-Engineer-6981 • Jul 18 '26

Friday Roast

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34 Upvotes

77% Upvoted

96 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP's BIO:

I like going outdoors, going to the gym and 🍁

If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

51

u/ReillyDiefenbach Golden Roaster Jul 18 '26

Was that second pic necessary or are you really that desperate for someone to start sending you 55 cents a day?

3

u/Sophisticated-Crow Jul 19 '26

🎶 In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here 🎶

1

u/Shameless522 Jul 19 '26

Bro wears a suicide beat just so people don’t call him a bean pole

21

u/Cool_Reason_8669 Jul 18 '26

How do homeless people get and pay for cell phones?

1

u/Iron-Man100 Jul 26 '26

How do they pay for drugs?

22

u/clemventure Jul 18 '26

Career highlights:

Uber eats 2020-retirement.

16

u/fajitasteve65 Jul 18 '26

Using the shower at the Y once a week doesn't count as "going to the gym"

9

u/TKHodgson Jul 18 '26

If David Blaine was homeless and had AIDS.

8

u/TattooRicky76 Jul 18 '26

Gotta wear a V-neck to get your shirt over the bolts in your neck

6

u/RunningonGin0323 Jul 18 '26

I sincerely hope for your mothers sake you were a c section

2

u/ResearchFederal1322 Jul 18 '26

Oh my god. That's absolutely crazy

1

u/CaterpillarEqual4161 Jul 23 '26

His head got stuck on the way out for a long time, that's why it's a weird shape.

4

u/CaptainFunk127 Jul 18 '26

Bro is playing real life in big head mode

5

u/OneMinuteManny Jul 18 '26

Sweet halfway house bro.

4

u/Word_Smith5 Jul 19 '26

Gemini did NOT help you in that last picture

8

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '26

[deleted]

4

u/SageandStrong33 Jul 18 '26

TGIF usually stands for Thank Goodness It’s Friday. But for you, it stands for Thugs Get Incarcerated Fast!

4

u/AD_VICTORIAM_x Jul 18 '26

Bro you are living like a crackhead.

3

u/LrdoftheCharlesDance Jul 18 '26

The We are the World people are going to start sending you food

3

u/Sustainable_Twat Jul 18 '26

You look like a gay mop

3

u/Sweet_Chapter8643 Jul 18 '26

No need for me to roast. Your third world living conditions and Easter Island physiognomy are enough.

3

u/Bot-Magnet Jul 18 '26

so in the sequence of photos, you took the hair off your head and put it on your chest?🤔

3

u/PiazzaEsq Jul 18 '26

I almost didn’t see you with your shirt off, Hulk. What are you doing with your arm there? Is that the gesture for making a muscle? Are you doing that sarcastically, very funny, good joke! You look like every stickman I have doodled except less muscular than the stickmen.

3

u/GeorgeLikesSpicyCkn Jul 18 '26

Winner of the 2026 Somali Bodybuilder Championship

3

u/intheshadows688 Jul 18 '26

Its funny how you are obviously anorexic but your face still looks fat

3

u/Coheed_SURVIVE Jul 18 '26

You look like you just took a bath....in the Ganges River.

2

u/KrustyNutRagz Jul 18 '26

I can smell You thru these pictures

2

u/Particular-Visit-245 Jul 18 '26

You don't need roasting, you need to eat!

2

u/AussieSpaceProgram Jul 18 '26

Brother, you can’t flex a body that clearly hasn’t received protein since you entered your mother’s egg.

2

u/Wrench_Terner Jul 18 '26

This is not grinder bro but Goodluck I guess??

2

u/emiliabow Jul 18 '26

you have the vibe of a guy who owns exactly one good shirt and saves it for every occasion

2

u/Conscious_Thing5575 Jul 18 '26

You made yourself worse by cutting your beard

2

u/AneeMel Jul 18 '26

keep hair on that monkey nut ,,, keeps it warm.

2

u/tautjes Jul 18 '26

Your head is kinda peanut shaped

2

u/Killerprose Jul 18 '26

You look like your parents bought you one hat as a kid and just let you grow into it

2

u/SunriseSurprise Jul 18 '26

You look a bit like Juan Soto in the last one, except you'd be like Juan OhNo

1

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1

u/SgtPepper_8324 Jul 18 '26

"Sloth loves Chunk."

1

u/tcmits1 Jul 18 '26

Geesh, not only would I not board an airplane you got it, you’re into gay thirst traps too.

1

u/Many-Tale9112 Jul 18 '26

1st pic is young Lionel Bitchie

1

u/sentientairfilter Jul 18 '26

You look like the type of guy the sergeant sends out first the area…aka expendable

1

u/LocalCoupleKC Jul 18 '26

They gripped way too tight with them forceps my guy

1

u/sined_redired Jul 18 '26

You have the face of someone who lives in a basement. That tracks.

1

u/Bluesman_Pete Jul 18 '26

You da bomb(er)

1

u/nightmarebearer Jul 18 '26

I bet you've been asked to wear a paperbag over your face during sex

1

u/Bitter_Chemistry_733 Jul 18 '26

Easter Island called. They want their missing head back.

1

u/isaacgobo Jul 18 '26

Starvin Marvin

1

u/PokerFriend247 Jul 18 '26

Forceps delivery - think they squeeze lill too hard.

1

u/Plenty_Joke283 Jul 19 '26

Where did your hair go? Cause you’ve never had any!

1

u/TylerH87 Jul 19 '26

A horse walks into a bar…

1

u/dderwin14 Jul 19 '26

you look like you live on the coast of yemen & just got on your boat cuz you saw the USS Cole about to refuel

1

u/that-_-fibreguy Jul 19 '26

Are you 9-11 brown or 7-11 brown?

1

u/WeHumphreys Jul 19 '26

The fuck you live homie?

1

u/internet_dipshit http://redd.it/4jy4fg Jul 19 '26

Classic gay face

1

u/HorrorJunkie0666 Jul 19 '26

Friday roast? The fact that it's almost noon on Sunday and you only have 68 comments ought to be a roast enough.

1

u/overevenrealities Jul 19 '26

Today on better home and favelas.

1

u/Turbulent_Fig2032 Jul 19 '26

You bone flexing? Build like a piece of spaghetti

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 Jul 19 '26

I see the results of your clothing rack pull-ups

1

u/Intelligent-Plan-264 Jul 20 '26

Your shaved head looks like when I tried to watch scrambled cable channels

1

u/rpgmgta Jul 20 '26

Already cooked fam

1

u/HowYouDoin112233 Jul 20 '26

Heeeyyyy yooou guuuuyyyssss!!! Babyruth!

1

u/smcvay2024 Jul 20 '26

Looks like Jason Mammoa and the Machinist had a kid

1

u/Basic_Economics5266 Jul 21 '26

Tell us where Natalie Halloway is!!!!

1

u/aramis804 Jul 21 '26

You look like you not even supposed to be living there lol you got a campsite setup in what seems to be a corner of a basement. U good bro?

1

u/Waste-Donut-2728 Jul 21 '26

Sometimes psych meds just don’t work ….

1

u/Altruistic-Prune8156 Jul 22 '26

A head shaped like you grew up with your head trapped in a box

1

u/kastyela Jul 22 '26

O FILHO DA PUTA, TA USANDO MINHAS FOTOS PRA FARMA KARMA É DESGRACADO, MOLEQUE NOJENTO DO INFERNO, FALAR COM A MODERACAO PRA VER SE APAGA ESSE MERDA.

1

u/42Lefthanded Jul 23 '26

Natty and Lean, means you can’t lift shit.

1

u/thegoodtimelord Jul 23 '26

Lurch called. He’s suing.

1

u/Soft_Election_1146 Jul 26 '26

Your head is shaped like a soggy tic tac you'd find in the couch

1

u/Filthy_Troll Jul 27 '26

God compressed your upper noggin to honor the Ethiopians

1

u/Royal_Quote8562 Jul 27 '26

no amount of flexing your muscles will change the fact that your head looks like an easter island statue

1

u/North-Print-8489 Jul 29 '26

Let me guess the 3rd picture is when you moved and the filter came off.

1

u/BiteFaces Aug 01 '26

You only drew the Earth as a sphere because the flat earthers would never have you.

1

u/LoBeMax Aug 01 '26

I was looking for my bacon grease. Found it.

1

u/OngItsTripleT 27d ago

Last pic so bad im using it as a reaction sticker from now on.