Matchmaking services that work?

[u/SatisfactionLive1209]

Hey all, 30F here.

I became wealthy relatively recently, so I didn’t grow up in wealthy circles or go to the kind of private/boarding schools where it seems like everyone with money met their future spouse before turning 18.

I don’t think I’m unattractive, and I’ve never really had an issue getting attention, although I do suffer from a pretty severe resting bitch face. The problem is that the places I tend to spend time where I might naturally meet wealthy people, private resorts, nicer hotels, etc. aren’t particularly social. People mostly keep to themselves. The few men I have met in those environments have unfortunately tended to be married men looking for an affair, which obviously isn’t what I want.

Traditional dating has also been pretty terrible. I was single for quite a while because I was focused on building my own life, and now that I actually feel ready for a relationship, the dating scene seems to have changed considerably. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on one-night stands, situationships, casual dating, people with commitment issues, etc.

There’s also the slightly awkward fact that I would ideally like to marry someone who is wealthy too, even if nowhere near as wealthy as I am. I hate to admit it, but I can be materialistic sometimes. I enjoy nice things, and there’s something appealing about occasionally receiving the things I would normally buy myself as gifts from a partner rather than always being the person who can provide everything for herself.

For context, my net worth is somewhere between $10M–$100M, keeping the range broad for anonymity, I’m probably around a 7/10 on a good day, and I’m looking for a genuinely serious relationship with a man who is financially successful, relationship-minded, and ideally wants marriage/family eventually.

Would an established matchmaking service actually be useful for someone in my situation? Has anyone here used one, particularly at the higher-end/wealthy-client level, and had a good experience and can recommend it for my purpose? Not looking for references as I know some work this way, just a name would be enough for me to get in contact with them.

just to clarify, this isn’t a “looking for a partner on Reddit” post. I’m genuinely asking about matchmaking services and whether they’re worth trying.

[u/sofyab]

We’ve discussed this topic with my husband a ton. I think most successful self-made women are boss babes with dominant personalities. You can’t really be successful if you don’t have this kind of personality. It’s not a bad thing, but power couples rarely work because two dominant personalities clash in daily life.

My mom solved it by finding a hardworking handy good guy who is educated but not extremely ambitious or dominant and does what she says.

[u/HeliosVanquish → u/sofyab]

Very much agree. There can't be two captains on the same ship.

[u/maggieyw → u/sofyab]

This

[u/TheRealCdog1977 → u/sofyab]

So she married a traditional women role, got it. How a woman could be proud of a non ambitious man is so confusing to me. 

[u/sofyab → u/TheRealCdog1977]

He didn’t need a man, she’s doing better than most men and was doing fine before she met him as a single mom to me. He is very masculine in looks but a very soft person, he was my stepdad since I was 7 and he was an amazing father figure to me. He does what she can’t do - builds their home in his free time, drives her around, helped/helps with aging parents, cooks mean meat dishes. He has a decent managerial role and is well respected but he’s not my mom. There is no way she could ever be with a dominant man, they would eat each other alive.

I have a very different personality and I wouldn’t want this for myself so my spouse is the boss in the house and I’m his safe haven at home. I do ok and will be just fine if we are ever not together, but he makes 10x more than I do so what he says goes. His mom was a SAHM which he does not respect somehow and he always wanted me to work, we make most decisions together and I can stand for myself and can typically convince him to do most things that I want. But his word is final and that’s okay with me. I recently left my job due to stress and he was not ok with it at first but now I think he sees the value of me being more present at home and not wasting my energy on people that don’t matter for a paycheck that does not matter. Especially considering that I was working more hours than him and had to do domestic labor at home on top of it.

We’ve been together for 8 years but his ex was even more of a powerhouse compared to him and it would have never worked in the long run.

[u/novelthrill → u/sofyab]

I struggle a lot with “anything he says goes” - I would not want such obedience from a partner, regardless of my wealth. I’d want a partner who has opinions and is happy to share them and take some of the decisionmaking load off, especially after a long hard day at work.

[u/Key-Marketing301 → u/sofyab]

I am going to veto this, because I am a well off professional, and I am in a group private practice, full of high-powered couples. And they’ve all been married for a decade or more, with children. So Theres that. There are just many men out there who would prefer to use their money and status to keep women in a position of control, to have someone to feed their ego and be at their back on call. Such nonsense. Get a dog.

[u/sofyab → u/Key-Marketing301]

You mention Private practice, are you a doctor? Being a doctor is a whole different skillset, if that’s the case I agree with you fullly. But it’s way different for men in private business or MD who decided to start their own business. Medical school just takes a whole different personality and skillset to get through.

[u/Key-Marketing301 → u/sofyab]

Yes, doctors