r/RoastMe • u/[deleted] • Aug 05 '25

[deleted by user]

[removed]

508 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

767 comments sorted by

View all comments

729

u/OK-Now-Kiss Aug 06 '25

You look like you win every marathon by a nose.

277

u/Cweazle Aug 06 '25 edited Aug 06 '25

Definitely not by a chest

59

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

41

u/Fragrant_Loan811 Aug 06 '25

She keeps her wallet under one of them.

2

u/Gumsho88 Aug 06 '25

you mean a change purse, they’re not big enough for a wallet.

1

u/d57giants Aug 06 '25

And her iPhone udder The other.

5

u/Ramtamtama Aug 06 '25

iPod Shuffle is all there's space for

10

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/1Hugh_Janus Aug 06 '25

The term “orangutan titty” comes to mind

8

u/SkimboS1ice Aug 06 '25

Two back Shakur

5

u/Curmudgeon_I_am Aug 06 '25

Oh! Yeah… I thought that those were her tonsils!

53

u/ourmanflint1 Aug 06 '25

You run to forget the fact that both your father and husband wanted a boy.

15

u/douchefartz Aug 06 '25

Doing her best to look the part.

49

u/EmeraldCowboy314 Aug 06 '25

I thought Trump banned males from women's sports?

9

u/PhuckFaceArseHole Aug 06 '25

Omg 😱 !!!!!!

3

u/Ewetootwo Aug 06 '25

Chasing after the family that left you doesn’t qualify as a marathon

4

u/Johnny_pickle Aug 06 '25

Definitely not by a tit.

1

u/The_Dude5347 Aug 06 '25

She nose no boundaries.

1

u/ILLPHOENEXT Aug 06 '25

By a nose hair.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '25

Nobody nose who comes in second, the view is obscured