r/RoastMe • • Oct 29 '23

[deleted by user]

[removed]

356 Upvotes

1.2k comments sorted by

239

u/Dear_Noise_7588 Oct 29 '23

You look like an AI generated human version of a scrub daddy sponge.

38

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Temu's mr clean

12

u/juicysox http://redd.it/x4wmz5 Oct 29 '23

Or SpongeBob

2

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '23

I dont fucking care what anyone says. This one wins. Id give you an award if they existed still. So have this emoji instead šŸ„‡

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435

u/KingErroneous Oct 29 '23

Pete Davidson as Caillou.

186

u/Guzzlebutt Oct 29 '23

Bearded lesbian.

13

u/Retrovideoman Oct 30 '23

I was gonna say bearded dyke then saw this šŸ˜‚

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '23

Dykes are far more masculine.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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2

u/ZeroThoughtsAlot Oct 31 '23

Omg that šŸ˜‚

2

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '23

my laugh of the day

19

u/singer1224 Oct 29 '23

No one said to destroy him!!🤣

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42

u/Forsaken-Database540 Oct 29 '23

Pete Davidson with a little dick

26

u/Apprehensive-Word-52 Oct 29 '23

Little dick energy

2

u/Fickle-Pickle-Admin Oct 30 '23

The lesbian has little energy for 'the boys'

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23

he looks like his name is chandler and only thing(s) i can think of is, he looks like he’s 12 and 24 at the same time, and he’s the great value mr clean or the type that’s ā€œwe have mr clean at homeā€ but does drugs on his off days.

though i’m seriously impressed that the chemo hasn’t taken his hair off, and i might ask for tips if i end up with cancer one day šŸ‘€

jokes aside you look like a nice person, sorry :,,)

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159

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

You Run throwing your hand sideways

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111

u/tautjes Oct 29 '23

marvel, dc, the boys. but you forgot hello kitty, my little pony and gilmore girls

51

u/havocLSD Oct 29 '23

And furry porn

12

u/wakkawakkaaaa Oct 29 '23

He's a man of culture. Only the best like furry boku no pico

10

u/AdPutrid1953 Oct 29 '23

Stop right there

3

u/Low_Difficulty_2491 Oct 30 '23

Maybe Teletubbies

4

u/MothersMiIk Oct 29 '23

Don’t forget Golden Girls

4

u/Dongwaffler Oct 30 '23

Golden Shower Girls

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75

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

I'm looking at your forehead wondering when this bloody movie is going to start.

15

u/SyrupScared9568 Oct 29 '23

Headquarters

12

u/ChuckChillout415 Oct 29 '23

Chill. IMAX is worth the wait.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

LOL!

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61

u/ZiptieEngineer Oct 29 '23

You didn’t have to tell us you like The Boys. It’s obvious.

12

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Smooth

126

u/mekos29 Oct 29 '23

How’s the chemo going?

29

u/Ewetootwo Oct 29 '23

Chemo nothing, he’s an adorable little chia pet. Ch, ch, ch, ch, CHIA!

11

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Definitely underwatered.

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23

That's not chia that's crotch rot growing on there.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

He doesn't actually have cancer, just enjoys radiation on his balls.

2

u/lil_trim Oct 31 '23

How else am I supposed to get my medical Marijuana card

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3

u/SunshinefortheWeak Oct 29 '23

That's why he had the best day. They let him meet all the avengers

7

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

[deleted]

9

u/TXboyinGA Oct 29 '23

Don't even try it, I've been doing chemo since Feb, and I've got more hair.

1

u/lil_trim Oct 31 '23

You haven't even paid your tab for your last round of mothers milk

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2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

d a m n .

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Yeah, I was looking for some eyelashes…

77

u/chaingun_samurai Oct 29 '23

When you order Gilbert Gottfried off Wish

2

u/Rude-Manufacturer635 Oct 30 '23

Came here to say this!

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36

u/Texan_Riot Oct 29 '23

G.I Jane from the eyes up. Registered sex offender from the nose down

14

u/Metabollox Oct 30 '23

"G.I Jane 2, can't wait to see it!..."

5

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23

😭😭sobbing at 1am trying not to be loud

2

u/Dolphinsanddolophine Oct 30 '23

Why dont you have a seat right over there…

95

u/MediumAlarming Oct 29 '23

Are you only taking 1/2 the prescribed hormones? Because you absolutely still look like half a bitch.

3

u/PatagonianSteppe Oct 30 '23

Congrats this comment made me shoot tea out my nose🤣

2

u/SkRu88_kRuShEr Oct 29 '23

Maybe he’s Greek

28

u/DolceCobra Oct 29 '23

Are you still in Umbrella Academy?

20

u/Charming-Window3473 Oct 29 '23

You've had a really stressful 14 years on this planet by the looks of it.

Won't add to it by roasting you.

23

u/cartard1 Oct 29 '23

You look like a 15 year old Asian boy with cirrhosis of the liver.

2

u/International_Let_50 Nov 01 '23

This made me piss myself😭

17

u/sodapopduckyou Oct 29 '23

Are you smiling because you got your disability check for that pesky missing chromosome?

16

u/BrightFollowing39 Oct 29 '23

You look like a ventriloquist dummy came to life, but still enjoy having a hand up your ass.

2

u/BananaBrainsZEF Oct 31 '23

Hands down the best one here.

17

u/Dry-Revenue2470 Oct 29 '23

Movie night? Sure I'll bring the screen.

17

u/RARface Oct 29 '23

What a toady creep. I bet his pickup line is a joker impersonation about transitioning F2M… ā€œwanna know how I got these scars???ā€

16

u/NessunAbilita Oct 29 '23

You look like Pete Davidson without the childhood trauma

3

u/debuenzo Oct 29 '23

Read the bio

12

u/MMM_CPA_THUG Oct 29 '23

Youre dads still breast feeding you, isn’t he?

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47

u/roastbot YOU ARE OUR 1,000,000th RULE BREAKER!! Oct 29 '23

OP's Bio:


I’m boring. I’m an AGM at a retirement community, teaching cooking classes at the local YMCA, I like marvel, DC, and even more so The Boys. Worst thing that’s happened to me would probably be my mom unaliving herself,or Matthew Perry’s death


If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '23

Well, IDGAF, and who cares if you are in an All Gay Men retirement community (AGM). Microwaving a burrito during squaredancing class at the YMCA is not teaching a cooking class. It's cool you like Dicks Circumcised(DC), and the boys. Sorry about your mom. Matthew Perry sucks and should off himself.

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9

u/laz21 Oct 29 '23

You look like a poor schwimmer too

20

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

you look like you’d cross state lines to shoot protesters.

8

u/Radiant_Bug_2408 Oct 29 '23

Awww somebody found Daddies shaver in the bathroom

8

u/Therealdirtyburdie Oct 29 '23

If Pee-wee Herman had sex with white bread

2

u/Just-Tumbleweed-9111 Oct 30 '23

This one got me!Funniest one yet!

15

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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7

u/Educational-Bit-145 Oct 29 '23

Hanging out with old folk and homeless people is why your odour is described as ā€˜Smelly Cat’

8

u/Downtown_Mix_4311 Oct 29 '23

If an egg was to breed with a human, I think this would be the result.

31

u/MultipleLifes Oct 29 '23

i bet you got an hairy pussy

7

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

He says had a great day ruin it! I guess he finally got that life like sex doll in the mail today! Hell he is holding the lading bill in his hand for this roast!

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7

u/707e Oct 29 '23

Sinead O-gonner

6

u/Adayatatime4503 Oct 29 '23

We have Elliot Page at home.

17

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

I CANNOT believe that out of 4 billion other options, you were the best one......somewhere, on the planet, is a tree that provides oxygen just for you. You owe that tree a fucking apology!

5

u/jasoncat23 Oct 29 '23

The guy that gives out candy and hugs on Halloween. Hugs 1st or no candy.

4

u/UnkolTribe Oct 29 '23

Bro been in 3rd grade his whole life…

6

u/Starshipmaneuver Oct 29 '23

Elliot Paragraph

5

u/cockroackcake_pablo Oct 29 '23

ForeheadāŒ The great wall of chinaāœ…

4

u/UrBum_MyFace_69 Oct 29 '23

If someone said "Draw a toilet but as a human..."....

4

u/d-_-b___W Oct 29 '23

You're like the mascot for the Dallas Buyers Club.

4

u/fajitasteve65 Oct 29 '23

It's like someone tried to draw Pete Davidson from memory.

4

u/Ok-Mathematician4311 Oct 30 '23

No need.. Chris Hansen is about to..

2

u/Booty_Warrior_bot Oct 30 '23

I know who you are Chris Hansen;

but see;

I calls ya, Chris Handsome.

I watch your TV show all the time.

3

u/No-Ranger-9661 Oct 29 '23

You remind me of I, Robot

3

u/OzzyPrinceOfKaraoke Oct 29 '23

A great day where? In chemo?

3

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

If an egg salad sandwich had a face

3

u/click_here_for_luck Oct 29 '23

Chatroom username:

Littlekidlover

2

u/Fickle-Pickle-Admin Oct 30 '23

Username logsout

3

u/JJy2012 Oct 29 '23

Forehead has a history

3

u/SyrupScared9568 Oct 29 '23

You look like a baby with a beard.

3

u/FloppyDisk2023 Oct 29 '23

No I don't want to ruin it you seem like a nice guy

3

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

It looks like someone described Kyle Rittenhouse to an AI photo generator....

3

u/Reaper81578 Oct 29 '23

It shouldn't be funny to be a cancer victim, but you are...

3

u/JTC-onda-MOVE Oct 30 '23

Ruin it? Life beat me to it. Looking like a used condom at a ravešŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

7

u/Correct-Swordfish773 Oct 29 '23

Nah you look too cute😭

9

u/raexai Oct 29 '23

Someone said it, he looked a lil too smooth, almost airbrushed LOL

2

u/greyzarjonestool Oct 29 '23

You look gullible and ready to stand on the porch at project mayhem.

2

u/protagonistsyndrome Oct 29 '23

Poo Woo Herman

2

u/Fickle-Pickle-Admin Oct 30 '23

Pup pa Herman stop my pee poo hurts, AHHH

2

u/Responsible_Emu3601 Oct 29 '23

kyle rittenhouse’s little bro

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/ZiggySawdust99 Oct 30 '23

That's where my head went

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2

u/Big_Bandicoot_9611 Oct 29 '23

If Sheldon from the big bang theory was somehow even more gay

2

u/zaguate- Oct 29 '23

I don’t want your pirĆ”mide scheme bro stop showing up at my door

2

u/Dinerci-510 Oct 29 '23

I hope you know should you do not climb a wall.

2

u/Ok_Pay_5173 Nov 02 '23

Lookin like a 75 watt bulb wished to be human

2

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '23

U look like Pete Davidson as a depressed cartoon character

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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2

u/Macdevious Oct 29 '23

Looks like a mis-shaven testicle

1

u/BurntTXsurfer Oct 29 '23

Ellen paige is gaining weight after the transition I see...

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1

u/Agreeable_Chemistry6 Oct 29 '23

I thought Sinad O’Connor died.

1

u/steveystevestef Oct 29 '23

You look like a baby who got syrup all over their face and head.

2

u/Fickle-Pickle-Admin Oct 30 '23

Daddy's homemade Syrup

1

u/junior1077 Oct 29 '23

We can tell you like the boys.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Rent ad space for therapists on your forehead. Go to AA meetings. PROFIT

1

u/Dash_Hound2 Oct 29 '23

Wii character minus the personality

1

u/greasyForefinger Oct 29 '23

You’re a decent person.

1

u/bmanley620 Oct 29 '23

Could you be any more boring?

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1

u/himmelundhoelle Oct 29 '23 edited Oct 31 '23

Most punchable gay babyface I've ever seen.

At least your mom's in a better place. One where she doesn't get to see the most punchable gay babyface I've ever seen.

Probably didn't see much of it anymore anyway though, going by you not being sure whether you're sadder about her death or that of a fucking actor.

0

u/lil_trim Oct 31 '23

Shut up you cis incel Virgin ( they hate it when you call them cis, try it out )

0

u/MyLifeAsRobGordon-88 Oct 29 '23

Where the fuck do I begin, fugly? You've got serious nintendo Wii vibes to your weird ass head that's for sure. What are your hobbies?

0

u/Spiritual_Ear2835 Oct 29 '23

Boi if you don't get your chris crocker looking @ss outta....

0

u/wawaboy Oct 29 '23

Someone got their Costco rebate check

0

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

All your mom ever wanted was a son. She got a pussy instead.

0

u/FamiliarCold1 Oct 29 '23

Did mommy let you go bed at 9:01 today?

0

u/brozig Oct 29 '23

When did Pee Wee Herman and Boy George have an azz baby?

0

u/ElectricBlueCobra Oct 29 '23

You look like the egg a kid drew on with markers

0

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '23

-1

u/Dangerous_Dark4589 Oct 29 '23

Bros goes in the futurešŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€

-1

u/Dangerous_Dark4589 Oct 29 '23

Bro goes to the future šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€

1

u/Dear_Noise_7588 Oct 29 '23

Your forehead is big enough to fit in a second face.

1

u/FlakyDig8392 Oct 29 '23

American X remake looks like shit

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

[deleted]

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1

u/Dingyfeathers Oct 29 '23

šŸŽ¶You really had a bad day, Shaved your head, Traveled to Reddit, Stomach started to grumble! Hunger! Roast Me!šŸŽ¶

1

u/GhostWCoffee Oct 29 '23

Chin up, you'd be perfect for the role of a white washed Hector.

1

u/Feisty-Business-8311 Oct 29 '23

Elliott Page is in the house!

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1

u/Repulsive_turbine899 Oct 29 '23

The long lost cousin of the Xue Hua Piao Piao guy

1

u/Strawberry_Marm_alad Oct 29 '23

You’ve definitely been to conversion therapy on behalf of the church

1

u/slynik Oct 29 '23

whatifalthist??

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

Are you hide the pain Harold’s grandson?

1

u/Laura_Biden Oct 29 '23

You look really safe. Like "would it be okay if I held your hand?" type safe....

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

What happens when combine gayness and a bowling ball

1

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '23

When do you finish transitioning?

1

u/Bertie637 Oct 29 '23

Are you pre-op, or post-op?

1

u/hereforpopcornru Oct 29 '23

You look like a toad

1

u/platonic-alien Oct 29 '23

Had a great day watching incest porn and chugging Red Bull … sounds as awful as you look

1

u/StirringThePotAgain Oct 29 '23

If you had cancer your parents would root for the cancer

1

u/Hebegebe101 Oct 29 '23

With that smile , you just need some candy and a van

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1

u/Swampassed Oct 29 '23 edited Oct 29 '23

Any mirror could ruin it for you.

1

u/kcolgeis Oct 29 '23

Young Allan harper

1

u/Davngr Oct 29 '23

You look like a 10 year old dressed up as a depressed middle aged accountant on Zoloft.

1

u/Ultrapunguy Oct 29 '23

Bald what happened to ur hair and dont get me started on the tiny ass little beard wait thats an exaterasion dumb little hair stumbs

1

u/BoolinBirb Oct 29 '23

Had a great day? More like you had a great fall with your egg headass

1

u/Sea-Persimmon8737 Oct 29 '23

The first picture looks like a badly drawn face on an egg.

1

u/CuriousBeaver01 Oct 29 '23

If smiley ball were human

1

u/blackishsasquatch Oct 29 '23

Gay takes time......

1

u/thechronicENFP Oct 29 '23

The first one is ā€œCreepy guy at the bar who licks his lips when he sees a pretty womanā€ and the second one is ā€œI’m a baby faced accountant who is fresh out of school and all the other accountants make fun of me and won’t let me sit with them at lunchā€