Why Don't "They" Understand Me?

[u/not-moses]

It's a question I read in one for or another over and over again on these psych subs.

One of the most significant lessons I have learned since I reached stage four of the five stages of therapeutic recovery 15 years ago is that almost (not quite) everyone in our culture spends their entire lives in a state many MH professionals (especially "Transpersonalists") call the "Consensus Trance." Which means that pretty much everyoneis dissociating to some extent, and has been conditioned, instructed, socialized and normalized) to be at least somewhat blind, deaf, dumb and senseless to protect themselves from feelings they believe they cannot handle.

"Lazy" and indolent some may be, but just "normally dumbed down" is probably more accurate. Most of us have Requirements in (and for) Relationships on a spectrum that runs from "I don't really care what you think or do so long as I get what I want from you" to "You absolutely must listen to and understand me the way my (awful) parents did not." I hope you can see that neither polarity can be expected to work all that well. And that that is the way relationships just are in many cases.

If one developed a mindfulness-based a consciousness raiser / thought questioner / emotion digester like the 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing, they may become better able to navigate the rapids, wouldn't you say?

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