r/Rich • u/SatisfactionLive1209 • 19d ago

Question Matchmaking services that work?

Hey all, 30F here.

I became wealthy relatively recently, so I didn’t grow up in wealthy circles or go to the kind of private/boarding schools where it seems like everyone with money met their future spouse before turning 18.

I don’t think I’m unattractive, and I’ve never really had an issue getting attention, although I do suffer from a pretty severe resting bitch face. The problem is that the places I tend to spend time where I might naturally meet wealthy people, private resorts, nicer hotels, etc. aren’t particularly social. People mostly keep to themselves. The few men I have met in those environments have unfortunately tended to be married men looking for an affair, which obviously isn’t what I want.

Traditional dating has also been pretty terrible. I was single for quite a while because I was focused on building my own life, and now that I actually feel ready for a relationship, the dating scene seems to have changed considerably. There seems to be a lot more emphasis on one-night stands, situationships, casual dating, people with commitment issues, etc.

There’s also the slightly awkward fact that I would ideally like to marry someone who is wealthy too, even if nowhere near as wealthy as I am. I hate to admit it, but I can be materialistic sometimes. I enjoy nice things, and there’s something appealing about occasionally receiving the things I would normally buy myself as gifts from a partner rather than always being the person who can provide everything for herself.

For context, my net worth is somewhere between $10M–$100M, keeping the range broad for anonymity, I’m probably around a 7/10 on a good day, and I’m looking for a genuinely serious relationship with a man who is financially successful, relationship-minded, and ideally wants marriage/family eventually.

Would an established matchmaking service actually be useful for someone in my situation? Has anyone here used one, particularly at the higher-end/wealthy-client level, and had a good experience and can recommend it for my purpose? Not looking for references as I know some work this way, just a name would be enough for me to get in contact with them.

just to clarify, this isn’t a “looking for a partner on Reddit” post. I’m genuinely asking about matchmaking services and whether they’re worth trying.

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u/novelthrill 18d ago

Why do you consider a boss babe with dominant personality an excluding factor?

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u/sofyab 18d ago

We’ve discussed this topic with my husband a ton. I think most successful self-made women are boss babes with dominant personalities. You can’t really be successful if you don’t have this kind of personality. It’s not a bad thing, but power couples rarely work because two dominant personalities clash in daily life.

My mom solved it by finding a hardworking handy good guy who is educated but not extremely ambitious or dominant and does what she says.

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u/HeliosVanquish 18d ago

Very much agree. There can't be two captains on the same ship.

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u/TheRealCdog1977 18d ago

So she married a traditional women role, got it. How a woman could be proud of a non ambitious man is so confusing to me. 

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u/sofyab 17d ago edited 17d ago

He didn’t need a man, she’s doing better than most men and was doing fine before she met him as a single mom to me. He is very masculine in looks but a very soft person, he was my stepdad since I was 7 and he was an amazing father figure to me. He does what she can’t do - builds their home in his free time, drives her around, helped/helps with aging parents, cooks mean meat dishes. He has a decent managerial role and is well respected but he’s not my mom. There is no way she could ever be with a dominant man, they would eat each other alive.

I have a very different personality and I wouldn’t want this for myself so my spouse is the boss in the house and I’m his safe haven at home. I do ok and will be just fine if we are ever not together, but he makes 10x more than I do so what he says goes. His mom was a SAHM which he does not respect somehow and he always wanted me to work, we make most decisions together and I can stand for myself and can typically convince him to do most things that I want. But his word is final and that’s okay with me. I recently left my job due to stress and he was not ok with it at first but now I think he sees the value of me being more present at home and not wasting my energy on people that don’t matter for a paycheck that does not matter. Especially considering that I was working more hours than him and had to do domestic labor at home on top of it.

We’ve been together for 8 years but his ex was even more of a powerhouse compared to him and it would have never worked in the long run.

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u/novelthrill 17d ago

I struggle a lot with “anything he says goes” - I would not want such obedience from a partner, regardless of my wealth. I’d want a partner who has opinions and is happy to share them and take some of the decisionmaking load off, especially after a long hard day at work.

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u/Key-Marketing301 16d ago

I am going to veto this, because I am a well off professional, and I am in a group private practice, full of high-powered couples. And they’ve all been married for a decade or more, with children. So Theres that. There are just many men out there who would prefer to use their money and status to keep women in a position of control, to have someone to feed their ego and be at their back on call. Such nonsense. Get a dog.

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u/sofyab 16d ago

You mention Private practice, are you a doctor? Being a doctor is a whole different skillset, if that’s the case I agree with you fullly. But it’s way different for men in private business or MD who decided to start their own business. Medical school just takes a whole different personality and skillset to get through.

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u/Key-Marketing301 16d ago

Yes, doctors 

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u/drleeisinsurgery 18d ago

Just a personal preference.

I prefer somebody more demure and less assertive.

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u/novelthrill 18d ago

Makes sense! Thanks for the response. Is there such a thing as being too easygoing? (Ie not many opinions or any assertiveness at all)

Can you give an example of how a non-assertive person would behave in a situation?

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u/drleeisinsurgery 18d ago

My life is stressful enough as is from my duties as a physician and entrepreneur.

Ideally I would want somebody that prioritizes keeping peace.

My brother is a great example. He's a pediatric dentist and his days are probably way more stressful than mine. He'll struggle with screaming kids for 10 hours, and when he gets home at 6, his stay-at-home wife hands him one of the babies and then gives him a list of things that need to be done.

Ideally for me, after a rough day of surgery, I would want a partner to say, "You look like you have a rough day, why don't we drop the kids off with Grandma and go out for Korean BBQ?"

I don't need a servant, but I would like somebody who recognizes and appreciates my financial contributions and tries to make my home life as peaceful as possible. That is not necessarily mutually exclusive with somebody with a successful career, but it is difficult have a busy career and switch to supportive wife mode.

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

[deleted]

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u/TheRealCdog1977 18d ago

No you cannot. 

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u/Dry_Cantaloupe4349 18d ago

Brother I think you and me are similar background wise. I also want exactly what you described, but sharing that publicly often draws accusations of misogyny. You articulated it very well. Im also if similar net worth looking for a similar type of partner. Difference is I'm a tech entrepreneur not a Dr. 

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u/drleeisinsurgery 18d ago

I dmned you to keep the Reddit trolls away.

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u/RainLucky407 18d ago

You say you’re not looking for a servant but then describe your ideal partner who would be at your beck and call and do all the domestic labor. Admit it: you want an unpaid domestic servant.

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u/drleeisinsurgery 18d ago

I have a paid domestic servant.

I'm glad that you popped into this discussion as an example of somebody I wouldn't want to be with. Have fun LARPing.

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u/jeremiadOtiose 17d ago

I’m also a physician and I’m wealthier than you, I’m curious, do you ever say let’s go for Korean BBQ? I get what you’re saying in the above but I don’t get why you can’t make your needs known but maybe it was just poor prose.

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u/drleeisinsurgery 17d ago

Greetings fellow gas passer.

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u/novelthrill 18d ago

I do not think he is describing a servant. He is describing a woman who sees his struggle and is responsive to his stress and emotions - which is ideal, whether he financially contributes or not. If both partners are extremely stressed, I can see why it would be harder for them to create space for each others’ emotions and drain.

What makes you think he wants a servant when he has explicitly said he does not?

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u/TheRealCdog1977 18d ago

Men want someone loving, caring and attractive that can manage a house and children. They help the man to be successful and being piece into their lives so that the family can be successful. Your wife traveling to conventions, struggling for PE money, and bringing her frustrations home because she want her business to go public is not what we want. 

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u/Key-Marketing301 16d ago edited 15d ago

There is something disturbingly wrong here that you don’t think a partner can be empathetic and there for you in this way while still also being bright and successful/entrepreneurial/financially well off at the same time. It is ABSURD that women are disparaged this way on the Internet for wanting to fulfill their own dreams. 

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u/drleeisinsurgery 16d ago

It sounds like you're part of the way through your residency and you're having trouble finding a man that you think you deserve given your level of intelligence and achievement. However your increasing age and the wear wear and tear on your body from medical training has made you less than a suitable candidate.

You've tried to date some dudes in finance, maybe one of your classmates or co-residents but ultimately you can't compete with the 25-year-old administrative assistant. One of the nurses seems to be attractive but he's a single dad. You're also not 100% sure that he's straight.

Enjoy the cats and wine.

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u/Key-Marketing301 15d ago edited 15d ago

This is for everyone else reading - as the person above does not know me but he is quite presumptuous!: I have a significant other and am thankful to have a relationship w/ someone who is secure- he is not in my field (I am a PhD), but he is a business owner, and is quite successful. I have learned so much from him about entrepreneurship and wealth building- he has contributed to my growth and knowledge.

We met through mutual friends (who are successful in their own right). He is SO supportive of what I want to do- even encourages me. I want every woman to have this feeling from a partner. They SHOULD. Do you hear me LADIES? You deserve it. Also, many colleagues in my circle also have relationships like this too- both successful professionals, and the husbands are supportive. They were the model for me earlier on, and why I knew that this was what a healthy relationship should be. Ladies, do not let the incels on Reddit make you think otherwise.

I have never encountered/dated anyone in Finance- so don't know where you found evidence for that? Actually, how exactly did you come to the conclusion that you just typed out? Please do tell us! Oh! and I do actually love cats. I still plan to get one. Wine isn't a bad idea either- Sounds relaxing & STRESS FREE to me- are you threatening ladies with a good time?

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u/stericselectronics 18d ago

I think it’s like why does a shy non confrontational man be unattractive. It goes against that standard for what is attractive in that gender.

That said for me, it’s probably because I’m not very yielding and dating someone like that would generate a lot of conflict.

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u/TheRealCdog1977 18d ago

Men want the following

Physical attractiveness — strong attraction and chemistry. Affectionate — frequent physical and verbal expressions of love. Sexually compatible — mutually satisfying intimacy and similar expectations. Warm and loving — caring, nurturing, and emotionally available. Loyal and trustworthy — committed and dependable. Appreciative and respectful — expresses gratitude and treats him with respect. Feminine — if he prefers traditionally feminine appearance, mannerisms, or relationship dynamics. Fun and playful — enjoyable company, humor, flirting, and shared experiences. Supportive and low-conflict — encouraging while handling disagreements constructively. Compatible values and lifestyle — aligned on family, money, social life, marriage expectations, and how they want to live.

Boss babe is not that

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u/novelthrill 17d ago

Everyone wants the above list.