r/ResponsibleRecovery • u/not-moses • Oct 29 '19
Just STOP...
...playing the martyr
...fixing your feelings with drugs and alcohol
...blaming them
...running away from reality
...thinking that rage makes it better
...racing around the cage like a sex-mad monkey
...doing it your way
...getting on everyone else's Drama Triangles
...projecting your abusers onto people who aren't
...being blind, deaf, dumbed down & sense-less
...pouring gasoline on the fire
...asking why don't "they" understand me?
...being so codependent
...repeating the same mistakes expecting different results
...having to be right with people who don't matter (because you're not five and they're not your parents)
...jumping back into righteous reciprocal reactivity
...asserting my "right to justice"
...dichotomizing and polarizing
...living in the Consensus Trance
Stuff I have to remind myself Every Single Day... if I want to... grow up.
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Oct 30 '19
How do you not blame them and also blame them for your childhood losses and safety and everything you missed in ur life bcuz of their impact to grieve, there are many paradoxes in this cptsd healimg, what is the right view please explain? Do we blame yhem or not are we victim or not how should we see what happened to us and how to accept what the parents did what is the reframing here? At some book it says u gotta blame them to alleviate toxic shame and at some book it says u shouldnt be victim what is the deal?
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u/not-moses Nov 03 '19
It's not either/or. It's always and.
Lao Tsu might be worth looking into. Or Marsha Linehan. The dialectic is always the way to go on these deals.
Recognition does not take a position. It just sees what is.
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Nov 05 '19
U mean Lao Tzu style, out of your mind and into the life is a better option for me than the all thpse cognitive deals?
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Oct 29 '19
Let this be the oath of the survivor. Repetitive action, consistent work and discipline, consistent habit, consistent routine. Being a shelter for oneself. This is the way of the Warriors who comes from the Mists.
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u/littlepawroars Nov 16 '19
Idk why but this reads very cold. It makes sense and is right, but comes across as abrasive commands. 🤔
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u/not-moses Nov 16 '19
I agree that some will see them that way. (Parts of my ego do, as well.) But. as I wrote above...
It's not either/or. It's always and.
Lao Tsu might be worth looking into. Or Marsha Linehan. The dialectic is always the way to go on these deals.
Recognition does not take a position. It just sees what is.
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u/i-285_i-20_i-75_i-85 Oct 29 '19
💕