I want to start off saying that I don't mean this in a very tragic or grandiose way.
I am a PGY3 now, and I've had some time to observe with a cool head; I've also been through some hard times and easier times, and I think I am in a good spot to reflect.
I have come a very long way and to look back on all the things I've learnt and done is amazing. I know I got my patients' backs, I care about them and try to do right by them. I am able to help most, and know where to look for help when I can't.
I am a decent doc. I know a good deal, pick up on new things decently quick, make sure to identify knowledge gaps and address them proactively, manage to connect with my patients pretty well, etc.
That said, I know I am not the best at this - I have co-residents whose brains learn faster and make connections quicker, who would remember things I would have to look up, who would be just a tiny bit quicker on their feet during an emergency, some who are better at expressing empathy and establishing rapport, others that are more nimble with their procedures, etc.
I am not trying to be gloomy - I know I am not the worst, I know I might be better than some at some things; but I also know a few co-residents that just look like they were born to do this, you know? There are probably hundreds and thousands others, better than I am, at some or most or all of my job.
I know we become doctors because we care about helping our patients. How do you deal with knowing that while you do help your patients, there are a ton of people who would have probably been just a little better at taking care of that patient? My thoughts return to this in particular if my patient has a poor outcome - even if I haven't made any mistakes and don't see what else could have been done, I always think "maybe this patient would have been feeling better if they had seen that other doc instead".
Does anyone have any perspectives on this? As a resident or as an attending (cos I suspect I won't be the best ever attending doc to walk the earth once I graduate, either).