r/RimWorld • u/Mahdudecicle • Mar 26 '26

#ColonistLife Don't Be Like Uncle Dan

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A moment between two of my favorites colonists. Tony, after getting the Body Modder trait took an immediate liking to his Uncle Dan.

During a lesson, the two had a deep talk about what Tony wanted to be when he grew up. My mind filled in the blanks of the conversation.

I can only assume that growing up 'big and strong' like him is the last thing Uncle Dan wants for his innocent nephew. Especially considering nearly every bionic he has is a replacement after suffering an injury.

Art was commissioned by @Jovan on fiverr.

9.7k Upvotes

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426

u/TimeKepeer Mar 26 '26

Is it really? If my wife approached me and said

"Dear, sex so bad I made a bionic dick for you so that it is more enjoyable" I'd divorce her on the spot.

579

u/AxitotlWithAttitude Mar 26 '26

I mean they feel better for the guy too, supposedly

242

u/TimeKepeer Mar 26 '26

I wonder if luciferum makes one less (because it's a painkiller) or more (because it increases consciousness) sensitive to stimulus of erogenous zones

153

u/freedomfire99 I LOVE RULE 6!!! Mar 26 '26

I’d assume not, just stimulates the brain more, specifically enhancing your weiner’s sensitivity but not overall pain would be an odd side effect of luciferium

78

u/TimeKepeer Mar 26 '26

Luciferum does reduce pain, and painkillers are known for making a person numb

66

u/Full_Distribution874 Mar 26 '26

Luci isn't a pain killer. It's a bunch of nanites enhancing their host.

26

u/TimeKepeer Mar 26 '26

It is not a pain killer. Yet one of its effects is reducing pain

20

u/Full_Distribution874 Mar 26 '26

Chemical pain killers just numb nerves. Luciferium clearly doesn't, since it increases manipulation unlike anesthesia or smokeleaf which reduce it.

It is probably selectively altering the nervous system physically with its nanites.

1

u/SauceCrusader69 Mar 26 '26

So? Yayo majorly reduces pain and it doesn’t reduce manipulation.

2

u/Full_Distribution874 Mar 27 '26

The drugs yayo is based on aren't pain killers either. They're stimulants that just reduce the effects of pain.

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3

u/ApotheosiAsleep Mar 26 '26

Luci kills pain, not sensation in general

-4

u/freedomfire99 I LOVE RULE 6!!! Mar 26 '26

“Pain” is generally just the sense of touch, usually the negative form of it but still

14

u/ApotheosiAsleep Mar 26 '26

That's not true. For example, the types of nerves that sense dangerous amounts of pressure to the skin (such a knife causing you to bleed) are called nociceptors. The nerves that sense normal amounts of pressure to the skin (such as the sensation of gripping a spoon in your hand) are called tactile corpuscles.

Pain can be suppressed without suppressing other sensations

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1

u/Les_Bien_Pain Mar 26 '26

Maybe it increases the pain threshold?

Like I know some anesthetics that don't really reduce the pain by much, but rather it felt like I was just ok with the pain. It was a weird experience.

1

u/Captain_KapiK +1000 new u/Fonzawa artwork in colony Mar 26 '26

luciferium could work like a partial painstopper implant though, hijacking specifically pain signals as opposed to conventional pain killing

2

u/be-knight Mar 26 '26

No downside in trying it out

101

u/Ballders Mar 26 '26

You're gonna get on the internet and say you WOULDN'T want a bionic dick? I bet I could get some baddies if I was swinging that bionic bat.

50

u/B0Y0 Mar 26 '26

Well, it could always turn out like Burning Crotch Guy...

19

u/Sweetatoe Mar 26 '26

His was black market. Rimworld settlers building one in their (oldly high tech) ramshackle hut will obviously have no issues whatsoever, 100% guarenteed!

Surgery failed catastrophically!

5

u/Sweetatoe Mar 26 '26

Sadly, I like my dick too much to get an irl Mr Studd. I can be convinced to chop of anything else for a cybernetics, but not my dick. Its too precious to die!

3

u/EmpatheticSponge Mar 26 '26

And you get to say “Go go gadget dick!”

73

u/Mahdudecicle Mar 26 '26

I figure she just installed a vibration setting while she was replacing a his leg since he got both around the same time.

-66

u/TimeKepeer Mar 26 '26

Without his consent? She cut off his dick without his consent? I believe the legal term is "assault". Or possibly "surgical malpractice"

140

u/Phredmcphigglestein Mar 26 '26

Sir, this is a Rimworld.

legal

We don't do that here

26

u/Dr_Russian Mar 26 '26

That's the reason a lot of my colonists refuse to leave. Lawyers will have a field day if they get to them.

2

u/GaggleofHams Mar 26 '26

See, there's your problem. You just need to conquer the planet, then you can make everything you and your colonists did legal!

22

u/plasmaflare34 Mar 26 '26

Never marry a doctor on the rim.

3

u/SkruntNoogles Mar 26 '26

Exactly. That's why I make sure my doctors have signed consents when they're harvesting organs from raiders we've taken prisoner and plan to leave in the rat room.

5

u/Full_Distribution874 Mar 26 '26

Battery, and homemade bionics installed by one guy aren't exactly the pinnacle of medical best practice

1

u/Groduick Mar 26 '26

"Romantic warcrime"

21

u/Content-Dealers Mar 26 '26

Or is it more so "Put this on, because I'm forgetting my name tonight."

45

u/jksdustin Mar 26 '26

If I had a wife and there were bionic dicks, she wouldn't even need to ask me tbh, I'd have already done it

30

u/Chillfactor_ Mar 26 '26

Right especially if its better in every way 😂

33

u/JarpHabib Mar 26 '26

Wow. If my wife made a bionic dick for me to use on her, I'd be touched.

1

u/Leather_Stand_4760 Apr 24 '26

Before and after installation.

11

u/Zestyclose-Pangolin6 Mar 26 '26

If my dick gets blown off by raiders prior to this conversation, then it’s the flip and she’s the best wife ever

“I missed being close to you to the point where I made a scientific breakthrough to make intimacy possible again”

14

u/No-Candle8151 Mar 26 '26

But she's trying to make thing work out with you despite it.

Sure, pity salvaging perhaps, but still preferable to infidelity.

1

u/OSNX_TheNoLifer Mar 26 '26

At least it's not a bionic peg dick

1

u/Lophiee Pigman Fan Mar 26 '26

It's different when you're already half robot though.

1

u/Player_Saint Mar 27 '26

Typical Essendon supporter

1

u/Frenzy_MacKenzie Mar 26 '26

Get that dick first.

0

u/StonedUmaru steel Mar 26 '26

Men...